BG Says: Jason takes PWG

Before I start I need to direct everyone to Shanesphotos.com. If you don’t end up buying this DVD (and as you’ll read below you probably shouldn’t) and don’t go to his photo gallery you’ll never know what Mr. Excitement looks like. In all honesty Shane does great a great job as a photographer so head on over and check out his work. Bayani Domingo also gets a shout here for being a huge PWG supporter and knowing the SoCal scene better than I could ever hope to. Check out his work here.

May 13, 2005 – Los Angeles, California

Disco Machine and TARO tackle commentary, and as usual be sure to switch the audio channel over to hear them. Excalibur is nowhere to be found, which worries Disco Machine.

VS.
El Generico VS. Human Tornado
This match stems from the six-man tag match these two competed in on the last show. The match starts with a super posedown. Tornado catches Generico with a hurricanrana to the floor. Generico comes back with a roll up for 2. Tornado hits a roundhouse kick for 2. He hits a leg lariat for 2. He hits a bodyslam and a legdrop off the second rope for 2. Generico crotches him up top with a dropkick and sets him in the Tree of Woe. He hits a dropkick for 2. He hits a backbreaker and a standing moonsault for 2. He clotheslines Tornado to the floor and follows him out with the Arabian press. Back in the ring he gets 2. Tornado’s valet gets on the apron and excites Generico enough to disctact him. This allows Tornado to hit the Pimp Slap. Generico feels the effects for longer than you’d expect. Tornado distracts the referee and hits valet this Generico with the Bronco Buster. She tries to stop but Generico won’t let her. Tornado pulls her off and hits the splits kick and the Shoryuken. He hits the Pounce and Generico falls to the floor. Tornado follows him out with a suicide dive and both men hit the wall. Back in the ring Tornado hits a springboard tornado DDT for 2. He hits a German suplex for 2. Generico hits the Yakuza kick in the corner and a side suplex for 2. He hits the brainbuster for the win at 11:23. Tornado’s offense is always fun, and that’s about all that this match had going for it.
Rating: *¾

VS.
Ricky Reyes VS. NOSAWA
They lock up and Reyes pushes NOSAWA to the ropes. They fight to the mat and NOSAWA gets a crucifix pin for 2. NOSAWA dropkicks the knee and hits a dragon screw. He hits the Shining Wizard and Reyes falls to the floor. NOSAWA follows him out and beats him around a bit before rolling him back into the ring. He jabs Reyes in the corner and steps on his crotch. He puts on a chinlock and puts on a Koji Clutch variation. Reyes gets to the ropes. NOSAWA puts on the figure 4 leglock but Reyes gets to the ropes. NOSAWA puts on a Boston crab but Reyes gets to the ropes. NOSAWA puts on a crossface but Reyes gets to the ropes. NOSAWA kicks Reyes’s crotch again but Reyes comes back with a forearm. Reyes hits a neckbreaker for 2. He hits a northern lights suplex for 2. He hits a kneedrop but walks into a superkick and NOSAWA hits a Michinoku driver for 2. He gets a roll up for 2. Reyes comes back with the dragon sleeper for the win at 10:29. NOSAWA’s association with Juggalo Championsh*t Wrestling has always made me think little of him, and this match actually dragged my opinion of him down further.
Rating: *½

VS. VS.
Scorpio Sky & Quicksilver VS. The Ballard Brothers VS. Topgun Talwar & Hook Bomberry
Phoenix Star and Zokre were supposed to be in this match… but they’re not. The Ballards attack the AXP before the bell. Hook and Talwar double-team Shane for 2. Shannon makes a blind tag and the Ballards double-team Talwar for 2. The AXP double-team Talwar as well. Quicksilver tags Talwar out and hits a forearm. The Ballards double-team Quicksilver and the match breaks down. Quicksilver hits a forearm on Hook and tags to Sky. Sky hits a dropkick and tags to Quicksilver. They sandwich Hook with kicks and Quicksilver hits a leg lariat for 2. The Ballards double-team Quicksilver again for 2. Shane hits a back elbow for 2. Talwar tags Shane out and hits a basement shoulder tackle for 2. He hits a clothesline in the corner but Quicksilver comes back with a roll up for 2. Talwar hits another clothesline and tags to Hook. Hook hits a dropkick for 2. Shannon tosses Hook to the floor and puts a chinlock on Quicksilver. Did this match really need a chinlock? Quicksilver fights out but runs into a clothesline. Shane tags in and gets hit with a crossbody. Hook tags Shane out and kicks both Quicksilver and Shane Ballard. Sky tags in and cleans house on everyone with clotheslines. Quicksilver hits a spinebuster on Talwar. He tries to dive onto him on the floor but Talwar catches him and rams him into the apron. Shannon hits a vertical suplex on Sky for 2. Talwar hits the Chipotlé on Shannon for 2. Hook hits a neckbreaker on Quicksilver but Shane hits him with a giant swing into dropkick from Quicksilver. The AXP hit the leapfrog legdrop on Shane for 2. Everyone collects in the corner for some circus shit and Sky hits a dropkick on a Ballard. I’ve forgotten which is which at this point. Quicksilver and Sky iht a dropkick/piledriver on Talwar for the win at 12:02. This was a mess and gets points only because no spots were botched.
Rating: *¾

VS.
Kevin Steen VS. Sexxxy Eddie
Eddie, like Steen, is an import from Canada. They lock up and Steen grabs a headlock. He pokes Eddie’s eyes but criss crosses for too long and runs out of steam. Eddie hits a head scissors takedown and Steen bails. Back in the ring Steen stomps on Eddie. Eddie comes back with a crossbody for 2. Steen hits a one-handed spinebuster and a backbreaker for 2. He puts on a chinlock and hits an elbowdrop. He hits an enziguiri and a double stomp to the back. He puts on a camel clutch and another double stomp to the back for 2. He hits a bodyslam but misses the somersault legdrop. Eddie hits an atomic drop and a Manhattan drop. Steen cuts off his comeback with a clothesline. They trade forearms and Eddie hits a bulldog. He hits an Ocean Cyclone suplex and a clothesline in the corner. He blocks a blind charge and hits a couple more clotheslines. He hits a reverse side slam for 2. They fight to the apron where Eddie knocks Steen to the floor and hits a moonsault press. Back in the ring he hits a missile dropkick for 2. Steen hits a swinging back suplex for 2. He hits the somersault legdrop for 2. Eddie gets a roll up for 2. Steen hits a forearm and sets Eddie up top. Eddie fights him off and hits the Five Star Porn Splash for 2. He sets Steen up top and goes for a hurricanrana but Steen slips away and Eddie gets crotched. Steen kicks out his knee and kicks his face. He hits a moonsault for 2 and then debuts the Steenalizer for the win at 14:52. Steen looked good, Eddie looked a little shaky, I’ll split the difference.
Rating: **½

Excalibur and Super Dragon come out to the ring to express their frustration over the actions of Evil Red Super Dragon 2. Excalibur reminds us that the evil red bastard cost the real Super Dragon the PWG Championship (I don’t recall that). He demands that number 2 come out and face the real Dragon in a Guerrilla Warfare match. In a shocking move Excalibur attacks Dragon from behind and hits the Tiger Driver ’98 on him. Excalibur gets on the microphone and says the company is called PWG, not PWSD. Dragon gets all the title shots while Excalibur and Disco Machine are stuck in the openers. SBS is just Super Dragon and two other guys and he’s sick of it. He brags that he knows who Super Dragon Red is but he won’t tell. He tells referee Rick Knox that he’ll be facing Super Dragon in the Guerrilla Warfare match right now!

VS.
Super Dragon VS. Excalibur [Guerrilla Warfare Match]
Disco Machine is very upset about this turn of events on commentary. Excalibur maintains his pre-match advantage by bashing Dragon over the head with the chair. He gets 2 with a cocky cover. He dumps Dragon to the floor and whips him into rows of chairs. He whips Dragon at the wall but Dragon runs up it and hits a moonsault press on Excalibur. That was very cool. Dragon hits Excalibur with a chair shot to the back. He puts a ladder in the ring and then hits Excalibur over the head with a chair. Back in the ring Dragon puts Excalibur’s head between the ladder’s legs and double stomps the ladder. He hits the Curb Stomp with Excalibur’s head in that same position and then hits the ladder with a chair. That’s gross but it only gets 2. TARO tries to lift the mood on commentary but Disco is too distracted by watching his two best friends kill each other. Dragon goes after Excalibur’s mask and then blocks a blind charge. Excalibur whips Dragon hard into the turnbuckle and throws a chair at his face. Dragon rolls to the floor so Excalibur follows him out with a topé con hilo. Back in the ring he jabs Dragon’s chest with a chair for 2. He puts on a camel clutch and hits crossface forearms. He hits a tombstone piledriver on a chair for 2 with a very cocky cover. He puts on the leggy nelson and hits a chair shot to the back of Dragon’s head for 2. He sets Dragon up top but Dragon fights him off and hits a senton bomb. He hits a running chair shot to the face for 2. He sets up the ladder in the corner but Excalibur catches him with a low blow and hits a running Alabamaslam into the ladder. It gets 2. Disco comparing the broken ladder to his broken heart is priceless. Excalibur goes for a diving headbutt but Draogn blocks it with a chair. He hits a German suplex, a dragon suplex and a tiger suplex for 2. He puts a chair on Excalibur’s chest and climbs the ropes. Excalibur cuts him off with a chair shot and hits a German Spiderplex for 2. He comes off the second rope with a chair-assisted double kneedrop for 2. He goes for the Tiger Driver ’98 but Dragon counters to the Supernatural Driver for 2. He sets up a chair for the double stomp that won him his Guerrilla Warfare match against Scorpio Sky but Excalibur dodges it. Dragon hits a pair of lariats and a chair shot for 2. Dragon hits the double stomp on the chair again but Super Dragon Red runs out and keeps him from covering Excalibur. He kicks Dragon down and unmasks to reveal that he is in fact KEVIN STEEN. He hits the package piledriver and brings a table into the ring. He sets it up as Excalibur climbs the ropes. He feeds Dragon to Excalibur who hits the Tiger Driver ’98 onto the table for the win at 21:19. Disco Machine’s commentary alone made this a great match, but the action was pretty amazing as well. It really was just spot-kick out-spot-kick out-spot etc., but it was fast paced and consistent enough to be very entertaining.
Rating: ***¾

After the match Disco Machine runs out to check on Super Dragon. Excalibur tells him to “come home” but Disco stays with Dragon.

VS.
Chris Bosh & Scott Lost © VS. Disco Machine & Mr. Excitement [PWG Tag Team Championship Match]
Before the match Bosh prophetically gloats about running Kazarian out of PWG, but promises he can come back and get beat up again in six months when WWE releases him. Creepy. Mr. Excitement is replacing Excalibur, who Disco isn’t cool with anymore. SoCal Val makes sure that the match remains a tag title match. Bosh and Disco start. Bosh hits a shoulder tackle and then just stands there. The break in action goes on for a while. Disco hits a hiptoss and a dropkick. Excitement and Lost tag in. They do a Mexican standoff and Mr. Excitement strikes Lost down. Disco tags in and hits a knee in the corner. Mr. Excitement does the same. Disco hits an elbowdrop and Mr. Excitement hits a legdrop. Disco hits a snap suplex for 2. Lost comes back with a low blow and Bosh runs into hit a backbreaker. It gets 2 for Lost. Bosh tags in and hits a fisherman suplex for 2. He puts on a hammerlock and hits a fistdrop. Lost comes in and hits a vertical suplex for 2. He drops Disco ribs-first onto Bosh’s knee. Bosh hits a bodyslam for 2. He sunset flips Disco into his knees for 2. Lost tags in and gets hit with an enziguiri. Mr. Excitement and Bosh tag in and Mr. Excitement cleans house. He hits a clothesline on Bosh and slams Lost onto him. He elbows both men and then hits both with an elbow off the bottom rope for 2. He hits a running forearm on Bosh but Lost catches him and crotches him on the middle rope. He hits the Superman Spear and Bosh hits the uppercut to the groin for 2. Lost tags in and hits the One Inch Punch on Mr. Excitement. He hits a spinning axe kick for 2. Disco and Mr. Excitement come back with stereo Uncle Slams. They hit stereo exploders for 2. Disco tags in legally and hits a straight jacket piledriver for 2. Mr. Excitement hits a backdrop driver on Bosh and Disco sets Lost up top. Disco hits a super Chokebreaker on Lost for 2 when Joey Ryan pulls the referee out of the ring. Ryan hits Mr. Excitement with a tennis racket shot and a superkick on the floor. He hits Disco’s back with the tennis racket and then runs in and helps Bosh hit a Hart Attack backbreaker for 2. Bosh and Lost hit the northern lights suplex/backbreaker combo for the win at 16:05 when Ryan keeps Mr. Excitement from getting back into the ring. This was better than I thought it’d be considering the aged team of ex-retirees. The Arrogance overbooking was actually made the match more fun than it would have been without it, which is what overbooking should do when done right. Bosh shoves his bare ass in the “retarded” fans face on his way to the back.
Rating: **¾

VS.
PWG Champion AJ Styles VS. X-Division Champion Christopher Daniels [Title VS. Title Match]
Take a wild guess as to how these two would want to get around the fact that neither can lose. They lock up and fight to the ropes. They fight over a wristlock until Daniels pushes Styles to the corner. Daniels starts in with the pie facing so Styles comes back with a takedown to put him in his place. Daniels gets into it with a fan to remind us who is representing PWG and who is representing TNA here. They knuckle up and Daniels powers Styles down for 2. They fight on the mat where Daniels uses the ropes for extra leverage on a front facelock. Styles gets to the ropes to break. The camera pans into the crowd where Johnny Fairplay is shown shouting at Styles. The commentators crap all over him. Daniels puts on a wristlock but Styles counters to the head scissors. Daniels counters to an armbar and then floats into a headlock. They challenge each other to run for shoulder tackle attempts and then play Rock Paper Scissors to decide. Styles loses so he calls for 2/3 before winning two straight rounds to settle it. Daniels, bound to run by the rules of Rock Paper Scissors does so, but then bails. Back in the ring Styles puts on a headlock. Daniels counters to an armbar but Styles gets a takedown and slams Daniels’s face into the mat repeatedly. Daniels bails and stalls for a while. He gets back in the ring and Styles decides to bail. COME ON! Back in the ring Daniels grabs a headlock. Styles counters to a hammerlock and then puts his headlock back on. He opens up with jabs but Styles comes back with a dropkick. Daniels bails and stalls some more. Back in the ring Styles puts on a leglock. Daniels quickly gets to the ropes. He tries to punch Styles into the corner but Styles powers away and then bails. This is nonsense. The commentators note that we’re almost a half hour in and I’d be remiss if I didn’t note that almost no actual action has occurred in this match. Daniels puts on a chinlock and slams Styles to the mat. He hits a kneedrop but Styles fights back and hits a backbreaker. Styles hits a series of bodyslams for 2. He puts on a chinlock and I contemplate never watching wrestling again. Styles hits his swinging backbreaker for 2. He kicks Daniels to the floor and follows him out with a baseball slide. He rams Daniels into the wall and kicks his back. Back in the ring he gets 2. He goes back to the chinlock and holds it FOREVER before Daniels gets to the ropes. Styles hits a vertical suplex for 2 and then just sits there. You have got to be kidding me. He hits a backbreaker for 2. He puts on a Mutalock but Daniels rolls over to escape. He bails so Styles follows him out and rolls him back in. Daniels pulls the referee in front of him to keep Styles from diving and then hits Styles with a neckbreaker onto the middle rope. Styles falls to the floor so Daniels presses his head into a chair. Back in the ring Daniels hits a kneedrop to the back of the head and goes back to the chinlock. He hits a neckbreaker for 2. He stays on the neck but Styles counters a back suplex to a crossbody for 2. Daniels hits the Complete Shot into the Koji Clutch but Styles counters to a pin for 2. He puts on a triangle choke in the ropes but the referee makes him break. He puts on a hammerlock but Styles fights out and hits a powerbomb. He hits a pair of clotheslines and a back suplex. He hits the inverted DDT for 2. He hits a brainbuster for 2. Daniels blocks the Styles Clash and the nip up hurricanrana and catapults Styles into the turnbuckle. He hits a scooping half nelson suplex and a neckbreaker for 2. Styles hits a leg lariat and Daniels Bbails. Styles dives out onto him and rolls him back into the ring. He climbs the ropes but Daniels ducks a crossbody attempt. Daniels hits the uranage and the triple jump moonsault for 2. Styles hits the Pelé Kick and both men are down. They trade chops in the corner with one minute remaining. Styles goes for the Styles Clash but the time limit expires before he can even hit the move. I have a lot to say about this one.

Every clichéd way of burning up time was used here and quite obviously at that. I can’t imagine that anyone in that crowd hadn’t figured out five minutes in that the match was going to go the distance. It’s not like Daniels has traditionally stalled in PWG and it’s not as though Styles has kept his opponents on the mat in this company. The amount of inaction in this match was actually depressing at times. When they weren’t in a go-nowhere headlock they were kicking and punching without rhyme or reason. The higher impact moves that did occur did so between long stretches of stalling and casually walking around the ring. Why not have a better match and end with a double pin or a double disqualification? I’m tempted to give this no points because these two should know better and I haven’t been so frustrated watching a match in a long time. I hate to ramble but all the action in this 60 minute match would have fit into a 10 minute match. Daniels’s neck work didn’t lead anywhere interesting (like say, to put Styles down when he’d be making a comeback) because there was never a string of offense long enough from either guy between the long stretches of resting to build drama. I absolutely cannot believe that two guys with this much talent could put on such a stinker for such a long time. Watching this match was like riding a bicycle in first gear for an hour. That’s one boring way to spend an hour. I’ll give them credit only because they didn’t do anything embarrassing aside from sleepwalk through a 60-minute match.
Rating: **

The idiot fans thank them for the load of crap they were just given. Daniels gets on the microphone and says he could go another 5 minutes. Why bother? It’s not like either of you got close to winning the match. He then shouts in a manner not understandable to human ears, but I think we are to assume he was just kidding and won’t continue the match. Styles gets on the microphone and challenges Daniels to a rematch anytime, anywhere. Daniels refuses, so Styles says he’s happy as long as the fans got what they paid for. How can these morons applaud this charade?

Highlighting the knife on the main menu will reveal the following backstage shenanigans
Human Tornado and El Generico celebrate the match they just had with Tornado’s new valet. They drink their pimp juice and decide to party over the success of tonight’s match. I wonder how happy they’d be if they’d actually had a good match.

Dino Winwood accosts one of the Ballards for playing the Mike Meyers Halloween music on the piano instead of the Jason Voorhees Friday the 13th music.

Sexxxy Eddie cuts a sexual innuendo laden promo about losing to Steen tonight. He’ll be back and win next time and probably have sex too.

Disco Machine and Mr. Excitement talk about their loss tonight. Mr. Excitement is really mad at Joey Ryan for interfering. Disco Machine doesn’t think that Excalibur can finish the war he started with Super Dragon. Well, considering that Excalibur is in the driver’s seat so far I think his odds are as good as anyone’s.

Excalibur and Kevin Steen reflect on the night. Excalibur talks about the history of the SBS. Before PWG Super Dragon was all about kicking ass for the fun of it. Now that PWG is around Dragon books himself in the main events for the titles against the biggest import names. He says that Dragon’s focus on fame made him forget his friends in SBS, and right around the time that started happening Kevin Steen entered the company. Steen talks about wanting to take Super Dragon’s spot so much that he tried to become Super Dragon. He beat everyone in the company until he faced Super Dragon and then lost to him twice. The next time they face off El Generico won’t get in his way and he’ll have Excalibur in his corner. Then he can become the new Super Dragon of PWG. Excalibur announces that SBS is reforming as a three man team. Right now it’s just the two of them, but Excalibur still wants Disco Machine to join them. Steen warns that Disco will die if he refuses.

The 411:  First things first, it’s worth noting that Excalibur’s commentary was sorely missed. TARO is worse than garbage compared to him. The show starts off in a really bad place with three lousy matches. Steen’s win over Eddie gave me hope for some quality on this show. Then the Guerrilla Warfare match and the preceding and proceeding goings on really entertained. There’s no doubt that the issue between Super Dragon and Excalibur & Kevin Steen is now the top angle in the company. That’s a good thing too because the main event was such a bomb that this show would have easily been the worst in the company’s history had the Guerrilla Warfare match and accompanying angle not occurred.

Final Score:  4.0   [ Poor ]