24/7 Insight: WWE 24/7 Online Match Review Part 2 (Month of April) Posted by Zach Barnett on 05.02.2006
Brock Lesnar is fed another icon and The Great Muta and Steve Austin set the record for most headlock takedowns in a match. Ever.
Welcome back, my dirtties, to the 2nd edition of 24/7 Insight. I don't know how you guys thought Backlash came across Sunday, but I was very entertained from where I was sitting in section 13, seat 4, row E at Rupp Arena. We got our new May matches up this week on WWE.com. They look pretty solid. Of course, I'll be bringing those reviews your way in the very near future. Until then, keep the feedback comin' along with your match review requests. After all, the reason for the season is pleasin'....that made no since. Also, just to clear things up, I use a 5 STAR match rating system. Now, you can all sleep better at night. On to the goodness!
WWE RAW - Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy May 12, 1997 | Approx. run time: 5 mins.
It's invasion time, bitches! Wait, that's a couple years away from this. We get the ECW music entrance from RVD as we cut in. A young Jeff Hardy awaits in the ring as the Fink announces him from….Virginia? Hmmm…thought it was Cameron, NC. Jerry Lawler is in the ring to give us our pre match verbal beatdown. He makes fun of ECW, kisses RVD's ass, and calls Hardy a Jon Bon Jovi wannabe. Thank you for that, Jerry. Lock up and a go behind into a headlock on Hardy. Whip from RVD and a split leg duck down. Nice monkey flip and nip up from RVD. Double underhook facebuster from RVD. Nice. Roundhouse kick from RVD sends Hardy to the outside. SUICIDE SOMERSAULT PLANCHA from RVD to the outside. Damn, his legs hit the guard railing and he smacked the back of his head on the concrete. Ouchies. Back in the ring, RVD lands a corkscrew leg drop. Scoop and a slam. BIG 5-star Frog Splash, but he's not done. Fall forward slam to Hardy. Very nice split legged moonsault ends this one as RVD gets the win.
Rating: ¾*
Final Thoughts: This match served two purposes, put RVD over as the anti-ECW. WWF(E) ship jumper and further whatever storyline ECW and WWF(E) had worked out at the time. Hardy had no offense, it was a squash match.
WCW Nitro - Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage April 20, 1998 | Approx. run time: 16 mins.
We enter this match as Hogan is on the outside conferring with The Disciple. Savage had just won the World Title the night before from Sting and apparently, this has to make all the N.W.O members choose sides. Hogan tells Disciple to be on the look out as he doesn't trust anyone. Lock up and a headlock from Hogan, but a whip from Savage. Shoulder block sends Hogan down and backing off into the corner. Knees to the midsection from Hogan and Savage battles back. Eye rakes from Hogan and now we get his verbal beatdown of Savage. Savage ain't nothin', he's a piece of crap. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Eye rakes and choke holds galore from Hogan. Finally, a wrestling move! Belly to back suplex on Savage. Chops to the chest meet Savage as he gets his feet and back down he goes. Hogan tosses Savage to the outside and The Disciple is all over him. Hogan now, follows him to the outside. Hogan grabs a chair and whacks Savage across the knee. Another shot by Hogan, this time to the head of Savage. Pretty stiff, Savage took it the hard way. Back in, Savage starts his comeback. Left jabs and a clothesline takes Hogan down. Hogan begs off but Savage kicks him in the midsection…and then hobbles away in pain. His leg must hurt too bad from the prior match with Sting. Then why the hell did he kick him with his hurt leg? Hogan, ever the opportunist, closes in on Savage and works the injured knee over, in the corner. Referee Nick Patrick comes in to try and break it up. He backs Hogan away, but The Disciple is over to inflict even more damage. He begins tugging down, very fast and hard, on Savage's knee draped across the second rope. It almost looks like he's "jerking him off", well with his knee any ways. Kinda fruity. The Disciple, did use to be a homosexual barber, however. More shots to the knee by Hogan. Some offense now, from Savage. Hogan backs him in the corner and Savage fights off with what Schivani calls as, a low blow. Now, I witnessed this "low blow". It looks more like he just rubbed his hand on Hogan's junk really fast. The homosexuality, continues. Hogan tosses Savage to outside. Hogan now, whips Savage with the weight belt a couple times. Back in, Hogan uses the belt to choke Savage. MY GAWD HOW ARE THIS TWO MEN STILL STANDING?!?! Yeah right. Actually, this match is pretty pathetic. Hogan hits the ropes and attempts the LEG DROP OF DOOM! Savage moves and begins whipping Hogan with his own belt. Scoop and a slam from Savage. He's going up top. Big elbow finisher finds it's mark on Hogan. Somehow, this hurts his leg again. Don't ask me how. Both men fight to get back up. Hogan is up first and he's back on the attack. SPINNING TOE HOLD OF CERTAIN PERIL! He's really cranking away at the knee of Savage. Hogan then turns it into a Figure Four Leglock. Savage sells and sells. More selling. FINALLY, he grabs the damn ropes. Thank God. Savage now, chokes Hogan in desperation. The Booty Man…errr uhh…Disciple hits the ring and lays Nick Patrick out with a neckbreaker. Now, he's all over Savage. Toss to the outside and they take turns slamming Savage's knee into the ring post. Back in, they grab the World Title. The Disciple hits the Apocalypse (Stunner) with the belt draped over his shoulder as he drops him. That HAS to make it more effective than a normal finisher! Right? Kevin Nash now runs down to the ring. Bischoff is not far behind as he grabs Nash's leg to allow Hogan and Disciple a beatdown opportunity on Nash. Disciple holds Nash as Hogan measures him up for a shot with the World Title. I wonder where this is going. Nash moves and Hogan hits The Disciple! SHOCKING!!!! Kick to the gut on Hogan and Nash sets him up for a powerbomb. Bischoff with some weak kicks, tries to disrupt Nash. Nash no sells and gives a forearm to Bischoff. Back to what he was doing, powerbomb to Hogan! He drapes Savage's arm over Hogan and tends to Nick Patrick. Down comes Bret Hart! Hart nails Nash with a title belt and then drapes Hogan's arm over Savage. 1-2-3. Whoop di fuckin' doo. Hogan is World Champ for the 100th time. Piper is down to ask Bret what the hell he is doing. Right hand from Bret takes Piper down and we're out.
Rating: ¼*
Final Thoughts: I'm being generous with the rating, too. It was boring. I for sure would have switched the channel to Raw, 2 minutes into that Main Event.
WWE SmackDown - Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit September 26, 2002 | Approx. run time: 10 mins.
Stare down with Angle and Benoit to start. Rey is ignored by both men as they continue their own little disagreement. How rude. Mysterio is pushed down to the mat by Angle. Right hand to Benoit from Angle. Mysterio, now pissed off, fires back at Angle with a head scissors takedown. Right hands from Mysterio to Benoit. Benoit whips Mysterio into Angle who catches him in a powerbomb position. Flip out from Mysterio but Benoit catches him. German attempt blocked and Angle runs into a boot. Bulldog from Mysterio to Benoit. 2 count for Mysterio. Angle, back up, tosses Mysterio out to the floor the hard way. Shoot in from Angle to Benoit and we get some nice mat wrestling exchanges. Mysterio tries to springboard back in but he's knocked off by Angle. Benoit shoots in, this time, on Angle and more mat wrestling exchanges. Another attempt at re-entry from Mysterio gets him the same result, but this time from Benoit. Angle Lock attempt from Angle. Benoit fights out of it. Mysterio, FINALLY, springboards back in over Angle. Spinning heel kick to Benoit. Drop toe hold to Angle. Charge by Angle meets the ring post and he bails outside. Belly to back from Benoit to Mysterio. Whip from Benoit and an elbow. 2 count is all. Atomic drop and a chop to Mysterio. Crisp, snap suplex scores a 2 count. Front chancery to Mysterio. Fight out from Mysterio and a charge, but he is caught by Benoit. Hard toss from Benoit to Mysterio over the top rope. Damn, he hit hard. Back in, Angle is all over Benoit. Short arm clothesline and a 2 count for Angle. Both men trade chops in the center of the ring. Whip and a reversal but Angle catches Benoit with a BIG overhead belly to belly suplex. Angle only gets a 2 count. 2 roll through German suplex's but the 3rd is blocked by Angle. Reversal by Angle and he hits his own roll through Germans. Benoit blocks the 3rd and turns him around. ANGLE SLAM from Angle. HE'S PULLIN' DOWN THE STRAPS! Springboard drop kick to the back of Angle sends him to the outside. Mysterio sneaks in for the cover on Benoit. CLOSE 2 count for Rey. He can't believe it. Mysterio is yanked outside by Angle. Angle charges with a right hand but it's ducked by Benoit. RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX from Benoit turns Angle inside out. Holy shit I love that move. Angle is dead. Benoit gives the cut throat to Angle and turns to go up top. He is met by Rey with a missile dropkick. Charge by Mysterio and Angle vaults him over the top rope and onto Benoit. Rey, lands on his feet but is sent into the barricade by Angle. Angle locks the Angle Lock in on Benoit, back in the ring. Benoit fights to the ropes but Mysterio flies in with a 619 that connects on both men! West Coast Pop blocked by Angle but Mysterio gets a sunset flip. 2 count is all. STIFF clothesline from Angle, holy shit. He fucked Mysterio up. Clothesline attempt to Benoit from Angle is turned into a Crippler Crossface! Angle is about to tap! Springboard leg drop to Benoit out of no where, breaks up the submission! Wow. CLOSE 2 count is all for Mysterio. Angle Slam attempt is spun out by Mysterio. Whip and a drop kick from Mysterio backs Angle into Benoit. Belly to back suplex over the top rope to Angle from Benoit! Charge from Mysterio towards Benoit. Benoit hoists him over but Mysterio springboards off the second rope and hits a nice hurricanrana! 1-2-3!!! Mysterio picked up the upset victory on that edition of SmackDown!.
Rating: ***
Final Thoughts: They did a hell of a job with the time they were allotted for a T.V. main event. Forget Orton, Benoit should have been the third man in the WM 22 triple threat. I can only dream of what that match could have been. Don't believe me? Watch what they were able to do here, in 10 minutes.
WWE RAW - Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker May 20, 2002 | Approx. run time: 9 mins.
We start with RVD baseball sliding Taker's legs off the ring apron upon his attempt at entrance into the ring. Plancha over the top rope to Taker and RVD fires off some right hands. RVD chokes Taker with his own shirt. Take that! Taker rolls in the ring and RVD is up on the apron. Big boot charge from Taker but RVD ducks the ropes down and Taker crotches himself. RVD with a crouched kick from the top rope gets a 2 count. Taker whips RVD and hoists him over his shoulder. Elbow out from RVD. Step over toe kick to Taker. 2 count is all. RVD clotheslines Taker over the tope rope. All RVD so far, in this one. RVD follows, but now Taker is on the offensive. Whip into the barricade is reversed by RVD and Taker flies into it. RVD up on the barricade. Guillotine leg drop across the neck of Taker. RVD follows Taker back in the ring. Shoulder thrusts to Taker in the corner and a backflip out from RVD. Charge and Taker lays him out with a clothesline. Last Ride set up from Taker. RVD fights out of it and drops Taker to the mat. Quick cover gets 2. RVD hits the ropes but is met with a big boot to the face. Taker unties the far turnbuckle pad cover. In the opposite corner, he continues to work over RVD's body with some strikes. Weak irish whip into the corner from Taker to RVD. He follows close behind with a clothesline. Beatdown in the corner is continued by Taker. He sets RVD up for the Chokeslam. Straight kick to the face of Taker from RVD. Nice. Taker backs off and RVD charges but is met with a scoop slam. Taker misses an elbow drop and RVD follows with a dropkick to the face. More work over by RVD in the corner. Spinning heel kick to Taker. Rolling Thunder!!! 1-2-3!!! WHAT IN THE HELL!!!! NEW WORLD CHAMPION!!! RVD wins the….wait…Taker's leg was on the bottom rope and the ref missed it. Gosh Dangit! I apologize for the language. GM Ric Flair hits the ring to set everyone straight and orders the match to continue. RVD is pissed and he decks Flair. I'd be pissed to if I couldn't break the glass ceiling. Taker is up and a Last Ride plants RVD. 1-2-3 and NOW it's really over. Your winner and still "Undisputed" Champion, The Undertaker.
Rating: *3/4
Final Thoughts: How dare them toy with my emotions. Putting RVD over there, for real, would have made him a mainstream star for years to come. The match was your average T.V. main event, nothing really special.
WCW Spring Stampede - Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Great Muta April 17, 1994 | Approx. run time: 20 mins.
Muta makes his entrance as we cut in to this one. He's got some nice spider attire on, by the way. Stunning Steve makes his way down next, with Colonel Parker. Thinning hair and all. Good call on shaving that shit off before it got worse. The Stone Cold gimmick wouldn't have been the same if he would've had wispy, thinning blond hair all the while stomping mud holes in people's asses. We start with a lock up and a go behind by Muta. Austin gets to the ropes quick to back Muta off. Another lock up and a headlock takedown by Muta. Austin finally breaks it off again. Quick takedown by Austin and some boots to the upper body. Charge and Muta ducks, back through and Muta locks Austin in a abdominal stretch. Austin tries to reverse to a stretch of his own, but Muta elbows him off. Another lock up. It's worth mentioning, although it's basically just reinforcing a fact, but Bobby Heenan is fucking hilarious. He asked Schivani if, Schivani spoke any Japanese, in reference to Muta. Schivani said that, he in fact only spoke a couple words. Heenan then informed him that he didn't have time to teach him any. He is the master of color commentary delivery. Back to the action, more headlocks and reversals into headlocks. Austin must only know how to say, "Headlock" in Japanese as well since, that's all they seem to be doing. Finally, some action. Belly to back suplex from Austin. Vertical suplex attempt from Austin is blocked and Muta hits his own suplex. Very nicely done. ANOTHER headlock takeover. Damn them. Whip from Austin and a duck down somersault. BIG drop kick from Muta to Austin. FUCKING SIDE HEAD LOCK TAKEDOWN AGAIN!!! He hits a move and then goes right back to it. He must not know any other transitional moves or spots. Austin bails to talk with Parker. Back in, Austin rolls Muta up with a handful of tights for a 2 count. Muta with a hammerlock, now. Muta hits the ropes, but Parker grabs his leg. Austin from behind with a knee and Muta is knocked outside. Austin with a nice beatdown of Muta on the outside. Throw into the railing and stomping. The usual. Back in, Austin applies his own abdominal stretch. Muta hip tosses him out of it. Standing brawling from both men. Muta misses a dropkick and Austin hits a second rope elbow drop. Spinning roundhouse kick from Muta takes Austin down. Vertical suplex from Muta to Austin. Missile dropkick misses from Muta and he crashes and burns all the way to the mat. Hollywood and Vine attempt from Austin (inside toehold) but Muta fights it off. Muta hits his own STUNGUN to Austin. Whip to the corner on Austin. Cartwheel and a splash from Muta. TOP ROPE HURRICANRANA from The Great Muta! Parker is up on the apron but Muta drops him with a spinning roundhouse. Austin charges and Muta backdrops him over the top rope. Oh no!!! Nick Patrick is calling for the bell. Muta has been DQ'd for tossing him over the top rope. Gay!!! This isn't USWA, for the love of God. Muta's all in fuck it mode now. Plancha over the top rope takes out Austin and Parker. We cut out with Muta looking very much like he has no idea what the hell is going on.
Rating: *
Final Thoughts: I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting more. It was obvious that they had no chemistry with each other in the ring. Too many damn headlock takeovers. Too much stalling from Muta. Blah!
WWE RAW - Brock Lesnar vs. Ric Flair July 1, 2002 | Approx. run time: 14 mins.
Heyman and Brock come down to start as Heyman begins to kiss Brock's ass real good, on the mic. Brock is the "Next Big Thing" and it's his time now. Ok, we get it, Paul E. The challenge is then laid out for any rookie in the back to come out and try his luck against Brock. Flair's music hits. He did say, rookie, right? Flair's pissed about Brock interfering in his and McMahon's match for ownerships of the Raw and Smackdown brands. He also takes this time to mention he's a legend. If you say it enough times, then everyone will eventually start believing it. Brock tells Flair he's "wrong place, wrong year, at the wrong time." Them's fightin' words! Lock up and an irish whip to Flair. Hard shoulderblock to Flair sends him on his ass. Collar and elbow tie up, and Brock again tosses Flair off, effortlessly. Test of strength from Flair. Yeah, right. Brock, predictably, wrenches Flair's hand. Flair backs him into the corner and delivers a BIG chop. WOOOOOOO!!! Brock charges an Flair hits more chops. HUGE powerslam from Brock, with authority. Big elbow from Brock misses and Flair bails. Brock follows and Flair hangs him over the top rope. No sell from Brock. Thumb to the eye from Flair. Snap mare and a knee drop to the face of Brock. Huge clothesline takes Flair down. Another one and Flair takes his face first bump. A couple of backbreakers and Flair bails again. Shit, I wouldn't want to fight Brock either. He looks like a brick wall. Outside, Flair with more chops. He whips Brock into the ring post and Brock rolls back inside. Lesnar misses a shoulder block and hits the ring post again. Charge from Flair and Brock gets a bearhug. Flair breaks it eventually, but Brock drops him with a spinebuster. Begging off from Flair! It's a trick, damn it! Low blow finds it mark on Brock. Trick knee does even more of the same damage to Brock. Belly to back on Brock from Flair! That's a big ol' boy for a 60 year old man to be picking up. Working on the knee and a Figure Four leglock from Flair! Heyman is up on the apron and Flair punches him off. He turns around right into a BIG F-5 from Brock. 1-2-3!!! Brock picks up the win on Raw over the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair.
Rating: *½
Final Thoughts: Just another wrestler they fed the lion that was, Brock Lesnar at this point in the WWE. The food of the day, just happened to be 100,000 time World Champ, Ric Flair. I'm not gonna lie, I marked out for the building of Lesnar into an unstoppable monster. Not a bad little match, for what it was.
The 411: Not much here on the back end of this month. The Triple Threat from Smackdown was kinda neat, but other than that a whole lot of nothing. Further more, I may boycott reviewing all future WCW Main Events showcased, containing people over the age of 50. I'm just sayin'.
