wrestling / Video Reviews
Dunn’s Countdown To WrestleMania: WrestleMania XII
Cornette and company turfed Yoko and Fuji after Yoko had a crisis of conscience. If Yoko’s team wins, he gets five minutes alone with Cornette. Wild brawl to start. Ahmed gets his no-hands over-the-top tope onto Vader. Vader and Yoko slug it out. Davey and Owen come in and doubleteam Yoko. Vader misses a swing and takes the uranage from Yoko. Ahmed tags in and powerslams the Bulldog. Ahmed + working safely = millions of $$. Unfortunately, it never happened. Vader attacks him from behind. Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge on Davey Boy, but Owen breaks it up. Vader comes in and splashes Ahmed. Owen comes in, but his clothesline in no-sold. Ahmed levels him with one of his own. Jake tags in and sets Owen up for the DDT. Owen grabs the ropes to block. Jake charges into a knee, and Owen and Davey start doubleteaming again. Vader comes in and just tosses Jake around like a rag doll. Owen comes in for a stump-puller. Davey with the powerslam for two. Vader splashes him, but Jake kicks out once again. Jake stumbles to the corner and tags Yoko. Yoko pummels Vader to a big pop. Owen and Davey try to intervene, but Yoko rams them together. He Samoan drops Davey Boy and tags Jake. Jake goes for the DDT on Owen, but Davey makes the save. Ahmed takes him out, so Jake slips over Owen’s shoulder again and finally gets that DDT. The ref is tied up with the chaos on the outside, so Vader comes in and pump splashes Jake for the win at 13:09. A little disjointed, but it had its moments. **
Piper is standing out back with a bat, so Golddust drives his gold Caddy. Piper re-enacts his fight from “They Live.” Piper tosses him into some garbage cans and sprays him down with a hose. He slams him down on the car and drops a fist. The cameras get close enough to get a really good look at Piper punching him in the eye. That made me wince, and I’ve seen Vader’s eye pop out of socket. Golddust delivers a low blow and runs Piper over with his car. Piper finds the nearest vehicle (a white Ford Bronco) and takes off after him. To be continued…
Austin gets no pop, which is just surreal. Austin attacks him as he slides in the ring. That leads to a slugfest. Vega sideslams him, and they get into a schoolyard brawl. They tumble to the outside and continue the brawl. Back in, Austin sends Vega shoulderfirst into the ringpost. Austin starts stomping him and gets two. Savio slips out of a suplex and sidekicks Austin. We cut to audio of Piper chasing Golddust down the highway. Meanwhile, Austin posts Vega again. Vega tries to clothesline him but hurts his own arm. Austin grabs a hammerlock. Savio tries to flip out of it, so Austin drops him on his arm. He goes up and delivers a second-rope elbow for two. Piper calls in again to confirm that he’s chasing Golddust. Savio suddenly comes back with a crossbody for two. The crowd is just dead here. Austin Thesz Presses him and they go through a sloppy reversal sequence. We move to split-screen as Roddy gets a police escort (and Al Cowlings) to help him chase down Goldie. Savio hits a spin kick, but Austin stays on top. Austin goes up top, but Vega gets his boot up to counter. Another slugfest. This time won by Savio. Savio puts him down with a backdrop and delivers a series of clotheslines. Austin ducks a spinning heel kick, and Savio takes out the referee. Dibiase slides in the Million Dollar Belt. Savio catches Austin with a boot but gets distracted by Dibiase. Austin sneaks up and BLASTS him with the belt. He sets him up and hits him AGAIN with the belt. Dibiase revives the ref with some guy’s Coke. Austin locks in a simple chinlock for the submission at 10:07. Pretty good match, despite the numerous interruptions and dead crowd. ***
At this point, Sable is just another one of Helmsley’s many escorts. Warrior gets a pretty big pop for his entrance. That would end pretty quickly. Helmsley, whose body looks like Kidman’s at this point, jumps Warrior from behind and delivers a Pedigree. Warrior absolutely no-sells and finishes with the shoulderblock, press slam, and splash in 1:39. 1/4* Hunter was supposed to do the job here in exchange for the push that Austin eventually got. Of course, the Madison Square Garden incident changed all that and, in fact, wrestling history.
Diesel’s big advantage was that he wasn’t afraid of Taker. Probably because he was just that cool. They slug it out, and Diesel delivers a corner clothesline. Taker gets his boot up to counter another charge and clotheslines Diesel down. Diesel clotheslines Taker to the floor. Taker pulls him out and punches him in the gut. Taker slams his head into the ring steps. Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Diesel slips out of it. Taker gets two off a crossbody block. Taker with the Ropewalk Forearm. Diesel doesn’t go down, and in fact, ducks under Taker’s ensuing charge. Taker surprises him by snapping his neck off the top rope. Taker knocks Diesel to the floor and rams him to the ringpost. He tries to use a chair, but Diesel ducks out of its way. Diesel sends Taker into the ring barrier. Diesel rams his back into the post. He does it once more. Back in, Diesel boots him and delivers a sideslam for two. A Snake Eyes sets up a vertical legdrop splash against the ropes. Diesel charges into a reverse elbow, and the Undertaker starts his big comeback. They hit each other with boots to the faces. Diesel recovers first and locks in a bearhug. Undertaker fights out of it. Diesel tries to go to a side headlock, but Taker backdrop suplexes him. Taker goes up and delivers a flying clothesline from halfway across the ring. Diesel blocks a backdrop attempt and delivers the Jackknife. Diesel starts to taunt him, but Taker does the Zombie Situp. Diesel gets cocky (cockier) and gives him another Jackknife. Diesel goes for the cover, but Taker grabs him by the throat. Diesel backdrop suplexes him, but Taker sits up. Taker avoids another big boot and delivers the flying clothesline. CHOKESLAM! Taker calls for the finish, picks him up, and finishes with the Tombstone at 16:46. Some decent brawling by both guys, marred by a noticeable slow spot in the middle. Undertaker goes 5-0 in WrestleManias. **1/2
Bret was already a veteran of Iron Man matches, having fought in the first singles Iron Man match with Ric Flair in 1992 and against his brother Owen. in a series of IM matches in 1994. I’ll spare you the play-by-play because it would take a two-parter with my style. They start out with multiple combinations of pro-style mat wrestling and amateur wrestling. Mostly, this is to establish that they are virtually equal in skill. This goes on for a bit before Bret forces him to the corner and doesn’t give a clean break, establishing the slight heel persona he’ll carry for the rest of the match. Shawn headscissors him to the outside, frustrating the Hitman.
Ten minutes gone by, Bret tosses Shawn over, but Shawn skins-the-cat and rides him back down with a reverse armbar. Bret takes over with a headbutt to the abdomen and a chinlock. Michaels squirms out and goes to a reverse wristlock. Bret whips him off and catches him with an atomic drop. Shawn squirms to the ropes to avoid the Sharpshooter, so Bret clotheslines him out. Bret follows but gets posted. Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music and TAGS the timekeeper. Back in, Bret grabs a chinlock and jaws with Earl Hebner. Shawn takes him over with a shoulder roll and clotheslines him down. Bret hits a wicked hooking clothesline and slaps on another chinlock. Michaels punches his way out of it and dropkicks Bret. Bret pops up, so HBK takes him down into an armbar.
Twenty minutes gone. Shawn holds the armbar and delivers a series of knees to the ribs. Bret tries to force his way up, but Michaels rides him back down into a hammerlock. Finally, Bret backs him to the corner and delivers a reverse elbow, again not giving a clean break. Bret rocks him with forearms, but Shawn reverses a whip and sends Bret shoulderfirst into the ringpost. Shawn targets the shoulder even further with a shoulderbreaker. Shawn alternates between pounding away and working the shoulder until Bret hotshots him on the middle rope. He follows that up with a slingshot to the post. Michaels winds up hung on the turnbuckle, so Bret kicks him in the gut. Bret sets him up with a bulldog, but Michaels catches him going up. Bret rams him off the top rope, taking Hebner out in the process.
Halfway through now. Michaels catches Bret with a powerslam for two. Bret reverses a backdrop to a piledriver. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Crowd is split 50/50. Bret gets caught going up yet again, and Michaels slams him off. Shawn huracanranas him and fires away with punches. Bret blocks a reverse elbow but takes a backbreaker for two. Shawn goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Bret ducks to the outside. Big boos for that. Michaels follows him out with a flying body press of the top rope to the floor. Back in, Shawn hits another flying bodypress, but this time Bret rolls through for two. Bret tries a backslide, but Shawn counters to a small package for two. He gets two more off a Fisherman’s Suplex. Shawn grabs a sleeper, trying to put Bret out. Bret tries to push him to the turnbuckle, but Shawn rams him into the turnbuckle and reapplies the hold. Shawn backflips out of a side suplex attempt and mule kicks Bret. He charges, and Bret backdrops him all the way over the top to the floor in a spectacular spot. Jose buys time for Shawn to recover. Bret heads out and rams Shawn’s back to the ringpost. Back in, Bret continues to work the back.
Forty minutes gone by. Bret delivers a sloppy backbreaker and legdrop. Bret goes back to targeting the back. Shawn takes the Shawn-flip off a corner whip and lands, crotched on the top turnbuckle. Bret brings him down with a super backdrop suplex. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Shawn lunges off the second rope but gets caught with a blow to the gut. Russian leg sweep gets two for Bret. Shawn goes over the top again off a whip, taking out Jose on his way down. Bret sneers as the fans boo. He goes out and whips Shawn into the ringsteps, taking Jose out again. Bret cavalierly steps over him and tells him to keep out of the way. Back in, they trade blows, and Bret goes to the back to keep on top. Michaels gets two off a reverse rollup, but Bret sends him all the way to the floor with a kickout. Michaels reverses a suplex, but Bret reverses that to a Bridging German Suplex. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Shawn fights back from his knees. They slug it out in an epic visual — Shawn from his knees, and Bret on his feet.
Ten minutes left to go. Michaels elbows his way out of a chinlock, and they clothesline each other for a double KO. Bret catches him and hoists him up for a superplex. Bret can’t capitalize immediately, but once he does he makes a (possibly) critical mistake of going for the Sharpshooter instead of the pin. Michaels fights out of it, so Bret goes for a single leg crab. Michaels makes the ropes with about five minutes left to go. Bret plants him with a backbreaker and goes for the second-rope elbow. Michaels blocks with a boot and dropkicks Bret as he gets up. Michaels slams Bret into the opposite corner off a whip. Shawn gets a flying forearm and kips up to a big pop. A flying reverse elbow and bodyslam set up a double ax-handle off the second rope. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Michaels suplexes him over and delivers a flying elbow drop. He gutwrenches Bret into a powerbomb and goes up. Bret staggers to his feet, only to have Shawn come off with a moonsault for two. A sloppy huracanrana gets two more. Michaels slams him with a minute left. Michaels goes up for a missile dropkick, but Bret avoids and LOCKS IN THE SHARPSHOOTER with twenty seconds left! Five, four, three, two, one. Michaels holds out until the time limit, leaving us tied at 0-0. (60:00).
However…WWF President Gorilla Monsoon consults with the ref and orders Sudden Death Overtime.
Sudden Death Overtime: Bret objects to overtime but attacks Michaels back before he can recover. He backdrops him and delivers a backbreaker. Suddenly, Michaels slips over Bret’s shoulder in the corner and delivers the crescent kick. Bret recovers first, staggering to his feet. Michaels tunes up the band and delivers SWEET CHIN MUSIC and falls on top for the pin at 61:53 of official time. Another one of my all-time favorites, drawing on a mixture of 1970’s mat wrestling and 1980’s pro-style flying. There were some places where the psychology didn’t hold, dragging it down a little. It has its problems, sure, but that doesn’t keep it from being one of the top matches of the decade. ****3/4
Final Thoughts: The Iron Man match takes up the bulk of the PPV, and is historic and good enough to make it an easy thumbs up for the whole PPV. Also, there are two good undercard matches (Austin/Vega and Taker/Diesel) that keep it from being a one match show. The main event will always be the true draw, though, even if it isn’t for all tastes.
Solid thumbs up here.
J.D. Dunn
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