BG Says: PWG Uncanny X-Mas
Posted by Brad Garoon on 05.03.2006
How much Vaseline must Christopher Daniels put on his head to slip out of a headlock? What did Colt Cabana get for Chanukah? The answers to these questions and more inside!
December 18, 2004 - Los Angeles, California
Your hosts are Disco Machine & Excalibur, with Colt Cabana joining in to give a Hebrew flavor to the festivities.
Santa Klaus graced PWG with his presence this evening, taking over ring announcing duties for John Ian.
VS. Human Tornado & Ronin VS. Topgun Talwar & Excalibur [Ballards Careers on the Line]
The Ballards had been expelled from PWG but had come back under hoods as Los Rojo Locos. Topgun Talwar and Supa Badd exposed them after a match against Excalibur and Disco Machine, at which time Human Tornado came to their rescue. Excalibur and Ronin start. Ronin grabs a headlock but walks into a back elbow. They dodge each other's clotheslines and Excalibur bails. Talwar and Tornado tag in and play around for a bit. Tornado gets a wristlock but Talwar reverses to his own. He keeps it on with a bite to Tornado. Tornado bails and wipes off the spit on some fans. He grabs a bag of chipotle and baits Talwar with it. He tosses it to the floor and Talwar follows it out. Excalibur goes out to slap some sense into him and Tornado dives onto both of them. He tosses Talwar into a bunch of chairs and then whips him outside the building. Excalibur goes outside to look for him but has no luck. As if from nowhere Talwar appears in the ring and nails Tornado with a clothesline. Excalibur tags in and hits a vertical suplex for 2. He hits a running knee in the corner and puts on a camel clutch. Talwar comes in and chokes Tornado out with some exercise equipment. He goes back to the biting wristlock and then hits a bodyslam. He hits an elbowdrop for 2. He hits an ugly bulldog for 2 when Tornado gets his foot on the bottom rope. Excalibur comes in and hits a back suplex for 2 with a cocky pin. Talwar tags in and walks into a big boot. He hits a basement shoulder block for 2. Excalibur tags in and gets hit with the pimp slap. Tornado hits a tornado DDT. Talwar and Ronin tag in and trade forearms. Ronin reverses a DDT to a neckbreaker. Tornado gets crotched on the top rope and Excalibur catches him with a German superplex. Ronin hits Excalibur with a DVD for 2 when Talwar saves. Talwar hits the Chipotle Drop for 2. Tornado unloads on Talwar and reverses the Dangah Zone to a northern lights bomb for the win at 11:45. The match was good fun for the most part. It gets bonus points for the commentators completely forgetting to talk about the Ballard stipulation until after the match was over. Hilarious that a months long program would be wrapped up as an afterthought. Rating: **3/4
VS. Christopher Daniels VS. Tony Stradlin
I've been enjoying Stradlin's work in PWG, so it pleases me that he's been getting higher profile opponents with each show. He's going into this 0-3, and he's out of a job if he loses. They lock up and things get aggressive. Daniels gets a headlock but Stradlin shrugs him off. Daniels puts on a hammerlock but Stradlin reverses to a wristlock. Daniels gets a leglock but Stradlin fights out. Daniels goes back to the headlock but Stradlin reverses to a legvice. Daniels slips out and puts on a front facelock. Stradlin gets a drop toehold into an armbar. He stays on the arm with a wristlock but Daniels comes back with a kick to the gut. He suplexes Stradlin up into a gutbuster for 2. He blocks a sunset flip and hits an elbowdrop. He hits a kneedrop for 2. Stradlin hits a back elbow but gets caught in an abdominal stretch. Stradlin hiptosses out but Daniels comes back with a spear for 2. He puts on a seated abdominal stretch and then hits a gutbuster for 2. He hits an elbowdrop for 2. Stradlin hits a Rocker Dropper and a clothesline. He hits a back bodydrop and hangs Daniels over the top rope. He climbs the ropes and hits a senton on Daniels for 2. Daniels hits an enziguiri for 2. He hits a blue thunder bomb for 2. Stradlin catches Daniels on the second rope with a spinning kick for 2. Daniels hits a uranage but Stradlin dodges the triple jump moonsault. He hits a roaring forearm for 2. Daniels catches him with a flatliner but Stradlin reverses the Angel's Wings to a roll up for the win at 15:43. Another match that showed good stuff from Stradlin and the usual solid if unspectacular PWG outing from Daniels. Rating: ***
VS. Chris Hero VS. Austin Aries
It's ROH vs. CZW before it was hip! Aries doesn't believe in Christmas but Hero thinks it's awesome, thus we have this match. Hero grabs a waistlock to start but Aries reverses to a front facelock. Hero gets a wristlock but Aries reverses to his own. Hero puts on a cravat but Aries chokes him to escape. They knuckle up and Aries gets his own cravat. Hero slyly gets his cravat back on but Aries slips away. Aries can't reach up for a knucklelock so he kicks Hero in the gut and grabs a headlock. Hero tries a few escape techniques but Aries has it locked in. Hero comes back with a dropkick and Aries bails. Back in the ring Hero hits a back bodydrop. He goes to work on the leg and then rolls him into a cravat. He snap mares Aries' leg into the turnbuckle and then puts on a ladylock. Aries comes back with a clothesline and punts the back. He hits the corner elbow and the corner dropkick for 2. Hero leaps over a kick to the gut and dropkicks the knee. Aries hits an enziguiri and a back elbow. He hits an elbowdrop for 2. He hits a kick to the chest for 2. He hits a rib breaker and the powerdrive elbow for 2. He puts on a cobra clutch and hits a backbreaker. He puts on the fish hook but Hero fights away. Hero hits an inverted dragon screw and a back elbow. He hits a clothesline and a big boot. He forearms Aries to the floor and follows him out with a suicide dive. Back in the ring Hero puts on a deathlock. Aries comes back with a back suplex and a brainbuster for 2. He puts on the fish hook but the referee calls for the break. Hero hits an Alabamaslam and a senton for 2. He puts on an STCravat but Aries gets to the ropes. Hero hits a dragon screw and sets Aries up top. Aries fights him off and hits the 450 splash. He can't cover immediately because his knee is messed up and only gets 2. Hero hits a pair of side suplexes and a shinbreaker. He puts on a cloverleaf for the win at 20:55. This had really good and consistent action, but never quite kicked out of first gear. Rating: ***1/4
VS. Scorpio Sky & Quicksilver VS. El Generico & Kevin Steen
Sky and Generico start. Sky dominates on the mat and comes up with a front facelock. Generico reverses to a wristlock but Sky comes back with one of his own. Generico gets a headlock and puts on a leglock. Sky gets to the ropes and begs off. He gets a roll up for 2. Quicksilver tags in and Generico goes to work on his arm. Steen tags in and decides to go into business for himself. He shoves Generico away and puts on a headlock. Quicksilver hits him with a hurricanrana and a leg lariat. Steen gets psyched out and tags to Generico. Generico hits a Polish hammer and a leg lariat. He hits a bodyslam and a standing moonsault for 2. Quicksilver blocks a blind charge and hits a back suplex for 2. He hits a back elbow for 2. Sky tags in and they hit a double back bodydrop. Sky hits a pair of elbowdrops and a vertical suplex for 2. Quicksilver tags in and puts on a Boston crab. Sky pulls Generico up with a camel clutch until the referee calls for the break and Quicksilver dropkicks Generico in the face. Steen gets dumped to the floor but pulls Sky to the mat. Steen tags himself in and cleans house. He hits Quicksilver with a swinging side slam for 2. Sky rolls him up for 2. Steen hits an elbowdrop on Sky and then hits him with a gutbuster. That was kinda sloppy. It gets 2. Sky runs off Quicksilver's back to hit a kneestrike on Steen for 2. Generico hits a backbreaker on Quicksilver but Steen nails him with an enziguiri by mistake. Quicksilver hits Steen with a springboard clothesline and Sky dives onto the Canadians on the floor. Quicksilver tries to do the same but Steen catches him with a lariat for 2. He hits a backbreaker and Generico hits a split legged moonsault for 2. Generico sets Quicksilver up top but Quicksilver blocks the brainbuster and Sky hits Generico with a frog splash. Steen hits Sky with a missile dropkick. Quicksilver hits Steen with a swinging DDT. Generico hits Quicksilver with a half nelson suplex. Generico hits a big boot on Sky and Quicksilver hits a climbing knee on Steen. Generico and Quicksilver trade forearms until Quicksilver hits a spinebuster for 2. He climbs the ropes but Generico cuts him off and suplexes him onto the top rope. Ugly stuff. Sky runs in and German suplexes Generico. He blocks Steen's package piledriver and gets a backslide for the win at 14:39. This had great action throughout and was a lot of fun to watch, even with all the chaos and legal man issues. A little sloppy in places, but I dig the way the two teams gelled for the most part. Rating: ***1/2
After the match Santa Klaus gives Generico a new shirt for being a good luchador all year long. Klaus gives Steen a shirt because he's a forgiving man. Steen puts his shirt on and helps Generico get his head through. Then he hits Generico with the package piledriver and reveals for everyone that Santa Klaus is really Dino Winwood. What a humbug.
VS. Super Dragon (c) VS. Johnny Storm [PWG Championship Match]
I can't imagine what Storm did to earn this title shot. Storm gets a head scissors takedown but Dragon nips out. Dragon hits an armdrag and a hurricanrana. They trade chops and shoulder tackle each other down. They lock up and roll to the floor where they break. Back in the ring Storm gets an anklelock. Dragon reverses to a leglock but Storm comes back with a wristlock. Dragon gets a headlock but Storm reverses to his own. Dragon gets a wristlock but Storm does some cute British stuff to reverse to his own. They knuckle up and Dragon pins Storm for 2. Storm flips around to get an armdrag for 2. Dragon hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. He puts on a leglock but Storm reverses to an STF. Dragon comes back with a snap suplex for 2. He puts on the full nelson leglock but Storm reverses to the Kayak. Dragon reverses the hold and boots Storm's head. They crawl all over each other in an extremely homo-erotic way. I'm talking really gay here folks, even by wrestling standards. Dragon hits a double stomp for 2. Storm hits a hurricanrana and an enziguiri. Dragon bails and Storm follows him out with a double jump butt bump. Back in the ring Storm gets 2. Dragon catches him coming out of the corner with a tombstone piledriver for 2. He hits the Curb Stomp for 2. He hits it again and puts on a bow and arrow lock. Storm chops Dragon's face to escape. Dragon sets him up top but Storm brings him down with a crossbody for 2. They fight on the apron and Storm climbs the ropes. He catches Dragon with a hurricanrana to the floor, hitting his face on the apron along the way. Storm ties his boot laces rather than capitalizing and then breaks the count. He attacks from the apron with a double stomp and gets 2 back in the ring. He sets Dragon up top and goes for a reverse supercanrana but Dragon blocks. Back on the mat Storm hits a reverse hurricanrana for 2. He hits the Wünder Wheel for 2. He climbs the ropes but Dragon dodges a moonsault. Dragon hits a double stomp to the back and climbs the ropes. He hits a double stomp from the top to the back of Storm's head for 2. A fat fan falls out of his chair, just to give me a giggle. Dragon climbs the ropes again but Storm crotches him. He hits a reverse supercanrana for 2. He hits the Curb Stomp but Dragon comes back with a sunset flip for 2. He hits a dragon suplex for 2. He hits a roaring forearm and sets Storm up top. He hits a blue thunder superbomb for the win at 28:22. Well, the finish was cool but felt completely tacked on, and the match preceding it was full of neat segments without much holding them together. Rating: **3/4
After the match a shorter, thicker Super Dragon dressed in red attacks the green one. He hits him with a Psycho Driver and then flips off the crowd on his way out.
VS. Colt Cabana VS. Spanky
Cabana reads off the gifts he got for Chanukah. He got a ticket to California to wrestle for PWG, a Chinese food dinner on Christmas, a diamond studded yarmulke, a collection of Woody Allen DVDs, a Barry Horowitz action figure, a Passion of the Christ DVD subtitled in Hebrew, and a corrective circumcision so he can piss straight. On the eighth night he received a tape of the conversation that went on in Vince McMahon's office the day that Spanky left the company. He mimics Spanky whining about being a jobber, thus giving this match a purpose. They knuckle up and Cabana pins him for 2. Spanky gets a chinlock so Colt gives him a Wet Willie. Spanky gets a wristlock but Colt kicks away. Cabana puts on a hammerlock and gets a sunset flip for 2. They trade roll ups and end up pinning each other for many, many 2 counts. The referee has enough of it and just refuses to count for either of them. Spanky grabs a headlock but Cabana somersaults out. Cabana grabs a headlock and gets a roll up for 2. He hits an armdrag into an armbar and then puts on a headlock. Spanky shoots him to the floor where his manager attacks him. Back in the ring Spanky grabs a chinlock. He hits a back elbow for 2. He goes after the leg but Colt attacks the arm to escape. Spanky runs Cabana's head into his knee and goes back to the chinlock. Cabana powers up and rams Spanky into the turnbuckle. Their heads collide and both collapse. Cabana hits a clothesline and a back elbow. Spanky dodges a butt butt and puts on a cobra clutch. Cabana powers up into a Samoan drop for 2. He pounds on Cabana but then accidentally tags the referee with a right hand by mistake. Spanky's manager gets in the ring and distracts Cabana. Spanky holds Cabana for a heart punch but ends up taking the move instead. The manager tries to give Spanky CPR but Cabana shoves him away because he knows how to do the procedure. He goes to give Spanky mouth to mouth, which revives Spanky out of fear. Spanky knocks the manager out of the ring by mistake and gets rolled up for 2. Cabana hits a hiptoss for 2. They criss cross and Cabana gets a backslide for 2. Spanky hits a superkick for 2. Spanky flatlines him into the turnbuckle but can't hit Sliced Bread #2. Cabana blocks a roll up and gets his own for the win at 14:15. For comedy this was very entertaining, as a match it was only somewhat decent. Rating: **1/2
VS. Chris Bosh & Scott Lost (c) VS. The Havana Pitbulls [PWG Tag Team Championship Match]
The Pitbulls won a match in the vacuum of space on the last show against Apollo Kahn and Hook Bomberry to get this shot. Bosh and Reyes start. Bosh hits a knee to the gut and rakes the eyes. The Pitbulls hit the Cuban Missile Crises early for 2 when Lost saves. He dropkicks Romero out of the ring and hits Reyes with a gutbuster. He hits a dropkick but Reyes comes back with a flurry of kicks. Romero tags in and hits a stiff kick to the back. Lost goes to the eyes and tags to Bosh. Bosh slaps Romero who comes back with more kicks. Reyes tags in and the Pitbulls double-team Bosh. Reyes gets 2 when Bosh puts his foot on the bottom rope. He hangs Bosh over the top rope for 2. Romero tags in and puts on an octopus stretch. Bosh gets to the ropes. Romero grabs a headlock and gets a head scissors takeover. Romero gets the Lady in the Lake and tags to Reyes. Reyes hits a stiff kick to the head and puts on a sleeper hold. Bosh hits a chinbreaker and tags to Lost. Lost hits a back heel kick and a spinning roundhouse kick. He hits a vertical suplex for 2. He puts on a chinlock and then hits a knee to the gut. Reyes unloads with kicks but Lost goes to the eyes. Romero tags in and puts on a chinlock. Lost escapes with a back suplex and tags to Bosh. Bosh uses some fancy footwork and hits a fisherman's suplex for 2. Lost tags in and slugs away. Bosh tags in and bites Romero's head. On the floor Bosh rams Romero's back into the post. Back in the ring Romero tags to Reyes. Lost comes in and hits a back heel kick. Reyes kicks away and both men clothesline each other down. Bosh and Romero tag in and Bosh hits a clothesline. Romero hits a running kneestrike on Bosh and slaps Lost into the corner. He blocks the Superman spear and hits a double stomp to the back. Bosh comes in and gets trapped in the hammerlock guillotine choke. Bosh falls and Romero gets 2. Bosh hits a clothesline into a backbreaker for 2. Lost and Reyes tag in and Reyes hits a northern lights suplex for 2. Lost hits an Ace Crusher for 2. He tries to nail Reyes with the title belt but the AXP hit the ring. Scorpio Sky hits Lost with the belt drawing the disqualification at 17:34. The match was very stiff but mostly dull and had a terrible, heatless finish. I hate giving a Scott Lost match such a low rating. Rating: **1/4
After the match the AXP brawl with the Havana Pitbulls as Bosh and Lost sneak to the back. Talwar and Excalibur try to break it up, but these teams simply cannot be pulled apart.
VS. American Dragon VS. Samoa Joe
The winner here faces Super Dragon for the title at some point in the future. There is no time limit in this match because these two went to a thirty-minute draw the last time they wrestled in PWG. They lock up and Joe powers Dragon into the corner. Joe gets a single leg takedown and works the ankle. Dragon reverses to an armbar but Joe slips away. They knuckle up and Dragon gets a surfboard stretch. He puts on a Steiner Recliner but pulls on the nose and the referee calls for the break. Joe puts on a half crab but Dragon reverses to a chinlock. Joe gets to the ropes. Dragon gets a wristlock and hits a dropkick. Joe kicks Dragon out of the ring but he gets back in at 9. Dragon kicks Joe to the floor but Joe comes back in and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. He hits the Big Joe Combo for 2. He puts on a chinlock but Dragon escapes and goes for the Mexican surfboard. Joe powers out, launching Dragon across the ring. Dragon hits an enziguiri and tries the surfboard again. Joe is just too heavy and Dragon can't get him up. He settles for a choke hold but Joe gets to the ropes. He hits the Big Dragon Combo and then puts on an STF. He stomps on Joe's ankle and then puts on a leglock. Joe gets to the ropes. Dragon chokes him over the top rope but then runs into the STJoe. Joe hits a vertical suplex and Dragon bails. Joe hits a baseball slide and sets Dragon in a chair. He gets back into the ring and then flies out with a suicide dive. Dragon gets back into the ring at 19, following Joe who made it in at 17. Joe washes his face and then levels him with a forearm. Dragon comes back with a dropkick and a European uppercut for 2. He puts on a cravat and hits a kneelift. He climbs the ropes and hits the diving headbutt for 2. Joe hits a powerslam for 2 and then puts on a cross armbreaker. Dragon hits a hurricanrana for 2. He gets a roll up for 2. He gets a crucifix pin for 2. Joe hits a lariat for 2. He hits a powerbomb for 2 and puts on the STF. Dragon gets to the ropes. Dragon gets the Cow Killer but Joe gets to the ropes. Dragon hits a German suplex for 2. He gets Joe in the airplane spin and collapses after releasing. He climbs the ropes but is too dizzy and crotches himself. Joe takes the opportunity to hit him with the muscle buster for the win at 23:32. I liked their match at The Musical better overall, but this had a finish, and a creative finish at that. Good main event here. Rating: ***3/4
The Easter egg on the main page will reveal following backstage shenanigans.
Topgun Talwar is happy because he's completely drug free. All he needs is chipotle. Kevin Steen walks by and knocks the chipotle off the table, setting Talwar off on a Sam Kinnison-style rant. Steen covers him up with his metrosexual sweater.
Austin Aries is bummed that he lost his match against Chris Hero. He has a sneaking suspicion that 2005 will be his year. Well, the first half of it was anyway, but not in this company.
Jonny Storm, with a HUGE fat lip, says that next time they lock up he's taking Super Dragon's belt and giving him more than a little mark on his face.
Referees Rick Knox and Patrick Hernandez ponder the politics of their job. They hate it more than anything, what with all the interference and ref bumps. They hate how people don't appreciate how hard their jobs are. The blood in matches costs them money because referee shirts are expensive. They agree to screw the fans over by calling the matches by referee decision and counting out wrestlers early. Well, this was priceless but I'm glad they didn't do what they said they would.
Christopher Daniels congratulates Tony Stradlin for beating him. In 2005 he's going to show PWG why they should believe his gospel.
Colt Cabana had a glorious night. He kept it gangster on the Spankster. He's a winner and an overall good person in every respect.
Spanky congratulates American Dragon on his victory tonight. Dragon reminds him that he didn't win so Spanky goes over to Joe and congratulates him instead.
In the Texas Wrestling Academy Tony Stradin was in the shadow of Spanky and American Dragon. In NWA Wildside he was in the shadow of AJ Styles. In California he's been in the shadow of Christopher Daniels, but tonight he stepped out of that shadow by beating him.
Excalibur likes that the big indy stars are in PWG because they draw people to the company. There are other wrestlers in PWG however, like Human Tornado and Ronin amongst others. These are local guys who don't grab the attention of the fans. Because they cost money and don't bring money in he's going to make it his personal mission to run them out of PWG.
Kevin Steen has been stuck with El Generico since he's debuted in PWG. He can't stand being around him all the time. First he lost to him and then he lost because of him in a tag match. He begs PWG not to put him in a match with Generico again.
Chris Hero thinks tonight was his best night in PWG. He's glad he beat Austin Aries because the man doesn't like Christmas.
Santa Klaus, the jolly old yarmulke clad gift giver, checks his list to see if PWG has been good this year. PWG has been extra good in fact. He's going to give PWG a lot of gifts, and he just wants love in return. Samoa Joe is undefeated in PWG this year, and so he's getting the Snoopy snow cone maker that he wants. He then plays an ear bending song that he wrote for his friend Low Ki Klaus.
The Reference
The original X-Men comic series evolved into the Uncanny X-Men in 1978 shortly after issues began being released monthly. This show took place around Christmas. Do the math.
The 411:
My favorites disappointed a bit, but it was made up for by guys like the AXP, Steen, Generico, Hero and Aries picking up the slack. The main event is another really good match in a long line of good PWG main events. However, I hope the Super Dragon title defenses start to pick up steam, as his reign already has be disappointed. Mildly recommended. You can pick this up at Highspots.com, as it is sold out at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's website.
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