Your hosts are Jim Ross, Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna) vs. Dude Love.
Dude give an Austin Powers-ish interview before the match. Dude controls early with his intentionally awful offense and knocks Helmsley to the floor. He mocks Hunter's bow and goes after the arm. See, the joke is that he's a big fan of Shawn Michaels, so he tries to wrestle like him. The only problem is Mick's ass probably weighs as much as Shawn on its own, so his body just isn't made for it. Instead, it's kind of half-Shawn/half-Mankind. SWEET SHIN MUSIC—misses. Dude chases Helmsley out of the ring and gets LEVELLED by Chyna. That leads to a rope-assisted abdominal stretch. The ref catches him, triggering a shoving match between Hunter and the ref, which the ref wins! Hunter cowering from the referee is such an AWESOME spot because it gets the referee over as someone who won't take any shit, and it portrays Hunter as a bully who will crumble as soon as you stand up to him. And the great thing is that Hunter didn't just sell it as "Okay, I apologize," he was actually COWERING from the referee. Someone needs to bring that back. Dude armdrags Hunter off the top and hits SWEET SHIN MUSIC! That sets up the Kobashi Driver, but Chyna puts Hunter's foot on the rope. Dude stops to argue and gets Pedigreed at 12:49. Their third opener in 1997, and one of their best. ****
Tiger Ali Singh (w/Tiger Jeet Singh) vs. Leif Cassidy. Sunny is your special ring announcer, and she is WORKIN' those thigh-high boots. The story behind this match is actually better than anything going on in the ring. Leif (you know him as Al Snow) was an up-and-coming talent who went through a parade of bad gimmicks such as Shinobi. Finally, they gave him a semi-decent gimmick as a seventies heartthrob throwback ("Leif" from Leif Garrett and Cassidy from Shaun and David Cassidy). He and Marty Janetty teamed as "The New Rockers" until Marty got sick of how poorly they were being treated, especially when the WWF wanted to job them out to Bart Gunn in what was essentially a handicap match. Marty either got fired or quit, leaving Leif in the lurch, so the WWF jobbed Leif out at every turn until a win over Leif was meaningless. Then, in a talent exchange with Paul Heyman, Leif was demoted to ECW. So, as an ECW employee, he wasn't supposed to do jobs on WWF TV. This would be the violation of that rule, as they flew him in just to put Singh over. Anyway, this match was so bad that Leif demanded that the WWF let him go home rather than ruin his reputation any further by jobbing him to people who clearly weren't ready to be in the ring. Bruce Prichard offered him tickets, but first they wanted him to job to Brakus, which was the final straw. When Snow refused, the WWF wanted to punish him, but there was a problem – they were treating him so badly anyway, there was nothing to take away from him! They couldn't job him out. He was already a jobber. They couldn't withhold his pay because he was an ECW employee getting paid by Heyman. They couldn't fire him because he'd already asked to be let go. Anyway, the match is actually not as bad as you might think unless you were told to look for things that Tiger Ali Singh was doing wrong. Then, they're obvious. Singh botches a floatover schoolboy rollup. Leif tries to set him on top for a superplex, but Singh doesn't get his feet in the right position, so Al just tells him to finish him off. Sure enough, Singh knocks Leif off the ropes and hits a bulldog (blasphemously termed "The Tiger Bomb" by Vince) for the win at 4:02. Of course, consummate backstage politician Tiger Jeet Singh blamed Leif for the poor quality of the match. But then, we all know the divergent careers both men had after this, and reality don't lie. 1/4*
WWF Tag Team Titles: The Headbangers vs. Los Boriquas.
This is Savio Vega and Miguel Perez acting on behalf of the Boriquas, and damned if it's not a spiffy little tag match. Call me pleasantly surprised. The Bangers were just coming off their tag title win at Ground Zero and were at the peak of their wrestling abilities. They control early until Savio trips up Thrasher. Thrasher plays face-in-peril for the Boriquas offense, which is normally pretty boring, but they do a tremendous job of playing the referee to maximize the heat from the crowd. Miguel hits a corkscrew senton for two. Mosh has to make a save, but that allows the Boriquas to doubleteam Thrasher as the ref puts him out. They work in the false tag spot, and Thrasher takes another doubleteam. Savio misses something off the top, but the hot tag gets cut off. If these teams had more heat coming in, the roof would be flying off the place at this point. Finally, Savio gets suplexed, and Thrasher is able to tag out. Mosh cleans house and ranas Miguel for two. A powerslam gets two. Perez hits a Thunder Fire-ish powerbomb on Thrasher, but Mosh comes off the top with a Thesz Press to pick up the win at 13:33. Good match. The finish was a bit anti-climactic, though. ***1/4
Davey Boy Smith dedicates tonight's match to his sister.
Flash Funk vs. The Patriot.
Flash doesn't have the Funkettes with him, which just ruins the whole thing. Patriot using the same music as Kurt Angle is kind of off-putting. Both guys are babyfaces in the WWF, although Patriot's uber-Nationalist gimmick makes him a big heel. The fact that Funk has a lot of flashy moves (no pun intended) and Patriot is a power wrestler doesn't help. They do some mat wrestling early. Flash gets in a few cool moves, but Patriot stays on top with power moves. He hits a powerslam, but Funk gets a reverse rollup for two. Even Ross diplomatically notes that his offense is "basic." Patriot hits a missile shoulderblock, but it only gets two. Flash hits a nice RVD-ish twisting splash for two and goes up for the moonsault. Patriot gets his knees up and finishes with Uncle Slam (Full Nelson Slam) at 8:50. The Patriot's presence was only predicated on Bret Hart's heelishness, and so any time he tried to be just another wrestler it exposed him as…well, just another wrestler. **
The Legion of Doom vs. The Godwinns.
The announcers go off on their "the Godwinns are from the same place as Bill Clinton, so Clinton must be a filthy idiot just like these guys." Yeah, because the Texas brainiac we replaced him with has done such a good job. This is the usual LOD versus Godwinns match, which means the announcers continue to talk about other things – like Mad Cow Disease. Lawler gets in a funny line: "How does a cow get mad cow disease? Does he start out by pouting?" Phinneas hits Animal with a knee from the outside, and Henry takes him over with a clothesline. Phinneas hits the Fujiwara Armbar (!) and continue to work the arm. Wow, the Godwinss are actually working. Animal blocks something off the second rope and tags Hawk. Hawk cleans house and hits a neckbreaker. Henry hits him with the Slop Drop, though, but he plays to the crowd, and Hawk is able to kick out. The Godwinns continue to work him over, but Hawk hits a double-clothesline. Animal cleans house this time, and the LOD finish with the Doomsday Device at 10:44. Nothing too offensive. The LOD just did their normal lazy formula match, but the Godwinns seemed to have their work boots on. *3/4
Ken Shamrock who is suffering from internal injuries at the hands of the Nation of Domination is forced to the sidelines, so he won't be facing Owen Hart. Instead, it will be Vader taking on Owen. I think Vader was in the bullpen for most of 1997 because he also replaced Ahmed Johnson at Canadian Stampede. Shamrock says he was diagnosed with a punctured lung. Rockabilly Gunn struts down and complains that Shamrock is a pussy, so Shamrock takes him down and makes him tap out to the anklelock. I like how they flew Billy over to the UK solely for the purpose of being Shamrock's bitch.
Owen Hart vs. Vader.
Big face pop for Owen. Vader overpowers Owen early, hitting him with an avalanche. Owen bails but comes back with a rana. A flying bodypress gets two, and Owen goes for the early Sharpshooter. Vader keeps shoving him away, though, and counters a crucifix to a Samoan Drop. He comes off the second rope with a splash. Owen is a greasespot, but he kicks out at two. Vader spends the next few minutes nailing Owen with stiff punches and squashing him with power moves. Owen tries to slam him Vader a few times, but he can't get him up. Owen comes back with a Sharpshooter, but Vader is in the ropes. Owen actually DOES SLAM Vader and gets a big pop for it! The Vader Bomb misses, and Owen comes back with a missile dropkick. LEG LARIAT! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Owen comes off the top but gets caught and powerslammed at 12:14. This reminded me of the stuff I saw from Owen in Stampede, which is really the only comparison we have because he was a JTTS from 1988-1993 and a heel from 1993-1997, so watching him as a competent babyface is something interesting to see. ***1/4
WWF Championship: Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker.
This is the rematch from Summerslam where fans were hoping for a measure of revenge. Bret attacks at the opening bell, but Taker whips him into the buckle and chokelifts him. Bret unfurls the turnbuckle pad, but Taker attacks before he can do anything about it. Taker misses an elbowdrop to allow Bret to take over. Bret clotheslines him over the top and slingshots into a sliding dropkick. Taker catches him in a spinebuster on the outside. He rams him into the ringpost. They brawl all the way up and all the way down the aisle. Back inside, Bret nails a DDT out of nowhere. He starts choking Taker against the ropes, prompting Vince to wonder if he’s trying for an intentional disqualification. Taker reverses a whip and Bret takes the “Bret Bump” to the corner. That leads to a surfboard from the Undertaker into a Crucifix for two. Bret kicks away at Taker’s knee, but Taker responds with a backbreaker and holds Bret across the knee. Bret goes after the knee again. Taker charges in the corner but rams his own knee into the turnbuckle. Bret works the leg over and over leading to a figure-four on the ringpost. The ref makes him break it, so Bret drags Taker back to the center for a regular figure-four. Taker nearly gets counted down a few times before rolling the hold over. Bret makes the ropes. Taker staggers to his feet, but Bret stays on top, taking the challenger’s legs out from under him and spinning into a leglock. It begins. Side Russian Legsweep. Backbreaker. Taker blocks the second-rope elbowdrop, and they clothesline one another. Undertaker delivers a legdrop between Bret’s legs. A second attempt is countered to the SHARPSHOOTER! Just like at Summerslam, though, Taker powers out of it. Bret avoids a chokeslam but falls victim to a big boot and a legdrop. Hmmm. “Big boot and legdrop.” Bret tries to get himself disqualified by using the ringbell, but the Taker boots him in the face. Taker is about to use the bell when the ref snags it away from him. Taker whips Bret into the ringpost ribs-first. Ouch! Bret breaks up the Ropewalk Forearm. Bret actually tries his own Tombstone, but the Taker counters to his own. Bret slips out of that but gets caught in the “Hangman” position in the ropes. Taker refuses to stay back and let Bret loose, so the ref disqualifies him at 28:34. A very worthy follow-up to their near-classic at Summerslam. The Undertaker destroys the WWF officials after the match. ***1/2
WWF European Title: The British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels.
Bulldog has his family at ringside and his cancer-stricken sister, which makes this *such* a classy move by the WWF. Bulldog overpowers Shawn to start and clotheslines him over the top. He press slams Shawn and is about to throw him to the floor, but the ref won't allow it. Now, if he did that in every Battle Royal, he'd never lose. Finally, Shawn goes to the eyes to stem the tide. Bulldog shrugs him off and locks in a Mexican Surfboard, but his own shoulders are down, so he has to release it. Rick Rude walks down and breaks up an O'Connor Roll. Bulldog goes after him and gets knocked to the floor. Back in, Shawn grabs a sleeper hold for a while. Bulldog goes hard into the buckle. He powers up into an Electric Chair Drop, but they collide for a double KO spot. Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Chyna come back. Shawn hits a Picture-Perfect Elbow…and another. Sweet Chin Music misses, and Bulldog picks him up for a powerslam, but Rude has his ankle. They head to the floor where Bulldog's leg gets caught in the railing. That leads to Shawn superkicking him and letting Rude and Hunter have at the knee. Hunter delivers a Pedigree for good measure. Back in, Shawn takes off Bulldog's knee brace and tosses it to Diana in a mocking nod to their angle the year before. Shawn gets a figure-four with Hunter and Michaels helping out. Bulldog *still* rolls him over but takes a shot from Rude. Hunter and Chyna still help, leading to Bulldog just passing out at 22:52. The crowd practically riots, even more pissed than at the Montreal screwjob. Shawn dedicates the win to Diana Hart-Smith and puts Davey back in the figure-four. Diana finally hops the rail and goes after Shawn, so Chyna pulls her off. Finally, Bret Hart and Owen Hart run down and chase them all off. This was the death of the European title and the birth of DX, which is a good trade for the WWF. The match was even better than much of the stuff they were doing the previous year. ****
The 411: A surprisingly good show that has as many good matches as Canadian Stampede. That one had one GREAT match, though, so I'd still put it ahead of this one in terms of best PPVs of the year. It's telling, though, that the best crowds of the year were Canadian and British, not American, which owed a lot to burnout.
