wrestling / Video Reviews
Dunn’s Countdown To WrestleMania: WrestleMania V
You know it’s a big deal because Vince himself does the promo voiceover using his “SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!” voice.
Haku attacks as Herc is putting his chain away. Herc comes back with a hiptoss and a bodyslam. He drops him with a flapjack and clotheslines him over the top. Herc suplexes him back in and drops a pair of elbows. He chases after Heenan, as Jesse rightly points out how stupid that is. Haku sneaks up behind him and clotheslines Herc. Back in, Haku delivers a nice backbreaker. He pulls him up and does it again. Herc kicks out at two. A bearhug kills some time, but Jesse explains why it’s important, justifying it a little. Then Gorilla joins in to talk about the proper way to apply the hold and why Haku isn’t getting the full effect. Hercules powers out but gets chopped. Herc gets two off a crossbody. Haku misses a springboard crossbody, and Herc takes over. A powerslam gets two. Herc goes up but comes off into a Crescent Kick. Haku misses a diving headbutt, and Hercules finishes with a Bridging Backdrop Suplex at 6:36. Not bad at all. **1/4
The Rockers duck and move to start. Finally, Bossman and Michaels start when things get settled down. Bossman sets him on the top rope and slaps him, so Michaels comes off with a missile dropkick. Shawn tags Akeem on the apron and fires up the crowd. Akeem tags in and has a dance contest with Shawn. The Rockers doubleteam Akeem’s arm for a spell. Marty misses the heels making a tag and gets squashed. Akeem and the Bossman take turns splatting Janetty across the mat. Finally, a heel doubleteam backfires, and Janetty makes the HOT TAG to Michaels. The Rockers doubleteam Akeem and get two off a double shoulderblock. Shawn gets caught with a clothesline that nearly takes off his head. Bossman goes up and misses a top rope splash. The Rockers doubleteam him, and Shawn gets two off a missile dropkick. Shawn tries a top rope huracanrana but Bossman turns it into a spinebuster. Shawn is a stain on the mat. Just to make sure, Akeem comes in and splashes him for three at 8:06. The Rockers bumped around like pinballs, making this an entertaining squash. **
You know when Hogan and Vince are done with someone because they get pawned off on the Barber. Dibiase lords the title over Beefcake and gets smacked. The Barber dominates as Dibiase goes into full Hennig-mode, bumping around the ring like a pin…no, I used that one already. Like a foosball. Beefcake reverses a whip and slams Dibiase. Dibiase is reeling against the ropes, so Brutus clotheslines him over the top. Dibiase calls for a timeout. Back in, Brutus wins a slugfest until Virgil trips him. Dibiase gets two off a fistdrop to the eyes. A double ax-handle gets two. Brutus gets a small package out of nowhere. He reverses a suplex, and they clothesline one another. Dibiase recovers first and locks in the Million Dollar Dream (shinni no make). Brutus reaches the ropes for the break. Dibiase tries twice to ram Brutus’ face into the turnbuckle, but Brutus blocks both times. Brutus rams Dibiase’s head to the turnbuckle about a dozen times and locks in the sleeper. Virgil jumps up on the apron, prompting Brutus to release the hold and go after him. I guess you can tell he wasn’t the valedictorian of barber college. Dibiase and Brutus battle on the outside for a silly double countout at 10:02. After the match, the Barber puts Virgil in the sleeper. Dibiase makes the save. Another solid but unspectacular match in what seems to be the theme for the night. **
Jess and Gorilla get into about who retired when. The Rougeaux keep the Whackers from destroying Jimmy’s jacket, but get whipped into him. The Whackers hit a battering ram as Gorilla talks about immigration policy as it relates to les Rougeaux. Ray puts Luke in the Boston Crab and Jacques stomps on him. Luke gets caught in the wrong corner and doubleteam for what seems like forever. The Rougeaux do the abdominal stretch to a crescent kick. I love that move. They stop to congratulate each other, though, so the Whackers hit the battering ram and a double stomachbreaker for the win at 5:11. Well that breaks the solid match streak at least. *
This is the debut of the quasi-revamped Hennig, as they started to drop his real name and just went with Mr. Perfect as well as changing his tights to the ones he wore for the rest of his career. Blazer is, of course, the late Owen Hart. Perfect reverses a hiptoss to one of his own. Blazer slaps him and drop toeholds him down. Blazer counters a hiptoss with a front flip and dropkicks Perfect to the outside. Back in, Blazer gets a hiptoss and another standing dropkick. A backbreaker gets two. Blazer goes up for a splash, but Perfect gets his knees up. Oof! That looked hard. Perfect applies a reverse chinlock. Blazer comes back with a picture perfect belly-to-belly suplex for two. A crucifix gets two more. Blazer questions the count, allowing Perfect to recover and level him with the Ax Bomber. The Perfect-plex finishes at 5:50. As good as you can get in six minutes. ***1/4
The big deal here is that this was the first time the tag titles were contested in a handicap match. Fuji used to manage Demolition, but he screwed up while trying to cheat at the Survivor Series and got his guys disqualified. When he refused to take the blame, Demolition cut ties and beat the shit out of him. The Powers of Pain, who were two of Demolition’s opponents, helped Fuji up and joined with him. Warlord opens with Ax. He fires away, knocking the Warlord down. The Demos doubleteam him and talk trash to Fuji. Warlord powers Smash into the corner. Smash gets a boot up and makes the tag to Ax. They start the doubleteam on Barbarian this time. Ax makes the mistake of going after Fuji. Barbarian jumps him from behind, and the Powers of Pain take over. Fuji even gets involved — unfortunately, it’s by missing a dive off the top rope. Warlord cuts off a tag, though. Ax ducks a clothesline and makes the hot tag to Smash. Smash dominates. The match breaks down, and Fuji tries to use the ceremonial salt. It backfires and goes in Warlord’s eyes. Demolition finishes Fuji with the Demolition Decapitation at 8:54 to retain. **
Before the match, Jimmy Snuka comes down and parades around the ring to get people hyped for his return. Garvin actually teases throwing his towel out to the crowd. IT’S RONNIE GARVIN! Bravo makes him pay by jumping him from behind and working the back. Bravo’s main offense seems to be whipping Garvin to the ropes and letting him bounce off his chest. Garvin jumps up into a huracanrana position. Lucha Ronnie! Garvin gets a fist of stone to the face. A Jackknife rollup gets two. Ronnie locks in the sleeper, but Bravo is in the ropes. Bravo backdrops out of a piledriver, but Garvin rolls him up for two. Bravo comes back moments later with the Side Slam for the win (3:58). Garvin jumps Bravo from behind and stomps Frenchie Martin. The writing was on the wall for Ronnie, though. *
This is the reunification of Strike Force after Demolition put Martel on the shelf. Martel and Tully start out with a really nice sequence. Arn knees Martel in the back. Martel fires back, taking on both Busters. Tito comes in to help out, and they do a nice doubleteam dropkick. Back in, Martel and Arn do a nice series off an overhand knucklelock. Arn catches him in a bodyscissors. Martel reverses to a Boston Crab, but Tully thumbs him in the eye. Martel makes the blind tag, and Tito comes in with a bulldog. Strike Force puts both Brainbusters in figure-fours. Arn goes to the eyes to break it up. Tully and Tito do the Flair-Steamboat sequence. Arn breaks it up. Strike Force makes another blind tag, but Tully ducks out of the way of a flying forearm. Tito winds up taking out his own partner. The Brainbusters go to work on Tito while Martel is stuck on the outside. Tito gets a sunset flip, but Arn makes the tag to Tully and holds Tito open for him. Tito charges, but Arn gets the knee up to counter. Arn goes up and gets caught. Tito slams him off and crawls towards a tag. Martel says, “Nah, don’t think I’ll be doin’ that,” and walks away. Arn jumps Tito from behind and spinebusters him. The Busters take turns having their way with Tito and finish him with the spike piledriver at 9:16. Arn and Tully were so awesome at this point. ****
Your special guest referee is Big John Studd. At some point, someone tore off the turnbuckle pad. Andre jumps Jake the Snake and rams Jake into the exposed buckle. Jake keeps going for the bag, but Andre grabs him and…holds him. That’s pretty much the extent of Andre’s offense at this point. Andre lays on him. Andre sits on him. Jake comes back with a series of punches and hooks Andre in the ropes. Jake lays in a few shots before Andre gets untied. Andre with the nerve hold. Jake fires back again and runs Andre’s head into the exposed buckle. Andre knocks Jake to the outside. He won’t let Jake back in, so Studd tells him to get back to a neutral corner. Jake grabs the bag, but Ted Dibiase runs down and steals it from him. Meanwhile, Andre has attacked Studd. Jake runs after Dibiase and retrieves the bag. He makes the save for Studd as Andre gets disqualified at 9:38. Horrible match. 1/4*
Honky and Valentine were not yet Rhythm & Blues. Bret starts out with Honky. Bret rolls him up for two. Honky misses a swing and tries to outdo Rick Rude on selling an atomic drop. Valentine comes in and takes another atomic drop. Bret slingshots Neidhart into a shoulderblock on Valentine. Bret delivers a backbreaker but misses an elbowdrop off the second rope. Honky and Valentine take over on Bret. Valentine eventually goes for the figure-four after some nice work by Honky. Bret reverses to a small package for two. Valentine stays on him with a gutbuster. Bret comes back with a crossbody on Honky. That gets two. Valentine blocks a rollup, but Bret scoots over and makes the hot tag to Neidhart. Neidhart starts with the shoulderblocks. He gets two on Valentine. Greg misses a clothesline and gets knocked down by Neidhart. That gets two before Honky makes the save. Bret drops an elbow on Honky and delivers a nice vertical suplex. All four men wind up in there, and Honky goes for the megaphone. Neidhart grabs it instead and tosses it to the Hitman who WALLOPS Honky with it for the win at 7:40. Fine tag team wrestling. **3/4
Rude tries to knee him in the gut, but Warrior is still wearing the belt. Warrior tosses him into the turnbuckle a few times. He whips Rude back and forth into the turnbuckles. Accidental comment by Gorilla: This guy is a rock. Of course, “Rock” was the Warrior’s name when he was in the Blade Runners. Rude goes to the eyes to break out of a bearhug. Rude gets one off a missile dropkick. Warrior goes back to the bearhug. Rude bite his way out, so Warrior bites him back. Warrior goes for a splash, but Rude gets his knees up. Rude gets a piledriver for two. Rude gets a jawbreaker and tries to gyrate the hips, but he’s too injured. Rude with a surfboard. Warrior makes the ropes and shakes him off. Warrior clotheslines him and rams his face into the turnbuckle. Rude avoids a charge and goes for the Rude Awakening. Warrior powers out of that and delivers a clothesline. Warrior clotheslines Rude to the floor and tries to suplex him back in. Heenan waits until Warrior has Rude up and pulls his legs out from under him. Rude falls on top with Heenan holding the feet for the major upset win at 9:42. Unbelievably big upset for the time. Warrior takes out his aggressions on Heenan, which becomes important later. **1/4
Bad News attacks Duggan as he’s getting in the ring. Duggan comes back and knocks him to the floor. Bad News takes a walk but decides to come back. Hacksaw brings him back in. Bad News decides to go after Duggan’s gut instead of his head. To the outside, Bad News whips Duggan into the post. Back in, Duggan ducks the Ghetto Blaster (enzuigiri) and delivers the 3-Point Clothesline. Bad News falls to the floor and grabs a chair. Duggan grabs his 2×4 and we have a duel for the DQ at 3:48. Duggan poses with some snot hanging out of his nose for a nice visual. 1/2*
Funny thing – Gorilla and Jesse are talking about Heenan and Jesse is so used to disagreeing with Gorilla that he says, “No, no, no — yes, exactly.” Heenan is injured from the Warrior, so he tries to turtle in the corner, but Rooster rams him into the turnbuckle. Heenan reverses a whip and charges, but the Rooster ducks out of the way and Heenan hits the post. The Rooster cradles him for the win at 0:32. RESPECT THE COCK! The Brawler tries to attack, but Rooster makes his own save. 1/4*
Elizabeth is in a neutral corner, but Macho is most adversarial to her. Savage ducks out of the ring to avoid a lockup. Finally, they lock up and Hogan shoves him down. Savage runs into him and bounces right off a shoulderblock. Savage slides to the outside again and jaws with Elizabeth. Hogan finally gives chase, but Savage puts Elizabeth in the way. Back in, Hogan takes him down into a front facelock. Macho backdrop suplexes him but misses an elbow. Savage goes to the eyes to get out of a wristlock. A double ax-handle gets two. Savage grabs an armbar, using the hair to keep the hold whenever he can. Hogan pulls the tights to toss Savage to the outside. Back in, Hogan drops a couple of elbows and rakes the eyes. Savage kicks him to counter a backdrop, cutting Hogan open over his eye. Savage goes to the sleeper. Hogan elbows out of it as Jesse wonders if they should stop the match because Hogan is bleeding. Gorilla shoots back that you’re not going to stop a title match for a cut over the eye, which is a shot at the NWA and one of their old screwjob tactics. Hogan misses an elbow drop. Savage gets two off a schoolboy. Hogan clings to Savage’s leg. Macho gets distracted by Elizabeth, and Hogan makes a big comeback. He hurts his arm on a clothesline charge, though. Hogan slams Savage all the way to the floor. Elizabeth runs over to check on him, but Savage doesn’t want any help. Hogan follows, but Savage goes to the eye to counter. Hogan prepares to ram Savage into the post, but Elizabeth is in the way. Savage slips off his shoulder and pushes Hogan into the post. Savage yells at her for helping Hogan. Hebner sends Elizabeth to the back to avoid any more complications. Savage clears his head and double ax-handles Hogan in the back, sending his throat into the ring barrier. Back in, Savage clotheslines him on the top rope. He vertical splashes Hogan against the ropes and chokes him out with some wrist tape. Savage goes up and HITS THE FLYING ELBOW! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Hogan kicks out. Jesse says that’s the first time that’s ever happened, but George Steele did the same thing at Mania 2. Hogan with the big boot and the legdrop for the win and his second title reign at 17:54. These two had good chemistry up to and including this match. ****1/4
Final Thoughts: For some reason, this just fits together so well, making it seem better than the matches would lead you to believe. In reality, there are only two good matches and a great main event. Everything else is solid, though, with the right guys booked against each other and most of the right guys going over.
Solid recommendation.
J.D. Dunn
