The Furious Flashbacks – NWA Starrcade 85

The Furious Flashbacks – NWA Starrcade 85

The Gathering

This is off WWE 24/7 so you know it’s really shit hot quality. That’s easily the best thing about the WWE right now. That tape library is to die for. I could get lost in their tape archives for a few years. If the WWE ever wanted a guy to just sit and catalogue what’s on tapes. Just type out what happens that would be my job. Hell, I’d probably take $30K a year! I’m cheap!

After the disastrous main event of Flair v Rhodes in 1984 they decided it’d only be fair to have them do the match over again and get their Starrcade moment one year on. So it’s once again Flair v Rhodes with the NWA title on the line. But this is a really ambitious show from the NWA and they’re not only in one venue with that main event but they’re in TWO venues foreshadowing the WWF’s Wrestlemania 2. Speaking of the WWF, 1985 marked their first Wrestlemania. They’d had significant success so the NWA was now under pressure to deliver a massive show. Of course Vince tried to one up the NWA by having Wrestlemania in 3 locations in early 1986. But that’s Vince McMahon for you. While Vince put on small cards in three venues the NWA put out a full card in two venues here. Which is why it’s an outrageously long show.

We’re in Atlanta, Georgia. Hosts are Bob Caudle & Tony Schiavone. Tony has a pimp 80’s moustache. A bit like the one The Tick had in “that moustache feeling”. We cut to Johnny Weaver and his terrible mic skills in Greensboro, North Carolina where he’ll be giving us updates. One of their two main events is Tully-Magnum TA in a cage. Yeah, THAT match.

NWA Mid-Atlantic title – Sam Houston v Krusher Khrushev

Houston is obviously the babyface with the emphasis on baby. He looks about 13. Krusher is the America hating generic Russian heel. He’s been in the business about a year by this point but would go on to huge fame as one half of Demolition because it’s Barry Darsow. Houston is Jake Roberts’ half-brother and his younger sister is Rockin’ Robin. Rasslin’ family! Krusher dominates with power here but Houston is fast as well as small and the crowd dig every time he dodges something. Krusher swings with punches but Houston keeps ducking and weaving. Houston does early flipping stuff and gets a headscissors takeover into a headscissors. Krusher, like the underhanded devious commie bastard he is, cheats at every opportunity grabbing hair and tights like a woman at the January sales. Houston jumps over him and hits a dropkick into an armdrag. DRINK! Krusher with a big Farewell and the crowd are concerned about Sam’s health and then HATE all over Krusher for doing the move in the first place. It genuinely looked dangerous. I don’t remember many Farewell’s back in 1985. Krusher presses him and dumps him on his face again. Houston kinda has a Ricky Morton vibe about him here. “USA” – Atlanta. Krusher goes up top but Houston dropkicks him off. Running bulldog but Krusher is saved by the ropes. Houston, like a moron, celebrates the victory and gets nailed with the lariat. Amusingly his foot is also on the rope as the 3-count goes down but Krusher smartly sweeps it off. HAHAHA. Awesome. **1/2. Fun opener. Nothing overly exciting but the crowd loved it.

Abdullah the Butcher w/Paul Jones v Manny Fernandez

This is a Mexican deathmatch, which is basically a sombrero on a pole match. And people think stupid gimmicks started with Vince Russo. It’s weird that someone as over as Manny basically spent about 6 years in the majors, 3 of those in Puerto Rico and then just disappeared into the Indies forever. There must be some sort of reason as to why he just didn’t get to that next level. This is a deathmatch so Abby’s spike is legal. The ref isn’t even in the ring! Manny blades heavily inside of a minute. That is a gusher, folks. Manny is desperate to keep Abby at a distance and kicks at him but Abby is so strong he can’t get any joy. He does manage an insane MONKEY FLIP though on the 460lbs Abby. Paul Jones totally freaks out. Manny takes off his boot and waffles Abby with it. I see Manny is going REALLY easy with those boot shots as to not piss Abby off. Abby is opened up and we have ourselves a really bloody match. Manny takes his belt off, wraps it round his fist and hammers Abby with it but that REALLY pisses Abby off. Elbow drop misses though and Manny clotheslines him with the belt. That always looks stupid. Manny goes for a suplex and hits it to a huge pop. Abby must have really liked Manny to take all these bumps for him. Abby gets a measure of revenge by punching Manny in the groin as he climbs for his hat. Manny is motivated though and hits the Flying Burrito. That leaves Abby down but the superfly splash misses. Both these guys have made huge mistakes while on top. Abby falls out of the ring and Manny grabs his hat to win. **. Extremely bloody and Abby was actually looking motivated and taking bumps and shit like that. Who saw that coming?

BACKSTAGE Johnny Weaver gets a word with Krusher who has nothing in terms of Russian accent. He blames prejudiced American referees for anytime the Russians lose. He says they’re out here for one thing; retain the titles and put the Rock n Roll Express out of commission. That’s two things. He says Sam Houston has no chance of getting the title. He won it two months later.

Ron Bass v Black Bart w/JJ Dillon

This is a bullrope match. Former tag partners until Bass turned face. If Bass wins he gets a 5 minute bullrope match with JJ. Interesting spot of trivia; Black Bart trained Necro Butcher. Bass seems to understand the concept of the bullrope match better than Bart and uses the cowbell to give him a beating. MORE COWBELL! I got a fever and the only cure is more cowbell. Bart blades as Bass continues to smack him in the face with that cowbell. Bart gets a measure of revenge by carving up Bass’ forehead. This show sure is bloody. Bass clocks Bart in the head with the bell much harder than before and we get a great CLUNK noise out of it. Someone appears to have switched Bob Caudle’s mic off. So we only get Tony and his commentary alone sounds like soundbites. It’s like watching a video game. Bart gets backdropped over the top and that gets the crowd very excited. Bass uses the rope to hold Bart up so he can repeatedly punch him. JJ is starting to get a bit stressed out. Bass uses the rope for a crotching spot. Another cowbell shot; CLUNK! He’s certainly using the environment to his advantage. CLUNK! This time Bart stays down and Bass wins it. *1/2. Lots of blood and cowbell shots but not much else.

Ron Bass v JJ Dillon

Bass is tired and has lost some of his blood. JJ jumps him from behind and beats him with the bell. JJ goes to the choking, which puts him mentally one step above the other two guys who didn’t think of that. Bass looks pretty angry. JJ is so startled he tries to run away but of course he’s tied to Bass by the arm. Now the ass whomping begins and the crowd are loving this. CLUNK! MORE COWBELL! Bass does the ‘hold the guy in place for many punches’ spot. CLUNK! Ref got nailed on the back swing so Black Bart jumps back in to piledrive Bass. He throws JJ on top and Dillon gets the upset win. *. Also fun with a hot crowd.

Superstar Billy Graham v The Barbarian w/Paul Jones

Barbarian has been around for 5 years as a pro but this is the start of his big push in Paul Jones Army. Graham comes out to a weird version of The Final Countdown. Weird fact for you here; the participants real first names are Eldridge and Sione. Superstar is 41 by this point in his career and he’s looking old. This is sadly an arm wrestling match. I can’t believe any arm wrestling contest has ever gotten over. Graham wins via having taken more “Python Powder”. Jones is so upset he nails Graham in the head with his cane. MORE BLOOD! Shocking. Barbarian wails away and we have an actual match to follow on from the arm wrestling. Ah, ok. I’m good with that. Graham looks for a bearhug but Barbarian just knocks him over. Flying headbutt misses though and Billy takes advantage by putting the boots in. BORE-HUG! Jones has seen enough and jumps in for the DQ . Graham gets a measure of revenge with a cane shot. ½*. A fine example of why steroids are a bad thing.

NWA National Heavyweight title – Terry Taylor (c) v “Nature Boy” Buddy Landell

Kinda cheeky having Landell use Flair’s gimmick on the undercard to a Flair main event. From some angles he even looks like Flair. He stops to make sure his hair is looking nice. WOOOO, waita minute! Taylor takes exception to the mimicry and bitchslaps him. Taylor blocks some punches and hits his own. It looked really good too. Tony keeps plugging the Bunkhouse Stampede, which is getting quite annoying. Taylor works at the arm. Crowd are less thrilled with this slower bout with young guys than the previous matches. Landell gets a lot of control time and hits surprisingly big moves like punches and clotheslines. He’s basically wrestling like a face even though he’s heel. He’s being very showy. JJ comes out to ensure he gets more heat on him. I love how Tony has to explain what a superplex is. Ah, the olden days. JJ jumps on the apron as the ref is bumped. Heels collide. HUGE pop for that. Taylor starts throwing elbows and he looks for the superplex. JJ swipes the leg away though and Landell falls on top to win the title. **1/4. Landell’s punches were great. He actually won me over in this match. I’d only seen later Landell in the WWF 1995 where he was washed up and fat. Here he looked good as Taylor.

National Tag titles – Minnesota Wrecking Crew (Ole/Arn Anderson) (c) v Wahoo McDaniel/Billy Jack Haynes

Haynes hadn’t long come in here but was about to get in a fight with Jim Crockett that saw him shipped off to the WWF. He later burned his WWF bridges as well proving himself to be a complete idiot. He later still worked as a mule transporting cocaine. He attacked his employer because he believed he was underpaid and nearly got jailed for it. The man is a fantastic fool with no concept of how the world works. He thinks he’s being robbed all the time. Anyway, this match starts out really hot with Wahoo getting big crowd support and the Andersons selling like crazy to put over his chops and whatnot. Double A is especially entertaining. If Arn stopped selling and just spinebustered everyone (both his opponents, Ole, the ref, the ring announcer, the cameraman, members of the audience) I would mark SO hard. If someone did a comp tape that was just all of Arn Anderson’s spinebusters I’d watch it. The Andersons work at Wahoo’s arm to try and negate his chopping. Say, the Andersons working over someone’s arm? That might just catch on. Haynes jumps in there because he’s seen enough but that just allows the Andersons to bust Wahoo up double team style. The Andersons tag team work is brilliant. Even when Arn gets in trouble he grabs the leg and ensures there’s no tag. Ole isn’t as good and Haynes gets a tag. Wahoo wants right back in though and chops away at Arn for 2. The Andersons again use double teaming to isolate Wahoo. The best part being Ole sweeping the leg from on the floor and then holding it so Wahoo can’t kick out. Arn gets the pin. **3/4. Good formula stuff with the Andersons showing great continuity.

BACKSTAGE Johnny Weaver has JJ & Buddy Landell. They’re both happy because they won. Weaver is a terrible interviewer. He can’t get through a single sentence without having that look on his face where he’s thinking about what his next word will be. JJ calls himself the uncrowned champion of the bullrope match.

Cage/I Quit/US title – Tully Blanchard (c) v Magnum TA

Done the match before on Best of Starrcade 83-87. Here’s the PBP. This is a real brawl to start with them just knocking 7 shades of hell out of each other. TA gets caged and gigs on the way down. TA with a press slam into the ropes though levelling the US champ. Tully comes battling back and they continue to just beat the crap out of each other. TA goes to work on Tully’s arm/shoulder by caging it and Tully BLADES HIS SHOULDER. Ewwww. TA goes after the injury and in between Tully punches him in the forehead drawing more blood. Tully gets the mic to ask TA if he wants to quit – “SAY IT, SAY IT”, “NO” and Tully batters TA in the head with the mic. Tully climbs the ropes and axe handles TA in the head. Tully with the mic again but again TA refuses to quit so Tully punches him in the eye with the mic. TA gets riled up and fights back. TA gets the mic and waffles Tully with it but can’t get him to quit. Tully goes to the eye again to get TA off him. TA gets the mic but Tully kicks him in the arm to get rid of it. Tully grabs the mic and cracks TA in the head again but can’t get him to quit. Tully gets pissed off and bumps the ref. Baby Doll throws in a wooden chair. Tully breaks it so he can get a spike of wood and goes to jab TA in the face with it. TA knees him in the ribs to break it but gets the spike and JABS TULLY IN THE EYE WITH IT. Tully has no choice but to quit at 14.10. ****1/2. Man, was that ever brutal. They just beat the shit out of each other for 15 minutes. Note on the eye attack – it looked to be just around the eyebrow and drew a lot of blood but isn’t right into the eye like some folks like to exaggerate.

Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton/Dennis Condrey) w/Jim Cornette v Jimmy Valiant/Ronnie Garvin w/Big Mama

Midnight Express has been around for a few years under the team as it stands. Originally Randy Rose teamed with Condrey. When Dennis disappeared from JCP in 1987 he was replaced by Stan Lane. That’s the version most people fondly remember. This is an Atlanta Street Fight although the Midnights street gear consists of tuxedos. Oh, and Ronnie Garvin is in drag entitled “Miss Atlanta Lively”. I couldn’t make this shit up. The Midnights happily sell all the goofy babyface shit and Condrey blades. I should have had a gig count on this show. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show with so much blading. Not only that but this entire match the ring is covered in powder because they’re just throwing it at each other constantly. It looks like a party at Marty Jannetty’s house. The Midnights try to strip Miss Atlanta, which is a recipe for disaster. Ronnie is doing a fine job of wrestling in high heels though. Cornette waffles her/him with the racket shot, which is fantastic. Eaton is bleeding all over the place too. And I think Valiant may even be busted open too. Yep, he sure is. The show is the most colourful in the history of major promotions. I think I can safely say that. Garvin catches Eaton with a forearm smash and the “street people” win it. *. Really stupid but with lots of heat. Cornette gets stripped down to his boxers after the bell. Oh and Garvin was busted open too! That’s 4 more bladejobs. Time to tally these up I think!

BACKSTAGE TA gets interviewed. He says the belt is back where it belongs. You have to think if TA didn’t get hurt in that car crash he’d have gone on to great things.

GIG COUNT – Eleven! 11 bladejobs on this show so far. Wow. Imagine that happening on a WWF show?

NWA world tag titles – Koloffs (c) v Rock N Roll Express

I’ve reviewed this before as well. Rock N Roll’s are really, really over. This is also a cage match. Outside are Don Kernodle and Krusher Khruschev. Morton predictably sells to start with before dropkicking Nikita. Crossbody on Ivan as he comes in gets 2. In comes Gibson with a dropkick and a knee drop for 2. Morton comes back in with a fist drop for 2. RnR’s keep making fast tags. Ivan gets caged a lot and Morton axe handles him off the top rope for 2. Ivan blades after another trip into the cage. Gibson in but he gets hot shotted into the cage. The tide has turned and Gibson plays the Ricky Morton role here. Tony makes the interesting point of “it’s no DQ, they don’t have to make tags” but they are and have been for 10 minutes. Gibson bleeds after a trip into the cage. Gibson hits a dropkick to a massive girly pop but the ref is knocked down in the process. Morton makes the blind tag and rolls Ivan up for 3 at 12.19. ***. Decent if somewhat uninspired. Finish seemed a bit abrupt. Ricky Morton runs away like a coward post match leaving Gibson to be hammered by all 3 Russians.

GIG COUNT – 12 thanks to Gibson adding his blood to the canvas.

NWA title – Ric Flair (c) v Dusty Rhodes

Different to last year as the crowd is more pro-Dusty as Atlanta isn’t Flair Country so much as Greensboro. Done this one before too. Here’s the PBP complete with the usual Dusty Rhodes abuse. Dusty slaps at Flair with quick strikes sending him outside and the crowd wild. Flair comes back in to sell some elbows. I make use of the lengthy lulls in this one to hum Dusty’s “He’s a common man” music from his WWF stint. Flair gets in control meanwhile and kicks at Dusty’s knee. Dusty is selling a foot injury sustained at the hands of Arn Anderson. Dusty hits a load of elbows coming back in before going to work on Flair’s knee. Flair tries for a suplex but sells the knee in the process and Dusty reverses into his own suplex. Back to the knee from Dusty and he’s well in charge. Flair escapes and puts on a sleeper but Dusty runs him into the buckles. Outside and Dusty posts the knee. Back inside and Dusty misses with an elbow drop. Flair climbs but gets thrown off. Figure 4 attempted by Dusty but Flair kicks him off injuring Dusty’s foot in the process. Flair smells blood but Dusty kicks Flair off the Figure 4. Touché. Flair stays on the leg though by stomping the ankle. Dusty gets Flair in a whip allowing Flair to do his corner bump. Outside and Flair is posted. Back inside and Dusty falls onto Flair for 2. Flair is bleeding from the posting so Dusty goes after that. Flair does his corner bump with run but that gets a Dusty right hand. Dusty goes for a kick on the ropes but hurts his own foot in the process. Flair goes to work on the injured leg like an evil bastage. FIGURE 4! Tap, you fat bastard, TAAAAAAAP. Dusty turns it over before Flair voluntarily breaks. Flair chops away but Dusty no sells. It’s like some bulbous Hulk Hogan ate his way into the ring! Pie assisted elbows from Dusty gets 2. Unfortunately Dusty’s leg gives way under his humongous weight. Ref gets bumped while Dusty puts the Figure 4 on. Arn Anderson runs in and he eats some fat elbows so Ole Anderson runs in as well and the future Horsemen have done a number on Dusty. He still kicks out. Presumably because he smells pie and rolls Flair up for 3. Oh, you don’t remember it that way? The ref actually called for a DQ when the Andersons came in although we don’t find that out immediately. *** is your rating.

GIG COUNT – 13. Flair’s bleeding during the main event gives us a baker’s dozen on the bloody scorecard. Fantastic.

BACKSTAGE Tony congratulates Dusty for his big title win. Dusty claims he’ll be champion for a long time because nobody can beat the people. Of course he doesn’t know yet but he’s not actually the champion but he did get to win the belt the following summer.

The 411: I’ll go thumbs up because you have the great TA-Blanchard match on here. Elsewhere nothing really hit the higher gear that you might expect. Flair-Rhodes especially although it was miles better than in ’84. The huge amount of blood on this show makes it an early contender for the bloodiest show, ever. I’m sure ECW or some other garbage loving company has had bloodier nights but probably not in front of quite so many people. It’s bladejob heaven out there.

Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]