411’s TNA Impact Report 9.13.07

TNA Impact Begins…NOW!

-Highlights from No Surrender air.

-The Coalition arrives and JB is with them. Cage is here to take care of problems, and his name is Matt Morgan. He stuck his nose into the champ’s business, and if he wants to be the muscle fine, he’ll find out tonight. Cornette already told him he would face Joe again at Bound for Glory. Cage also told Cornette to find the biggest and baddest Samoan around, Afa, Siki, Don Ho, it doesn’t matter because he will make an example out of him.

-Tenay and West welcome us to the show, and hype Angle vs. Abyss in the 6-Sides of Steel match.

-Karen Angle makes her way to the ring. She can feel the love in the air tonight, and she wants to introduce the man that, “worked his sweet little butt off and is still the TNA Champion, my sugar daddy Kurt Angle.” Sting arises from the Angle-Lift and he says he doesn’t blame Angle, he would have done the same. It was her that cost them the titles, he doesn’t want an apology because it would mean nothing. He wants her to tell the truth. She says after she was hit she lost some memory. She says Sting hit her very hard. Angle is on the ramp now, Sting goes after him and Angle was hiding a chair under the American flag. He absolutely kills Sting with the chair, and then again and then rolls him into the ring. Angle pulls out the TNA weapon de jour the handcuffs, handcuffs Sting to the ropes and lays the boots to him. Angle has the mic and says Sting embarrassed his wife by slapping her and that next month at Bound of Glory, in Atlanta where he won the Gold medal and Sting became an ICON in WCW, he will embarrass the hell out of Sting by breaking his ankle or even his neck. Kurt tells Karen to slap Sting, she does repeatedly, Sting spits at her and then Kurt. Kurt beats him down some more for that.

-Back from commercial and Tenay and West discuss the Angle vs. Abyss rematch. Abyss is putting his career on the line in a submission, six sides of steel, non-title, Abyss will leave TNA if he loses match.

-JB is with Abyss. Abyss says that tonight is not his last match, but it will be Angle’s last breath. Click. Doomsday. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.

Black Reign w/RAT vs. Shark Boy

Sharky is too good for this. Black Reign gets a neck breaker as Sharky comes in. Corner clothesline by Black Reign. In the corner, rights by Black Reign. Bulldog connects. Picks him up, gets the Schizophrenic (suplex/neck breaker deal) for the win.

Winner: Black Reign @ 1:00 via Pin

-Black Reign grabs the Darkness Falls hand, spike, staff deal and nails Sharky with it. He takes the mask off of Sharky, puts the rat in the mask ala Missing in Action, but Eric Young makes the save and covers Sharky’s face.

-Crystal is with Team Pacman. They told the world and now they are the champs. They say that Atlanta is Pacman’s stomping grounds, and AJ and Tomko are in trouble. Pacman starts to speak and all of Ron Killing’s charisma is amazingly sucked out of the room, as if Pacman was a dementor from Harry Potter. It’s funny how that happens.

-Back from commercial

NON-TITLE MATCH: Black Machismo Jay Lethal © w/Guru Dutt vs. Christopher Daniels w/Skipper and Senshi

Daniels attacks before the bell, but Jay is ready and gets jabs and rights, Daniels to the floor. Suicide dive by Jay connects. Back in the ring and Daniels backs off, boots by Jay and the hip toss and cartwheel dropkick combo connect for 2. Side headlock by Jay, off the ropes and a tackle by Daniels, and that gets a cover for 2. Daniels gets a sleeper now, elbows by Jay and slams Daniels to the corner. Irish whip and a boot by Jay, and then missed the 2nd rope leg lariat. High knee by Daniels, DVD CONNECTS! 1…2…NO! Off the ropes again, BLUE THUNDA DRIVA by Daniels gets another close 2 count. Jabs by Jay, clothesline connects and another. Elbows now, and Daniels flops down ala Flair. Knee lift, and the Macho hangman by Jay. Enziguri followed by a superkick gets a close 2 for Jay. Jabs again, elbow by Daniels and a uranage connects. BEST MOONSAUTL EVER connects! 1…2…NO! To the corner, Daniels sets Jay up on the 2nd rope, Senshi distracts Jay, and Daniels blocks the Lethal Combo and gets the Last Rites and the pin.

Winner: Christopher Daniels @ 4:55 via pin

-JB hypes the Text Service. He is with Jim Cornette and they hype Bound for Glory. There will be a 15-Man, REVERSE BATTLE ROYAL for a title shot, an Ultimate X match with XXX vs. LAX, Joe vs. Cage, Angle vs. Sting, a Women’s Gauntlet and more! Cornette then tells Matt Morgan to behave and not to hurt any wrestlers tonight.

Larry’s Note: Why would they bring back the worst match of 2006 in the reverse battle royal? Also, this is the perfect example of the best and worst of TNA. They announce that, and THEN announce an Ultimate X with XXX vs. LAX. How can a company be simultaneously so BAD and so GOOD at the same time? Seriously TNA, I mean, really TNA, really TNA, seriously? Wow. Just wow.

-Back from commercial and the Coalition is in the ring. Cage calls out Matt Morgan and here he comes. Cage wants to have a chat with him. Cage says that at the PPV he wrestled Joe, and Joe realized that he can never beat Cage. So Joe went and got himself disqualified on purpose. And then after taking out 10-guys, he hung me by my gorgeous neck. Now that brings me to you, I run this shot. I know you work for Cornette, but when you see the marquee attraction, you do not wait for 5-minutes to show up to stop it. Right now you will get a crash course in being the muscle. It is going down right now. Joe hits the ring and spears Cage. Morgan tosses AJ to the floor, Cage escapes and Joe tosses Tomko to the floor. Morgan gets the mic and says that HE will be the special enforcer for the Bound for Glory rematch of Cage and Joe. Cornette is out and says he made the decision. That way Cage cannot get away with his shenanigans. And since Cage made his Samoan Challenge, here is your opponent for next week. Junior Fatu, who may be fatter than ever.

-We get a video package for the main event tonight.

SIX SIDES OF STEEL – NON TITLE – I QUIT – IF ABYSS LOSES HE LEAVES TNA MATCH: Kurt Angle © vs. Abyss

They slug it out to begin, and Abyss tosses Angle into the cage. Again by Abyss and they get a great shot of Angle blading himself, great work TNA production. Off the ropes and a spinebuster by Abyss. Abyss with a Boston Crab now, that’s new. Angle looks to tap, but crawls for the ropes. Shouldn’t tat be a moot point in a cage match? Rights by Abyss, Irish whip, reversal and we get a REF BUMP. Angle kicks Abyss in the junk, which drops even a soulless, albeit reformed beast like Abyss. Angle climbs the cage; Abyss follows and pulls him down a bit. They battle on the top rope, and Abyss gets a superplex on Angle. We head to a commercial @ 3:50.

Back from commercial @ 8:20 with Angle doing a run up the ropes moonsault! Rights by Angle now, I see that there is a random chair in the ring somehow. Angle stomps away at the legs of Abyss, Angle gets the chair, but Abyss punches it in to the face of Angle. Angle fights back, rights by Abyss now and he takes Angle down. Off the ropes and a press slam by Abyss. Shock treatment try countered and Angle gets the Ankle lock! Abyss crawls, then rolls and Angle slams into the corner. Abyss now locks in the ankle lock. Smoke comes from under the ring and the blade cuts through. It is Judas Mesias, spitting blood with a barbed wire noose. He starts to choke out Abyss and Angle retreats for a no contest, wrap your head around that.

Winner: NO CONTEST @ 11:55

-He now has a chair and nails Abyss. Another chair shot and then gets a flatliner to Abyss onto the chair. Mesias gets a black bag of fun and lays out the glass. He grabs a piece and cuts the arm of Abyss. He then cuts the other arm. Abyss is bleeding a good bit here, again. Mesias stands tall over a bloody Abyss. And now he decides to beat on him some more.

TNA NO SURRENDER PODCAST~!

After a bit of a delay we are back to discuss the TNA No Surrender PPV, a hell of a little show with good wrestling, new champions; but still some of the bad of TNA. We then move onto one of our most popular segments, DEAR CHRISTI, where Christi muses more on Women’s Wrestling. We’ll also talk with Christi about her first full MMA experience, and finally, what you have all been waiting for, an update on THE SHIRT~!

DOWNLOAD HERE!

If that doesn’t work, copy and paste the following link into your browser and you’ll be fine: http://www.sendspace.com/file/0cxdst

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 4R’s!