wrestling / Video Reviews
Dunn’s Countdown To WrestleMania: WrestleMania III
The Can-Ams are Rick Martel and highly-entertaining bitter internet columnist Tom Zenk. Orton is, of course, Randy’s daddy. Martel gets some nice stuff, including a version of a huracanrana that Muraco doesn’t seem to know how to sell. It gets two. The Can-Ams do some double-teaming with a reverse monkey flip and a double hiptoss on Orton. Zenk armdrags Orton down into an armbar. Orton reverses to a Full Nelson. Both teams tease a doubleteam as Zenk and Orton reverse the Full Nelson. Muraco finally tries it, but the doubleteam backfires. Muraco tags in and runs right into a slam. Orton cheapshots Zenk from the outside to give Orton & Muraco the advantage. Zenk and Orton hit head-to-head. Both guys tag out. Martel dominates Muraco and Orton. All four men wind up in there. Muraco accidentally backdrops his own partner. The Can-Ams deliver double dropkicks. Martel gets a flying crossbody on Muraco who trips over Zenk and falls to the mat for the pin at 5:38. Highly enjoyable opener. **1/4
They go nose-to-nose to start. They try to over power one another, but neither man budges. Haynes forces him to the corner. Herc cheapshots him. Hercules misses an elbow and takes a press slam. Billy Jack goes for the Full Nelson, so Hercules runs to the ropes. Billy Jack charges into the corner, but Hercules just ENDS him with a clothesline. Herc backdrops him and whips him hard into the turnbuckle. Another whip to the corner. A nice vertical suplex gets two, but Herc picks him up. Billy Jack starts to make the comeback, but his back gives out on a suplex attempt. Hercules delivers a backbreaker. There’s a press slam too. Herc hooks the Full Nelson but can’t lock the fingers. BJ’s arm drops twice, but he powers out on the third. Hercules whips him to the ropes, but they clothesline each other. Billy Jack pops up and delivers an atomic drop. Billy Jack clotheslines him down twice, but Gorilla is nice enough to put over the psychology of using it to set up the Full Nelson. Almost on cue, Billy Jack goes for the Full Nelson. Hercules makes the ropes and pulls them both out to the floor. Billy Jack grabs the Full Nelson again and holds it until both men get counted out at 7:53. Stupid finish, but the match was way better than you’d expect from these guys. After the match, Hercules attacks BJ with the steel chain. **1/4
Big guys are only supposed to wrestle big guys. The midgets do a four way crisscross and the heels run into one another. Little Beaver and Little Tokyo wind up together. Beaver goes to the eyes, I think. Bundy tags in, but Beaver wants to take him on. A Beaver dropkick has no effect so he tags Hillbilly. Hillbilly knocks him down with a clothesline. Bob Eucker, who has joined commentary, makes subtle double entendres about Little Beaver. Finally, Bundy gets sick of Little Beaver and squashes him with an elbow. Even his partners don’t like that and come to Beaver’s rescue. That’s a no-no, so Bundy is DQ’d at 4:22. 3/4*
Race has the music now used by Jerry Lawler. Dog blocks a pair of punches and knocks Race back. Heenan grabs Dog’s foot, distracting him. It doesn’t work, though, as Dog no-sells and knocks Race on his ass again. They take it to the outside. Race misses an insane diving headbutt from the apron to the floor. JYD yanks him back in and rings his bell. Race takes a goofy bump to the floor. JYD locks in an abdominal stretch. Race hiptosses out of it and drops an ill-advised headbutt. JYD whips him to the corner, sending him over the top Triple H-style. Triple H really has that one down pat. JYD goes after Heenan but walks right into a belly-to-belly from Race for the pin at 3:23. So now JYD must kneel…KNEEL BEFORE ZOD! JYD gives Race a little curtsy, then hits him with a chair. *
The Rougeaus original gimmick was kind of like the Flying Graysons. They hit a double dropkick on Brutus and send him out. Raymond gets a flying crossbody on Valentine for two. Jacques hits Valentine with a reverse elbow for two more. Jacques misses a springboard crossbody to give the Dream Team the advantage. The Dreams do an interesting move as Brutus presses Jacques overhead while Valentine drops a forearm. Valentine locks in the figure-four, but Jacques makes the ropes. Bobby Heenan joins commentary to gloat about his two “wins.” Jacques backdrops out of a Valentine piledriver and gets the tag to Ray. Ray thrust kicks Valentine and backdrops him. For some reason, he decides to stop and grab a sleeper. Brutus tries to break it up but hits his own partner. The Rougeaus hit Le Bombe de Rougeaux on Valentine but the ref is distracted by Beefcake. Bravo sneaks in and drops a forearm on Jacques. Valentine winds up on top for the win at 4:05. Too short. I miss the Rougeaus offense. Valiant and his crew leave Beefcake in the ring to think about what he’s done wrong. *3/4
Slugfest to start. Piper takes off his belt and whips Adrian around the ring. Jimmy Hart gets involved, and Roddy goes after him. Adonis manages to get the belt away from him and whips Roddy with it. Adonis takes the Flair flip to the outside. Roddy drags both Adonis and Jimmy Hart into the ring. He whips Hart into Adonis, sending them both over the top. Jimmy crawls up the ropes, but Roddy grabs him and tosses him into Adonis. Finally, Jimmy trips him up from the outside so Adonis can take over. Adonis puts him down with a clothesline. Roddy goes for the eyes, but that doesn’t work. Hart takes a cheapshot on the outside. Back in, they slug it out again. Jimmy jumps up on the apron and sprays Roddy in the eyes with whatever’s in the canister. Adonis grabs “Goodnight, Irene” (the sleeper hold). Roddy fades, but Adonis drops the hold to celebrate before Hot Rod’s hand drops a third time. Brutus Beefcake slides in to revive Piper, thus completing his face turn. Adonis misses a swing and hits himself in the head with a pair of garden shears. Roddy grabs a sleeper and puts Adonis out at 6:45. Beefcake shaves Adonis’ head as Roddy celebrates with the fans. Security tackles some fan who crawled in to celebrate with Roddy. You can glimpse a dark-haired Pat Patterson (probably wearing a toupee). Not what you’d call a great wrestling match, but really entertaining. This match doesn’t get near enough credit for making this card great. **
Davis was actually a pretty skilled wrestler that the WWF brought in as a referee. Thanks to his shoddy officiating, Tito Santana lost the Intercontinental Title to Randy Savage and the Bulldogs lost the tag team titles to the Harts. The Bulldogs press slam Davis onto the Harts on the outside. Tito and Bret start. Tito faceplants Bret while he’s trying to slip over him. Davey Boy and Neidhart go next. Davey Boy rams the Harts’ heads together. Davey Boy begins to dominate the Anvil, but Bret distracts him. The Anvil nails him from behind, but Bret misses an elbow. Dynamite whips Bret into the turnbuckle. Anvil breaks up a suplex and puts DK in a chinlock. The Harts bust out a Demolition Decapitation. Davis comes in occasionally to get in a few safe shots. Interestingly enough, Bobby Heenan would assume that same role against the Bulldogs the following year. The Harts try to slingshot Davis on top of Dynamite, but DK gets his knees up. HOT TAG to Tito! Tito goes nuts on Davis and knocks the Harts off the apron. He hits the flying forearm but opts for the figure-four instead of the pin. Neidhart breaks that up. Davey Boy comes in and just MURDERS Davis — including A TOMBSTONE! That’s not enough, though. He decides to give him a hanging suplex. Then, a running powerslam. All six men wind up in there. Dynamite gets hit with the megaphone in all the commotion, and Davis falls on top for the win at 8:52. This is more fun as part of a setup/resolution, but the wrestling was just fine as it was. ***1/4
Jesse mentions Barry Blaustein being hyped for the match. Blaustein would go on to make the documentary “Beyond the Mat.” Other stuff Blaustein is famous for: being accused of plagiarizing the script for the Eddie Murphy classic “Coming to America.” Both of these guys came over from the UWF. Reed pushes him against the ropes and forearms him. Koko comes back with a dropkick, sending Reed to the outside. Reed goes to the throat to take over. Koko reverses a whip and hiptosses him over. A dropkick gets two. A small package gets two more. Koko goes for a crossbody, but Reed rolls through with a handful of tights for the win at 3:39. Koko takes exception to the nefarious win, so Slick whacks him with the cane. Slick’s nemesis Tito Santana makes the save. Reed, along with Jim Duggan, is an example of a guy whose workrate dropped right off when he jumped from Watts’ company to the WWF. *
Savage had held the title for over a year coming into this match. Most of this is just too fast for straight play-by-play. Ricky opens with a pair of armdrags and a chokelift. Savage misses a charge to the corner. Ricky lifts him up on a wristlock. He goes right after the Macho Man’s arm. Savage comes back with an elbow and whips Ricky all the way to the floor. Back in, Savage gets a series of nearfalls before Steamboat makes the fired up comeback. Savage gets tied in the ropes. Ricky lays in a few shots. Ricky gets two off a crossbody. They go into a lightning fast series of nearfalls. Randy ends that with a knee to the back. Ricky skins-the-cat back in, but Savage clotheslines him out. Savage goes to the floor and knees Steamboat out into the crowd. Jesse calls Gorilla’s hypocrisy as he defends Steele helping Steamboat back to the ring. Savage drops a double ax-handle and throws him back in for another. He clotheslines Ricky on the top rope for two. An atomic drop gets two. A suplex gets two more. Steamboat fires back. Savage rakes the eyes and gets two off a gutwrench suplex. Steamboat flips over Macho’s shoulder and backdrops him all the way to the floor! Back in, Steamboat jumps over Hebner into a chop for two. Fans thought that was it. Steamboat sunset flip him for two. A schoolboy gets two more. A Jackknife rollup gets two. Small package…ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! This is just insane heat! Crowd thought that was it too, but Hebner just hit the mat hard when he went down. Steamboat slingshots Savage into the ringpost for two. A reverse rollup gets two. Savage reverses with a handful of tights. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Savage pulls Steamboat into the ringpost. They reverse a series of Irish Whips, and Steamboat goes right into Dave Hebner. Savage goes up and hits the elbow drop. But there’s no ref! Macho goes out and grabs the ring bell. He is about to drive it into Ricky’s throat, but Steele sneaks up and pushes him off the top rope. Savage goes for a slam and, in one of wrestling’s most famous moments, Steamboat counters to a small package on the way down. ONE, TWO, THREE! (14:35). One of the greatest matches of the 1980’s. Steamboat pays off a blood feud, not by taking blood, but by taking much more — Savage’s title. Savage is inconsolable on the way back to the locker room. *****
Jake attacks while Honky is on the apron. He kneelifts Honky to the floor and rips his Elvis suit off him. Honky keeps running away. Jake catches up with him and slams him on the outside. Back in, Jake charges into a knee. Jake reverses a wristlock to a short clothesline. Honky slips out of the DDT and heads to the floor. Jake follows and gets whipped into the railing. Honky gets back in and won’t let Jake get to the ring cleanly. Back in finally, Honky hits the second rope fist drop. Honky sets up for Shake, Rattle, & Roll, but Jake backdrops him over. Honky gets the mounted punches, but Jake counters to an atomic drop. Jake backdrops him and rocks him with a series of punches as Honky gets caught in a convoluted see-saw. Jake goes for the DDT once again, but Jimmy Hart grabs Jake’s ankle. Jake turns to go after Jimmy, enabling Honky to sneak up and schoolboy him with hand on the ropes for the upset win at 7:04. Cooper and Roberts abuse Jimmy Hart as a consolation prize. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! *3/4
Before the match, Jim Duggan runs down and makes his WWF debut, keeping Volkoff from singing the Soviet National Anthem. He is, after all, defending freedom by not allowing Volkoff to sing. The heels attack at the bell. The Bees double reverse whips. The heels do a do-si-so but get smacked. The Bees finally isolate the Sheik. They mostly target his arm. Brunzell gets his nice Holly-esque dropkick. Volkoff comes in to break up a pinfall attempt. The heels drag Brunzell to their corner and work him over. Brunzell runs right into a bearhug. He fights out of it and comes back with a high knee. He makes the tag to Blair, but the ref doesn’t see it. The heels continue their punishment of Brunzell. Sheik puts Brunzell in the camel clutch. Duggan decides to chase Volkoff through the ring. He stops and decides he’ll just blast the Sheik with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:44. **1/4
This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. The crowd absolutely hates Andre, booing him out of the building for his entrance. Big staredown to start. They shove each other. Andre tries for a right hand but Hogan blocks. Hogan goes for a slam. ONE, TWO, THREe? NO! Hogan just slipped his shoulder up. Hogan has injured his back to the horror of the crowd. Andre goes after the back as Heenan yells, “That was three!” Andre slams Hogan a few times. Andre whips him from post to post. From there it’s most sitting on Hogan and choking him. Andre misses a headbutt. Hogan delivers a trio of fists, staggering the big guy. He lays into Andre with chops. Hogan charges into a boot. Andre locks in a bearhug to work the back even further. Hogan fights out of it and starts shoulderblocking him. Andre counters a final one with a big chop. Andre follows him to the outside. For some reason, Andre decides to headbutt Hogan while he’s standing against the post. Hogan ducks out of the way, of course, and Andre headbutts the ringpost. Hogan pulls back the mat to expose the floor. Andre backdrops out of a piledriver. Back in, Hogan drops Andre for the first time with a clothesline. Hogan hulks up and SLAMS THE GIANT! The legdrop! ONE, TWO, THREE. (12:08). Hogan retains in the Match of the Century. 1/4* match. ***** entertainment. Split it down the middle and call it **1/2.
Final Thoughts: Hogan vs. Andre makes this an automatic thumbs up just for historical importance, but there is also the classic match between Steamboat and Savage. Not only that, but there is a good Piper vs. Adonis retirement match as well. Not great wrestling from top to bottom, but enough good wrestling to satisfy a critic and enough history here to make it one of the top PPV’s of all time.
Highest recommendation.
J.D. Dunn
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