wrestling / Video Reviews
Dunn’s Countdown To WrestleMania: WrestleMania XIV
*This is the final tape in the “WrestleMania Legacy” collection that you used to be able to buy at your local retail outlets. I doubt you can find it because of the whole WWF/WWE thing, but you can find the events at www.wrestletapes.net.
WrestleMania XIV
The LOD is your mystery team with their new manager Sunny. At the risk of being sexist…BOING! Savio Vega goes over in the chaos. Kurrgen comes down and eliminates Sniper & Recon. Barry Windham runs out and throws Chainz out, eliminating former partner Bradshaw. Kama is wandering around now, so I assume he’s gone. There goes Ricky Morton. Jesus and Jose go out off-camera. Mark Henry press slams Brian Christopher…in the ring. The Headbangers go. Bart Gunn backdrops Scott Taylor over the top, eliminating Too Much. The Godwinns eliminate DOA. Phinneas goes out, leaving the LOD and the Midnight Express. It’s like 1986 all over again. The MX fails to eliminate Hawk. Animal powerslams Bart, and the LOD clotheslines the MX over the top for the win. Everything seemed to happen off-camera, and this win was too little-too late for all three individuals. 3/4*
The light-heavyweight title was a precursor today’s cruiserweight title. It was apparently dissolved after the brand extension when WCW’s old cruiserweight champion was recognized. Anyhoo, these guys do a bunch of spots with no story or flow. Ross says Taka ironically won the title on December the 7th. In know it’s Pearl Harbor day, but is there really anything ironic about a wrestler winning a wrestling title on a holiday? Taka gets a big pop for his dive off the top. Back in, Aguila (Essa Rios) gets his springboard into a corkscrew armdrag. Taka pushes him off the top, but a splash hits the knees. Aguila with a springboard huracanrana. Taka delivers a flying kick in the corner and a missile dropkick. Aguila slips out of the Michinoku Driver but gets powerbombed. Aguila avoids a moonsault and gets two off a majestral cradle. Taka catches him coming off the top with a dropkick. The Michinoku Driver finishes Aguila at 5:58. Nothing but a collection of spots, but it was somewhat refreshing after seeing today’s watered down CW division. **
Owen would come into 1998 feuding with Shawn Michaels, move on to Triple H in the spring, feud with X-Pac in the summer, and finish out the year teaming with Jarrett against (among others) the New Age Outlaws. I think it’s safe to say that Owen was DX’s bitch. Sgt. Slaughter is handcuffed to Chyna on the outside to keep her from interfering. Owen is coming in with a sprained ankle. He attacks at the bell and backdrops Triple H. He gets some mounted punches in the corner as JR implies the WWF kept the best Hart brother. Owen with a rana into a some mounted punches. Triple H elbows him and kicks him in the ribs. Owen rolls to the outside and jaws with Chyna. Hunter misses a charge and goes into the railing. Back in, Owen goes for the Sharpshooter, but Hunter rakes the eyes. Hunter explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. Triple H misses a swing but gets a high knee. A suplex sets up the kneedrop. Owen charges into a boot and gets DDT’d for two. Hunter goes after the ankle now. He probably should have started out with that. Jim Ross points that out just after I type it. Hunter with a stepover toehold. Hunter stomps the ankle. Owen battles back out of a corner. Helmsley tries to get another boot up to counter a charge. Owen ducks and crotches Helmsley on the ringpost. Owen gets a missile dropkick for two. The belly-to-belly suplex gets two. A spinning leg lariat gets two. The enzuigiri takes Hunter down, but Owen hurts his own ankle on the move. Great psychology there. Hunter counters a huracanrana to a powerbomb for two. A flying crossbody gets two. The work in the spot where Hunter shoves out of the Sharpshooter, and Owen bounces off the turnbuckle and headbutts Triple H in the nuts. That gets two. Owen counters the Pedigree to at Sharpshooter. Chyna helps Hunter make the ropes, in spite of Slaughter. Chyna finally gets sick of being tied to Sarge and throws powder in his eyes. Owen turns toward Triple H, so Chyna climbs up and lowblows him. Triple H finishes with the Pedigree at 11:29. I could have done with the Chyna storyline, but these guys worked really well together. ***1/4
Mero was sick of being upstaged by his wife, so he enlisted The Artist Formerly Known as Golddust to help him make fun of her. Luna Vachon, who was Golddust’s weirdo girlfriend, got angry because she was jealous. Interesting psychology here as Mero was jealous of Golddust protecting Sable and Luna was jealous of Sable’s existence but they were on opposing sides. Golddust falls victim to a headscissors and tags Luna. Sable tags in to a big pop, so Luna ducks out of the ring and runs from her. Luna tags back to Golddust. Goldie and Mero come back in. Mero backdrops him and tags Sable. She kicks Golddust in the mush and calls for Luna. Mero has to come back in when Luna doesn’t respond. He gets dominated until he and Golddust knock heads. They both desperately need tags, so the ladies come in. Sable scoops her up and fires away with punches as Lawler rips off Joey Styles’ “catfiiiiiiight!” Sable dumps Luna outside and even gives Golddust a shot. Sable distracts the ref while Mero delivers a low blow to Goldie. Mero goes for the TKO, but Golddust counters to a DDT. Mero flips out of a Curtain Call and delivers a kneelift. He moonsaults into a cover for two. Golddust accidentally takes out Luna. Mero hits Golddust with the TKO, but Luna makes the save. Luna jumps on Mero’s back, so Sable tags in and covers (which shouldn’t be legal). Sable with a powerbomb on Luna for two. Luna gets pissed and starts to comeback, but Sable scoops her into a TKO for the win at 9:11. An interesting snapshot of how Russo’s booking can work. You have a sympathetic babyface in Sable, two unsympathetic heels in Mero and Golddust, and a sympathetic heel in Luna. Match wasn’t bad. **1/4
The DQ rule is waived, so if Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. Shamrock fires into the ring and clotheslines Rock over the top. Back in, Rock reverses a corner whip, but Shamrock explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. Rock makes the comeback and gets the People’s Elbow. It only gets two because this is 1998. Shamrock heads out and gets a chair. The ref tries to take the chair away from him, so Shamrock shoves him aside. Rock grabs the chair and WHACKS Shamrock in the face with it. It only gets two and serves to piss Shamrock off. He powerslams the Rock and finishes with the Anklelock at 4:49. Shamrock goes nuts and takes out the other Nation members. He puts the Rock back in the Anklelock, venting months of frustration. Farooq runs down and decides to let Shamrock have the Rock (tensions had been mounting between Farooq and the Rock). WWF officials try to stop him, so Shamrock takes them out too. They stretcher Rock out, so Shamrock runs down and attacks him again. All this prompts the referee to reverse his decision and disqualify Shamrock. The Rock is still YOUR WWF Intercontinental Champion. The actual match felt like they sawed the first 15 minutes off a four star match and left the rest. **
Cactus pairs off with Road Dogg and immediately tries to put him in the Dumpster Vining trash receptacle. Billy stomps Funk down on the other side of the ring. Cactus goes for a somersault onto the Dogg, but Gunn dropkicks his partner out of the way. Cactus hits the side of the Dumpster Vining trash receptacle instead. Billy backdrops Terry into the receptacle and gloats. Road Dogg starts to close the lid, but Cactus pops up at the last moment. Funk pops Gunn with what looks to be a cookie sheet. Back in the ring, Funk DDTs Gunn. Cactus throws a bunch of stuff in, including a ladder. Cactus sets up the ladder and climbs right near the receptacle. He and Gunn fight on the top of the ladder until Road Dogg knocks Funk into the ladder and sends them both into the receptacle. JR works in the “they know how to fall” bitch. The Outlaws powerbomb Funk into the receptacle and chase Cactus to the back. Bad move. Cactus grabs a chair and destroys both of them. He plants Billy on a pallet. Terry shows up, scoops the Outlaws up with a forklift and dumps them in another trash receptacle for the win at 10:00. “Dumpster” is a trademarked brand name, if you were wondering, and these were not “Dumpsters.” Jack and Funk would have to hand the titles back the next night because they put the Outlaws in the wrong receptacle. The match was nothing more than a few impressive spots and some garbage brawling. **1/4
Kane’s big advantage was that he wasn’t scared of the Undertaker because he was even more powerful. Pete Rose plays special guest announcer and insults the crowd, prompting Kane to give him a Tombstone, setting off a few years of feuding. Taker gets O Fortuna and about two dozen druids lining the aisle for his entrance. Kane overpowers him and throws him into the corner. Undertaker avoids him and fires away. Kane whips him to the opposite corner but runs into a boot. Taker no-sells a clothesline. More punching and kicking. Kane hangs Taker on the top rope and comes off the top with a forearm shot. I can’t remember another time I’ve seen him do that. They fight on the outside, and Kane rams Taker’s face into the ringsteps. Bearer distracts the ref long enough for Kane to smash Taker’s head with the steps. Bearer even gets a shot in. Kane drags Taker back in and flails away in the corner. Taker staggers him with a clothesline but gets caught with the CHOKESLAM! Kane covers for two but pulls Taker up. Taker fights out of a chinlock, but Kane cuts off his comeback and drops an elbow. Taker powers up again and throws Kane over the top. Taker goes for his insane no-hands tope, but Kane avoids it, sending Taker through the Spanish Announce Table. Back in, Kane goes up and delivers a flying clothesline off the top. Taker lets Kane punch himself out and fires back. Taker catches him in a Tombstone Position, but Kane reverses to one of his own. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Taker kicks out. Taker battles back and gets his own chokeslam as Bearer damns him to hell. TOMBSTONE! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Kane kicks out. Taker drops a leg. Kane no-sells but staggers into another Tombstone. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO!! Undertaker can’t believe it. Taker goes up top and delivers a top-rope clothesline. Kane gets up again, but this time the Undertaker’s Tombstone is just enough to put him away at 16:58. After the match, Kane Tombstone’s the Taker on a chair. Kane and Bearer walk out, but Undertaker sits up and glares at them as they leave just to let you know this ain’t over. Undertaker’s strategy, lifted from Ali as they pointed out, was to let Kane punch himself out and then make the comeback. It certainly made for a more interesting match than their WMXX match and got Kane over as a monster heel. **3/4
Mike Tyson is your special guest enforcer. He gets X-Pac’s entrance music. I think it’s safe to say Austin is over here. The idea here is that Tyson is an honorary member of DX and, thus, will be biased. Both Austin and Michaels are suffering severe injuries, in fact this was Michaels’ last match in the WWF/WWE until 2002. Michaels ducks and gives him a little love tap. He does it again, so Austin chases him around the ring. Back in, Austin delivers a sledge and yanks Shawn’s trunks down. Michaels charges, but Austin backdrops him over the top on top of Triple H. Hunter jumps Austin from behind, so the referee sends Triple H and Chyna to the back. Michaels stays on top with a double ax-handle. Austin chases Hunter down and tosses him into the DX band setup. Michaels runs after them and hits Austin with a cymbal. Back to the ring, Austin catches Shawn coming off the top. He whips him into the turnbuckle for the Shawn flip. Austin catches him with a screwed up atomic drop for two. He hot shots him on the top rope and then knocks him off the apron. Michaels’ face smacks the announce table. Oooh! Austin tosses him back in for the first resthold of the match. HBK counters with a jawbreaker. Michaels tries to wrap Austin’s knee around the ringpost, but Austin rams his face to the post. They fight on the outside, where Michaels backdrops him over the top to the outside. Back in, Michaels pummels him for a bit and staggers to the ropes. Either Michaels is doing a great acting job or he’s in excruciating pain. Michaels stomps Austin in the stomach and flips off the crowd. Of course, that pisses Austin off, so he explodes with a takedown and throws Michaels over the top rope. Michaels grabs him and wraps the leg around the ringpost — the move he was looking for earlier. Back in the ring, Michaels slams Austin’s leg into the canvass. He talks trash to JR and goes with a kneebar. Austin counters to a rollup for two, but Michaels stay on top. Michaels splashes the leg against the ropes, so Austin ducks to the outside for a breather. Michaels baseball slides him to the announce table. Tyson tosses Austin into the ring where Michaels clips him. Michaels with the rope-assisted figure-four. Austin pulls him to the center and turns it over, so Michaels rolls to the ropes. Austin slingshots him into the turnbuckle and rolls him up for two. Michaels grabs a sleeper, but Austin runs him backward into the referee. Michaels charges into a hotshot. Austin stomps a mudhole in the corner. Michaels comes back with the flying forearm but barely finds the strength to kip up. He goes up and delivers the flying elbowdrop. No ref. SWEET CHIN MUS–NO! STONE COLD STUN–NO! SWEET CHIN–NO! STUNNER! Mike Tyson slides in and counts a quick three, giving Austin his first world title at 20:03. Michaels asks Tyson what’s what, so Tyson levels him with a punch. Austin was still suffering from the Summerslam injury and had to alter his style to the wild brawling you see here. Michaels, of course, was on his way out and could barely move without severe pain. This was about as good as you were going to get out of these two, given the conditions. The storyline execution didn’t quite make up for their lack of physical ability, but it saved the match enough to be entertaining. Interestingly enough, the same thing would happen for the Kawada vs. Misawa transition match around this time. ***3/4
Final Thoughts: While it was given raves when it first happened, this Mania hasn’t aged well (like most stuff from the Attitude era). Watching something like the tag title match I found myself thinking, “This is so 1998.” It’s like listening to Third Eye Blind. It gives you a little feeling of nostalgia as you do the “doot, doot doot doo doo doo” part and then you wonder what you were thinking. Even with the dated feel, though, there is enough to recommend — even as more than a curio.
Thumbs up.
J.D. Dunn
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