BG Says: PWG Hollywood Globetrotters
Posted by Brad Garoon on 01.22.2008
People abandon their parents all the time. It's a sad throw-away culture we live in.
March 4, 2006 – Los Angeles, California
Disco Machine and Dino Winwood tackle commentary, and as usual be sure to switch the audio channel over to hear them. Quicksilver and Topgun Talwar also pop in to give their two cents.
VS. Alex Koslov VS. Topgun Talwar
Tits McGee has gained a lot of weight since the European shows. Koslov hits Talwar with a dropkick before the bell. Talwar comes back with a head scissors takedown. He hits a pair of armdrags and knocks Koslov to the floor. He follows him out with a crossbody. Koslov kicks McGee around and crotches Talwar on the top rope. He throws McGee onto Talwar and then kicks her to the floor. He hits a kneedrop on Talwar for 2. He puts on a chinlock but Talwar escapes. Koslov tugs on Talwar’s thong and hits a back suplex for 2. He goes to the eyes and chops Talwar down for 2. He goes back to the chinlock but Talwar escapes and gets a roll up for 2. Talwar kicks Koslov into the referee and forces the referee to give Koslov a DDT. He clotheslines Koslov in the corner and hits a seated shoulder tackle for 2. Koslov comes back with a dead lift German suplex for 2. He climbs the ropes and comes down with a dropkick for 2. He brings McGee into the ring and hits Talwar with a vertical suplex. He puts McGee onto Talwar and climbs the ropes to hit a splash onto both of them for 2. He rips McGee’s head off and kicks her into the crowd! In his rage Talwar hits Koslov with the Chipotlé for 2. He goes for the Dangah Zone but Koslov counters to the Russian legsweep and puts on the Cobra Stretch for the win at 9:04. Not a bad opener at all. The comedy was entertaining, as was the action.
VS. Scorpio Sky & Human Tornado VS. Disco Machine & Nemesis
Before the match Sky complains that the same three guys (Kevin Steen, Chris Bosh & AJ Styles) are getting PWG title shots over and over again. Because he never gets one himself he’s going to have a lady fan rub oil on his abs to make him feel better. A red-faced lady with a tucked in t-shirt obliges him. Tornado then pranks Scorpio in the same way I pranked Matt Merriweather in ceramics class in high school, by leaving him hanging on a jumping high five. Sky and Nemesis start. They trade holds and Sky hits a hurricanrana. Nemesis comes back with a backbreaker. Disco tags in and hits a back bodydrop. Nemesis comes in and flips Disco onto Sky for 2. Disco admits on commentary how awful the spot looked. Tornado tags in and hits a dropkick. He hits a monkey flip and a basement dropkick. The Pounce is blocked and Disco hits a dropkick. Disco hits a snap suplex for 2. Nemesis tags in and walks into a lariat from Tornado after a cheap shot from Sky. Sky tags in and puts on a chinlock. He hits a dropkick for 2. Tornado tags in and hits the House Party for 2. Sky tags in and goes back to the chinlock. He hits a kneelift for 2. Tornado tags in and helps Sky double-team Nemesis for 2. He hits a vertical suplex for 2. He kicks Nemesis’s back for 2. Sky tags in and hits an abdominal thrust. Nemesis comes back with a shamefully telegraphed neckbreaker. Disco and Tornado tag in. Disco cleans house with bodyslams. Sky dodges a dropkick and stomps on Disco’s head. Tornado hits a back suplex for 2. Sky dives onto Nemesis on the floor. Tornado goes for a dive but Disco cuts him off with a clothesline. Jade Chung climbs the ropes but Disco spanks her to bring her down. Tornado lifts her up and helps her hit Disco with a head scissors takedown. Tornado follows Disco to the floor with the Wall Dive. Chung dives off the top rope onto everyone. Back in the ring Sky hits Disco with a forearm. He hits a neckbreaker for 2. He and Tornado go for the Doomsday Device but Nemesis crotches Sky and Disco gets a victory roll on Tornado for 2. Nemesis hits the X-Factor on Tornado for 2. He hits Sky with the Death Penalty for 2. Tornado hits Disco with a leg lariat and Nemesis with a Yakuza kick. He hits Disco with the Pounce and Nemesis with DND. Sky brings a chair into the ring and hits Nemesis with it. Disco kicks Tornado into the chair (in an awful looking spot) and pins him for the win at 17:54. This was a total mess.
After the match Sky calls out the fans for chanting “what” in a promotion that it doesn’t belong. He dresses down Tornado, calling him a loser and a weight on his shoulders. Tornado says that without Sky’s bad influence he could have been the Rock of So Cal. He wants to walk away from Sky, but instead he’s going to beat him up. He calls for Commissioner Dino to make a match between them at the next show official.
VS. B-Boy VS. Frankie Kazarian
They trade holds to start. Both men bail, so you know this match is going long. After the stalling nonsense they lock up on the floor and trade wristlocks. They go through a typical hold sequence on the floor as the referee shouts at them to get back in the ring. B-Boy catches Kazarian back inside with a gutbuster and a dropkick. He hangs Kazarian over the bottom rope and hits a senton. He ties him up in the corner and kicks his gut and back. He puts on a seated abdominal stretch but Kazarian fights out. B-Boy hits a pair of gutbusters. He slugs Kazarian down for 2. He puts on the Regal Stretch but Kazarian fights out. Kazarian hits an enziguiri. He hits the momentum kick. He sets B-Boy up top but B-Boy fights him off and hits a double stomp to the gut. B-Boy climbs again and hits another double stomp for 2. He puts on the body scissors but Kazarian gets to the ropes. Kazarian ducks the Shining Wizard and clotheslines B-Boy to the floor. He follows B-Boy out with a plancha. He comes off the apron with a blockbuster to the floor. Back in the ring Kazarian hits an atomic drop and a neckbreaker for 2. He puts on the Mark Nulty Special but B-Boy gets to the ropes. Kazarian hits a bodyslam and a springboard legdrop for 2. B-Boy comes back with an overhead suplex. He hits a dropkick in the corner and pulls him out with a powerbomb for 2. He hits the Complete Shot into the corner. He hits a fisherman suplex for 2. He climbs the ropes but Kazarian cuts him off with an enziguiri. Kazarian climbs up after B-Boy but gets stuck in the Tree of Woe and B-Boy hits another double stomp. Kazarian comes back with a stunner out of the corner for 2. He drops B-Boy on the ropes and hits a bicycle kick from the floor. He comes back into the ring with a slingshot DDT for 2. He hits the Wave of the Future for 2. B-Boy blocks a second attempt and hits an enziguiri. Kazarian puts on a very strange (almost Tazmission-like) chokehold but B-Boy gets to the ropes. B-Boy hits the Shining Wizard. They fight to the apron where Kazarian hits a reverse tombstone piledriver. It takes him a while to get B-Boy back in the ring and he doesn’t immediately go for a pin. He sets B-Boy up top and hits the Flux Capacitor for 2 when B-Boy turns over into a crucifix pin for the win at 25:17. At this point if B-Boy isn’t being groomed for something bigger than I’m going to be incredibly annoyed by his crazy long matches. The psychology was there and the match flowed better than most B-Boy matches I’ve seen, so credit will be given where it is due. I didn’t care for the finish as B-Boy had taken a ton of punishment but I guess Kazarian was believably exhausted enough to fall victim to that roll up.
VS. El Generico & Quicksilver VS. Scott Lost & Chris Bosh [Number One Contenders Match]
Both of these teams lost to the tag champs in the European shows’ main events. Before the match Bosh complains about Super Dragon humiliating him in England. I think he’s referring to the post-match beating he and Lost received. He also challenges Caped Fear to make the match a “Suck My C**k” match. Quicksilver accepts. Lost hits Generico with a leg lariat before the bell. Bosh tags in and beats Generico down in the corner. Lost tags in and hits a vertical suplex for 2. Bosh tags in and puts on a chinlock. Lost and Quicksilver tag in and Quicksilver hits a springboard clothesline. He hits a forearm and a leg lariat for 2. Generico tags in and hits a double axe handle. He mounts and punches Lost in the corner for 2. Lost goes to the eyes and tags out. Bosh runs into an armdrag and a leg lariat. Generico dropkicks the back of his head for 2. Bosh blocks the Yakuza kick and Lost keeps Generico from springing off the ropes. Bosh hits a thrust kick for 2. He bites Generico until Quicksilver makes the save. He puts on the Purple Nurple but Generico responds in kind. Bosh blocks the Yakuza kick again and hits the Chris Bosh Special. Lost hits a spinning kick, getting 2 for Bosh. Lost tags in and hits a Manhattan drop. Generico dodges the Superman Spear and tags to Quicksilver. Quicksilver hits a slingshot kick and an elbow. He hits a standing moonsault on Bosh and an enziguiri on Lost for 2. He dumps Bosh to the floor, tricks Lost to the floor and hits him with a moonsault press off the apron. Bosh climbs the ropes and hits a swinging DDT onto the apron. Generico hits Bosh with a DDT after diving through two sets of ropes. Back in the ring Quicksilver pins Lost for 2. Quicksilver hits Lost with a backbreaker and Generico follows with a guillotine split legged moonsault for 2. He climbs the ropes and hits a big splash for 2. Quicksilver tags in but a crossbody is countered to a gutbuster. Lost hits another gutbuster and tags to Bosh. Bosh pins Quicksilver for 2. Quicksilver tries to spring off the ropes but Bosh brings him down into a backbreaker. Quicksilver puts on the Cristo as Generico sends Lost to the floor and follows him out with an Asai moonsault. Bosh gets to the ropes. Quicksilver hits the Snow Plow for 2. Generico tags in and gets caught with a stunner. That gets 2 for Bosh. He climbs the ropes and hits Generico with a sunset bomb. Lost follows that with a flying elbowdrop. That gets 2 when Quicksilver saves. Generico hits Lost with the Yakuza kick and the Half & Half suplex. Quicksilver hits the Quick Qrusher on Lost for 2. Bosh clotheslines Quicksilver out of the ring. Joey Ryan comes in and gets in Bosh’s face before casually hitting Generico. In doing so he cost Bosh the match by disqualification at 15:20. This was mile-a-minute fun. There were no botched spots but the finish was crap. I expected little going in (though I don’t know why) and ended up loving this.
After the match Super Dragon runs in and attacks Bosh from behind. He and Ryan put the boots to Bosh. The commentators are stunned that Dragon and Ryan would work together, but are relieved when they start brawling with each other. Ryan takes a powder and Bosh grabs Dragon from behind and hits a neckbreaker. Commissioner Dino liked the match but says a disqualification finish is no way to decide the number one contenders, nor is it a way to decide which team should give oral sex to the other. Generico and Quicksilver disagree but Winwood says there will be a rematch next month. I dig it.
Frankie Kazarian gets on the microphone in the ring and has some words for the commissioner. He reminds Winwood that he main evented the first PWG show, was the first champion and the first two-time champion. He never got a rematch after losing the belt to Super Dragon. Despite the fact that he’s pretty much become a loser in PWG he wants to be named the number one contender now. Dino refuses. Kazarian gets a little threatening but Dino stands firm on the grounds that he lost to B-Boy tonight. Kazarian doesn’t care and still wants to be the number one contender. He grabs a chair and says he won’t leave the ring until Dino changes his mind. Dino threatens to suspend him if he doesn’t get out of the ring. Kazarian responds by kicking Winwood low, shoving him to the mat and vowing that he will force him to do what he wants. To nobody’s surprise Winwood suspends him.
VS. Chris Sabin VS. Alex Shelley
Shelley puts on a wristlock to start. He controls on the mat until Sabin gets to the ropes. They thumb wrestle into a secret handshake, showing how well they know each other. They trade armdrags in a lightning-fast exchange until Shelley hits a Manhattan drop. He climbs the ropes but Sabin catches him with a dropkick on the way down for 2. He hits a dropkick to the back for 2. He puts on a stranglehold and then pins Shelley for 2. He hits a vertical suplex for 2. Shelley comes back with a dropkick to the face. He gets a takedown and hits a Lionsault for 2. He puts on a reverse surfboard but releases when Sabin doesn’t tap. He hits a northern lights suplex for 2. He hits a bodyslam for 2. He puts on a chinlock but Sabin comes back with a stunner. Shelley cuts off the comeback with a dropkick for 2. He puts on the cravat but Sabin fights out and hits a Yakuza kick. Shelley hits a backbreaker but can’t hit Sliced Bread #2. Sabin hits a leg lariat. They slug it out until Shelley hits a spinning leg lariat. Sabin sets Shelley up top and hits a hanging stunner. He hits a Tree of Woe dropkick and a Spiderbomb for 2. Shelley misses one enziguiri but hits his next two attempts at the move. He hits the Complete Shot and puts on the Border City Stretch. Sabin gets to the ropes. Shelley kicks Sabin’s back. He sets him up top but Sabin fights him off and hits a missile dropkick. Shelley pops up and hits a superkick but Sabin stands strong and hits a back suplex. He hits a springboard swinging DDT for 2. He hits an enziguiri but Shelley comes back with a slingshot DDT. He hits a brainbuster and climbs the ropes. He hits a frog splash for 2. He hits a dragon screw but Sabin blocks a superkick. Shelley gets a sunset flip for 2. They trade roll ups until growing fatigued. Sabin kicks Shelley around and hits the Cradle Shock for the win at 18:11. The finish kind of came out of nowhere but the match was the quality encounter that you’d expect from these two. No wonder they make such a good team.
Evans cleans house with kicks to both opponents. He hits a double jump hurricanrana on Richards. He hits a bodyslam and a standing phoenix splash for 2. He hits a handspring elbow but Richards catches him with a DDT. Dragon tags in and puts on the Mexican surfboard before dropping Evans back onto his head. Richards is upset by the violence of that move. It gets 2 regardless of Richards’s feelings. Richards tags in and puts on a stranglehold. He leans back with it and Dragon hits a double stomp off the top for 2. Dragon tags in and hits the Curb Stomp. Richards tags in and gets 2 when Strong saves. Evans blocks a brainbuster and tags to Strong. Strong chops Richards all around the ring. Richards blocks a blind charge and hits a springboard missile dropkick. Strong catches him with a backbreaker for 2. He hits a bodyslam and throws Evans into a 450 splash on him for 2. He and Evans drape Richards and Dragon over the middle rope before he flips Evans into a double stomp for 2. They set up for Skipping a Generation but Dragon and Richards slip out of position and Evans double stomps Strong by mistake. Evans hits the STO on Evans and Dragon follows that with another Curb Stomp. They hit a double stomp/standing shooting star press combo for 2. Strong keeps them from double-teaming Evans any longer. Evans hits Dragon with a reverse hurricanrana and follows him to the floor with a springboard 450 splash. Strong blocks Richards’s shooting star press with his knees and hits the gutbuster. He hits the Sick Kick, getting 2 for Evans. Richards hits Strong with the D.R. Driver. Evans hits him with a flipping Rude Awakening and climbs the ropes. Dragon catches him in mid-air and powerbombs him into Richards’s lungblower for the win at 32:53. That was the perfect finish for this match. Strong and Evans got very little offense in. I don’t really understand why we needed to see a thirty minute semi-squash of what was one of the best teams in the world at the time, in the matches defense the last ten minutes were astounding. Imagine how could it could have been had it been a more even match.
Highlighting the EXTRAS button on the main menu will reveal the following backstage shenanigans
Kevin Steen plays with a basketball while pouting about losing his title match. He draws a vagina on a piece of paper representing Joey Ryan’s tactics in title matches. He’s not done going after Ryan and the PWG World Championship. Next month he’s getting through B-Boy in a number one contender’s match to get to Ryan.
Commissioner Dino Winwood tries to talk faster than the Micro Machines spokesman. It would have been funnier had he not dropped Micro Machines’ name as a sponsor. Apparently he started talking fast because he got into Topgun Talwar’s stash.
Joey Ryan calls himself “the draw”. That’s pretty much it.
Quicksilver approaches Steen backstage. He needs help understanding El Generico. Steen translates Generico’s varied body language for Quicksilver. The segment ends with Generico teaching Quicksilver how to dance. I could use more segments like these and less like Ryan’s.
Really strong show this time around. Everything after the mess that was the Scorpio Sky tag match is great stuff. I wasn’t wild about the European shows, but this is a great return to form for PWG. Should there be a rematch between the tag champs and Generation Next in a more even match it will make this show all the more significant.