Dunn's Countdown To The Rumble: Royal Rumble (2000)

Posted by J.D. Dunn on 01.24.2005

Watch as Cactus Jack beats some credibility into The Game.

Hey just wanted to congratulate you on your great job at reviewing the Rumbles but i also got a question...The WWE always says that Rikishi is the one who's been in the most rumbles but after reading your reviews it looks to me like Rick Martel has been in more. So which one is it?

Good question. The WWE actually has it right. I know. I'm shocked too. Rikishi comes in at a whopping nine (!) Royal Rumble appearances. Martel has six, but they were all in a row so it seems like he was in a lot more. Martel's former partner Tito Santana was also in six (also consecutive). Shawn Michaels actually beats them both with seven appearances.

Couple notes Im sure others pointed it out but just in case...

You said --- Is #30....you never typed in the name of the person (Undertaker of course)

Also at the end of the rumble you called HOG the Hogfather....when Im sure you meant Hog farmer, however it did amuse me. I can see old Hank whoring out his pigs.

Also I loved that you touched base on the "I'm Bizarre" Bulldog thing. When me and my cousin first saw that we couldn't stop laughing and making fun of it for weeks...lol it was just great!

You called Mil Mascaras a local legend to Texas, when in fact Mascaras had many popular stints in California, Mid-South, and even in the WWWF. He got around, and was over where ever he went back then. I like how he eliminated himself, being a former king of Battle Royals. I also like how the WWF turned on and off the "you can eliminate yourself" rule whenever it was necessary.

Good job you've been doing on the Rumble Reviews. btw, keep up the good work

Former fellow 411'er Brian Cole

Thanks Brian. Nice to hear from you.

I actually noticed the Undertaker thing after it was posted. I didn't notice it earlier because I actually did type it but failed to close the bold tag so that when it posted, the whole word disappeared.

The Hogfather was actually intentional. It's one of those things that sounded really funny at the time, but now I don't know why. I just pictured him coming out with sunglasses and gold chains and yelling "piggin' ain't easy!" Guess you had to be there.

I've actually reviewed a number of Mil Mascaras matches in Japan (his series with the Destroyer is tremendous. Check them out here and here). I thought it was significant to point out his time in Texas here because the event was held in Texas. Bad phraseology on my part as it makes him sound like one of the guys who comes out to wrestle Kurt Angle for his medals.

I agree with you on the rules changes. They seem to change rules every year to suit their whim, whether it's 'eliminate yourself,' 'if you're already eliminated, it doesn't count if you eliminate someone,' and my favorite - '2 minute intervals.' Poor Howard Finkel doesn't know what to say anymore.

Hey man Great reviews I have almost every Royal Rumble except 88. I just wanted to mention that I have seen the '97 Rumble probalby 20 times, because the Rumble is my favorite event ever in Wrestling. I have to correct you and the rest of the WWE, Mil Mascaras, did not get eliminated, if you watch closely he goes out in between the Top and Middle rope, which by WWE standards means he is NOT eliminated. So when he did he dive off the top turnbuckle, he was still legal, so not only did Bret get screwed so did Mil, and Mil should have went onto WrestleMania 13 but we can only dream. BTW I'm going to the Rumble next weekend, and I have seats faceing the camera so i'm hoping to be on TV for most of the night. it's gonna rule so many ways. Keep up the good work man.

Good observation. He does indeed go through the ropes and come off the top rope. I guess in WWE logic, on the top rope is considered "in-bounds" like hitting the foul pole so standing on the rope is considered "in the ring." I know, I know, go look for logic in the Rumble rules.

didn't the WWF lie about the attendance with the '97 rumble? i seem to remember them saying something about 60,000 strong at the alamodome, but there's simply no way that's possible considering how lousy business was for the WWF at that point, and the crowd certainly didnt look that big either. do you know the truth about this?

The official attendance is 60,525 from every publication I can find. That's just a little under what they can fit in there for a football game (the attendance record for the Alamodome is 65,380 for Penn St. vs. Texas A & M). Now, if they were saying 60,000+ paid then you know they're lying because the gate was less than $490,000, meaning they would have been charging $3 a ticket. More than likely, they actually did hit that 60,000 figure but the arena was heavily, HEAVILY papered. That would also explain why they were dead silent through a lot of it.


Welcome to the new millennium where the WWF turns a new leaf. (Don't bother correcting me, it's all arbitrary anyway).

Royal Rumble 2000 — January 23, 2000

Live from New York, NY.

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Opening Match: Kurt Angle vs. A Mystery Opponent.

Kurt had only been in the WWE for about six weeks and was undefeated at this point. He lacked credibility but had decent mic skills. His mystery opponent turned out to be the debuting Tazz. Tazz gets a MONSTER pop from the MSG crowd. Tazz backdrops Angle over the top. Angle slips off a suplex and hits one of his won in the aisle. Back in, Angle gets two off a flying forearm. Belly-to-belly by Angle to big heel heat. Angle goes up, but Tazz crotches him. He delivers a Tazzplex off the top rope. ONE, TWO, THR-Angle gets his foot on the rope. Angle small packages him for two as Tazz argues with the official. A bridging German gets two for Angle. Tazz comes back with one of his own that flips Angle all the way over. Tazz delivers another Tazzplex and an Exploder. Tazz finishes with the katihajime (Tazzmission) at 3:14. Really good, considering how short it was. Angle does the stretcher job to put the newcomer over. **1/4

The Hardy Boyz tell their manager Terri Runnels they won't let her come down to ringside for their match with the Dudleyz.

Tazz says he is going to run right through the WWF.

Table Match: The Dudley Boyz vs. The Hardy Boyz.

Bubba, still doing his stuttering gimmick, declares his love for Brave's pitcher John Rocker. Man, that didn't hold up well. Bubba tries to backdrop Jeff through a table, but Matt makes the save. Jeff hits a somersault plancha onto Bubba. D-Von tries to powerbomb Matt, but Matt slips out of it. On the outside, Jeff TAGS Bubba with a chairshot and tries to do that thing where he runs the rail. Bubba blocks with a tableshot. Bubba sets Matt on a table, but Matt recovers. The Hardyz try to superplex Bubba through the table, but D-Von moves it out of the way. Matt grabs a ladder, and the Hardyz do some damage with it. Back to the outside, Matt hits another WICKED chairshot on Bubba. Bubba is set up on a table. Matt jumps off the ladder with a legdrop as Jeff comes out of nowhere with a splash! Bubba goes through the table. Crowd chants "Holy Shit!" They still have to put D-Von through to win, though. Matt sets a chair up between the ring steps (stood on end) and the apron. Matt misses a legdrop, putting himself through a table. D-Von rests against another table but darts out of the way to avoid Jeff's suicide dive. INSANE SPOT! The Dudleyz set up a table on the two ring steps and powerbomb Matt through it. To the outside, the Dudleyz set up a pyramid of tables near the entrance and place Matt on top of them. Bubba drags Jeff all the way up to the balcony. Jeff lowblows him and sends him through the pyramid of tables. Oh, but Bubba's already gone through a table. Matt quickly sets up another table and puts D-Von on it. Jeff Swantons onto D-Von from the balcony, putting him through the table and giving the Hardyz the win at 10:17. Spotty, but inventive. ***1/2

An EMT checks out Angle, who is still loopy from the katihajime. Angle says he's still undefeated if it was a choke.

Royal Rumble Swimsuit Competition:

**shudder**. Your contestants are Ivory, Terri Runnels, Jacqueline, Barbara Bush (B.B.), Luna, the Kat Only Ivory is still with the WWE, in an announcer role. Ivory protests, but showcases her green outfit. Terri's is pretty skimpy. Jacqueline's boots really work. They're working on me anyway. B.B. (who, I believe was doing Bob Holly at this point) is next. Pretty standard actually. Luna refuses to strip because she's a professional with dedication to her craft. The Kat goes next, wearing bubble wrap. It would be a lot hotter if she hadn't stripped completely nude a month earlier. She is incredibly hot though, making me hate Lawler even more. See, now why can't she do a sex tape. Mae Young interrupts, showing you why I lead off with the **shudder**. She has a one piece on…for about ten seconds. After that, she starts to strip fully in a rib on the Kat's strip show from Armageddon. Her boyfriend, Mark Henry runs out and covers her up. The judges give it to Mae. This played like a Dateline piece against breast augmentation. The Kat was the only decent-looking one out of all of them. **shudder**

Jonathon Coachman, I believe making his debut, greets us from WWF NY, which was also making its debut.

In the back, Co-Intercontinental Champions Chris Jericho and Chyna argue over who gets to wear the title to the ring. Dave (or Earl) Hebner comes out and says neither one of them get to wear it to the ring. Showed them.

Kurt Angle thoughtfully and earnestly makes his case for overturning Tazz's win.

Intercontinental Title, Triple Threat: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly.

In one of the more ridiculous angles in Intercontinental history, Jericho and Chyna became co-IC champs off a simultaneous pin. Holly piefaces Chyna down but takes a hiptoss from Jericho. Holly and Jericho takes turns bitchslapping each other. Chyna gets in her own shots. Chyna takes Triple H's bump over the top months before he invented it. Holly hits his dropkick. Jericho comes back with a flying forearm. Lawler is still talking about seeing Mae Young's breasts. "She's so old, I bet they give powdered milk." Ross ribs him about "Man on the Moon." Jericho reverses a huracanrana to the Walls of Jericho. Chyna breaks it up with a clothesline from behind. Chyna tosses Holly and baseball slides him. She and Holly brawl on the floor. Jericho springboards into a crossbody on Holly. Back in, Chyna handsprings into a reverse elbow on Jericho. To the outside again, Holly is about to take Chyna out with a chairshot. Jericho distracts him long enough for Chyna to hit him with a dropkick. Back in, Chyna and Jericho hit stereo splashes on Holly. They don't want another simultaneous pin, so they gets up and start forearming each other. Chyna delivers a lowblow and hits Holly with the Pedigree. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Holly and Jericho deliver a sort of Doomsday Device. Jericho gets two off that. Chyna suplexes Holly, but Holly cradles her for two. Chyna grabs a chair and wallops Holly. She puts him in the Walls of Jericho. Jericho takes offense to that, bulldogging her down and hitting the Lionsault for the win at 7:30. Very solid match, despite the usual limitations of a Triple Threat. **3/4

Michael Cole stands by with the Rock, possibly the most-obvious Rumble winner in history. Rock says he's worried about getting by Crash Holly and Headbanger Mosh. Rock tells Cole to fix himself a nice, tall glass of "shut up juice."

New IC Champ Chris Jericho talks about how grueling the match was. He dubs the title the "Inter-Chris-inental" Title.

Recap of the feud between the Acolytes and the New Age Outlaws. Funny thing: they spent 6 years trying various pushes for Billy Gunn and Bradshaw wound up getting a long title run.

WWF Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. The Acolytes.

Time is running short. Gunn hits Bradshaw with a dropkick. Bradshaw responds with a fallaway slam. Farooq powerslam Road Dogg and goes for the Dominator. Mr. Ass makes the save, but takes a clothesline for his trouble. The Acolytes start hitting their finishers. The ref counts two, but Billy pulls him out. The Acolytes hit the double powerbomb, but the ref is out. X-Pac runs down and breaks up the cover. Gunn hits Bradshaw with the Fameasser for the win at 2:36. 1/2*

Road Dogg tells us they just got their asses handed to them, but they're still the champs.

Recap of Triple H and Stephanie's reign of terror, which finally got Triple H over after six months of trying. Mankind tries to stop them, but Triple H brutalizes him. That brings back Cactus Jack to scare the shit out of Triple H and create one of the most highly-anticipated World Title matches in Rumble history.

WWF World Title: Triple H (w/Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. Cactus Jack.

As much as I love Motorhead, I miss "Our Time." Stephanie returns to the back because at times like this, the womenfolk hide in the barn. Jack jaws threats to Hunter before the bell. Slugfest to start, won by Triple H. Triple H seeks refuge on the outside, but Cactus delivers a neckbreaker. The resourceful Triple H grabs the ring bell and CLOCKS Jack with it. It looks like it just pissed him off. Triple H grabs a chair and calls for Cactus to get in the ring. Cactus charges right into a Grand Slam shot that puts him down. Cactus pops up and jumps Hunter as he tries to untie the turnbuckle pad. Jack legdrops him with the chair on his face. They brawl out into the crowd and down into the aisle. Cactus sets up some pallets and suplexes Triple H into them, causing a dangerous gash in his leg. As if that wasn't enough, he rams Hunter's head into the entrance doors. As Jack tries to drag him back to the ring, Hunter pops up and backdrop suplexes him on a nearby garbage can. Cactus sends Hunter into the ring steps and then hits the running knee to his face. SICK! Cactus grabs a barbed wire 2x4. Hebner blocks Jack from using it, so Hunter lowblows him and steals it. Hunters swings away at Jack's gut and back. Jack lowblows him with the 2x4. Hebner confiscates it and hides it under the announce table. Meanwhile, Jack has been covering Triple H. Hebner crawls back in and counts two. Jack starts assaulting people until they give him back the 2x4 (a ringer). Jack bulldogs the 2x4 onto Triple H's head, triggering an ungodly flow of blood. Jack takes him to the announce table, but Hunter counters a piledriver to a backdrop. Hunter is still bleary from the beating he took earlier. Back in, Cactus counters a Pedigreee to a slingshot. He bulldogs Helmsley onto the barbed-wire. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO!! Cactus Clothesline sends them both over the top. Helmsley hiptosses Jack onto the steel steps. He follows that up with a whip into them. Cactus' leg gets hurt even further as Triple H clips him as he's coming back into the ring. Triple H grabs the 2x4 and BASHES Jack's leg with it. Hunter grabs a set of handcuffs in a replay from the 1999 Royal Rumble. Jack keeps him from locking them, instead using them as a weapon. Hunter kicks him in the knee and chains his hands behind his back. Hunter brings the ring steps in with him, but Cactus drop toeholds him into them. Jack headbutts him in the testicles and bites him. Jack is still bound, though, so Hunter WHACKS him in the back with a steal chair, sending part of the chair off into the aisle. Cactus tries to escape down the aisle, daring Hunter to finish him. Suddenly, the Rock runs out and nails Triple H with a chairshot. A local cop comes out and unlocks the handcuffs. With Jack fully functional, the crowd is just begging for Hunter to get his. Jack takes him over to the Spanish table and PILEDRIVES him on the table. The table doesn't even give either. INSANE! Jack grabs a bag full of thumbtacks and pours them out in the ring. Stephanie comes out to distract Jack. Cactus charges Triple H but gets backdropped into the tacks. PEDIGREE! ONE, TWO, THRE---NOO!!!!!! Cactus kicks out to a HUGE POP! Triple H begs Hebner to tell him Jack didn't really kick out. Jack stumbles around right into another Pedigree ON THE TACKS! ONE, TWO, THREE! (26:50). Brutal, insane and (most importantly) well-booked brawl. After the match, Jack recovers and attacks Triple H on his stretcher. Jack gets a good respect round of applause in the loss. *****

Back to WWF NY where Linda McMahon promises to handle things "the McMahon way."

A bloody Triple H gets medical treatment on the gash in his leg. He asks someone to tell his parents he's okay. The doctor pulls a chunk of wood out of the wound and gives him some stitches.

Royal Rumble match:

Fink just gives up on the interval length this year, saying "uh, two minutes or less." D'Lo Brown is #1, at the height of his popularity. Grandmaster Sexay is #2. Ross gets a little inside comment about Sexay getting a bad break at birth (he's Lawler's son). They slug it out, and Sexay hits a dropkick. D'Lo sets up for the Running Powerbomb, but Sexay counters to a huracanrana. Sexay hits a missile dropkick and throws D'Lo to the apron. Mosh is #3 with bigass tittie cones. Kaientai, who were taken out of the Rumble on Heat, storm the ring and attack everyone. The other guys clear the ring. D'Lo gives Mosh the Sky High Powerbomb. Sexay bulldogs D'Lo onto Mosh's leg. Christian is #4 back in his rare babyface days. Christian charges into Sexay's boot. Sexay backdrop suplexes him. Rikishi is #5 to an INSANE POP! He thrust kicks Mosh and sends him flying. Belly-to-belly for Christian and there he goes. D'Lo gives him a neckbreaker and the shaky, shaky legdrop. Rikishi comes back with the Rikishi Driver. There goes D'Lo. Sexay and Rikishi are down, so Sexay offers to dance with him.

Scotty II Hottie is #6, reuniting 2 Cool. They all stop to dance, which got them incredibly over in the first place. Rikishi turns on 2 Cool and eliminates them. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Everyone makes up, and Rikishi dances solo. Steve Blackman is #7. He knocks Rikishi down with a bicycle kick. He also falls victim to a Rikishi Driver. There goes Blackman. Viscera is #8, putting nearly 1,000 pounds in there between the two of them. Vis belly-to-bellies him and delivers a legdrop. Viscera hits an avalanche but misses a second one. Rikishi thrust kicks him a few times and shoulderblocks him against the ropes. From there, Vis is easy pickings. Bossman is #9. He refuses to get in. Test is #10 back in the days when he was also incredibly over. He and Bossman brawl on the floor. To the ring, Test does the Diesel choke, giving Bossman the opportunity to punch him in the nuts.

British Bulldog is #11. Test boots the Bossman as Rikishi and the Bulldog go at it. Rikishi sets up for the Banzai Splash, but Bulldog lowblows him. Gangrel is #12, nearing the end of his usefulness. Kaientai comes back out to attack. Taka takes a WICKED head bump to the outside, giving King fodder for his jokes the rest of the night. Edge is #13. Rikishi finally does hit a Banzai Drop on the Bossman. Bulldog jumps him from behind. Mr. Bob Backlund is #14, making a brief surprise return to the WWE to hype his run for Congress. Everyone teams up and eliminates Rikishi. Big boos from the crowd for that. Chris Jericho makes his Rumble debut at #15. He dropkicks Backlund out. Backlund leaves through the crowd.

Crash Holly is #16. I'm surprised the Rock even bothered to show up this year. Bulldog gets Edge to the apron, but he lowblows Bulldog to get back in. Chyna is #17. She goes after Jericho. Jericho puts her on the apron, but she suplexes him out! Bossman sends Chyna flying. Chyna and Jericho continue their argument all the way to the back. Farooq is #18. The Mean Street Posse (who were also taken out of the Rumble) runs down and attacks him as he enters the ring. As a result, Bossman is able to eliminate him. Road Dogg is #19. He jumps Test. Holly stomps a mudhole in the Bossman. Al Snow is #20, during his brief heel push. Road Dogg tosses Bulldog. I guess it's a "dog eat dog" world. Ha ha ha! Oh. See, both guys…both guys have dog in their name.

Val Venis is #21. He goes after Test. Funaki, as the only healthy member of Kaientai, runs out again. Bossman eliminates him for the third time tonight. Prince Albert is #22. Val backdrops Edge over the top. Road Dogg has permanently affixed himself to the bottom rope. Hardcore Holly is #23. He also goes after Test. Did Test piss someone off backstage? Everyone is going after him tonight. Rock is #24, blowing the roof off the place. He sends Bossman over the top. Test powerbombs Crash as Rock stomps Hardcore down. Bad night for the Hollys. Billy Gunn is #25. He goes after the Rock, perhaps in retaliation for the "Kiss My Ass" match at Summerslam. Rock DDTs Crash and sends him out. Snow and Venis choke out the Road Dogg.

Big Show is #26. He and Rock come eye-to-eye. Show boots Test all the way over. There goes Gangrel. Big Show dominates everyone. Bradshaw is #27. The Posse comes back out, but Bradshaw destroys them. That leaves Bradshaw open for the New Age Outlaws to sneak up and eliminate him. Kane is #28 back in the days when Tori was his girlfriend. Val jumps Kane, but Kane chokeslams him over the top. Godfather is #29. Kane sends Albert out with a clothesline. Funaki returns. Snow tosses him, nearly taking out the Hos in the process. X-Pac is #30. Snow clotheslines Holly over. Godfather goes over, courtesy the Big Show. Rock Samoan Drops Al Snow and eliminates him to end their feud. Road Dogg makes fun of Snow, so Billy Gunn upends him and tosses him over the top. Kane uppercuts Mr. Ass over the top.

The Final Four are Rock, X-Pac, Big Show, and Kane. The New Age Outlaws pull Kane out and brawl with him, distracting the referees. Rock eliminates X-Pac, but the Pac pulls a Steve Austin and sneaks back in before the refs see him. Kane counters a Big Show chokeslam to a Kanezuigiri. X-Pac surprises Kane with a spinkick to eliminate him. X-Pac Broncobusters Big Show, but Show press slams him out in retaliation. That leaves Show and Rock. Rock hits the People's Elbow, but Show comes back with a chokeslam. Big Show hoists Rock onto his shoulder, intending to powerslam him out. Rock grabs the top rope, though, and Big Show's feet hit the floor first. Show returns during Rock's promo and throws him out of the ring, setting up the Rock's speedbump at No Way Out. Not quite as good as people thought at the time, but still pretty entertaining. ***1/2

Final Thoughts: The first show in a period during which EVERYTHING Vince McMahon touched turned to gold. Jericho? So over as a heel they had to turn him face. Stephanie/Hunter marriage? Made Hunter's career. Kaientai? Solid gimmick until Taka got hurt. Edge & Christian/Hardyz/Dudleyz? The most popular tag feud in the history of the WWF. On a whim, they paired Rikishi with 2 Cool and he became so over they made him a main-eventer. Truly a second Golden Age for the WWF.

Strong Recommendation for the 2000 Royal Rumble.

J.D. Dunn

The 411: 

Final Score:  0.0   [ Torture ]