The Furious Flashbacks – WCW Bash at the Beach 96

Posted by Arnold Furious on 04.19.2008

Everyone always talks about the turn but where’s the props for the Steve McMichael v Joe Gomez bout?

The Furious Flashbacks – WCW Bash at the Beach 96

Everyone always talks about the turn but where’s the props for the Steve McMichael v Joe Gomez bout?

Well this one is a biggy. It was the one show I was irritated I’d not got around to reviewing and the one show I feel sums up WCW’s success more than any other. It was the show where Eric Bischoff’s vision really started to come into being. The undercard was coming together and the main event scene was about to be set in stone for about 3 years. We are on the cusp of greatness. We are on the cusp of the New World Order. At this point it was being referred to as the “Hostile Takeover”. It seems crazy in retrospect but everyone thought they were working for the WWF to start with.

We’re in Daytona Beach, Florida. Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan & Dusty Rhodes. They’re all very nervous ahead of the main event and the mysterious 3rd man.

Psicosis v Rey Mysterio Jr

Mike Tenay joins us to give us the history lesson. Rey goes after Psicosis’s leg with a half crab and Psicosis reverses into an Oriental crossbow. Rey gets out and goes back to a cross armbreaker. Psicosis gets out and counters the stretch. This continues until Psicosis goes into the ropes. Lucha switches at speed and Psicosis boots Rey outside after a quebrada press missed. Psicosis with the SUICIDE DIVE. You can pause this on the DVD and see how high he gets. Awesome. Back inside and Psicosis drops a leg for 2. He tries to wear Rey down with a Cobra clutch. Tijuana Jam gets 2. Rey gets guillotined on the ropes and clotheslined down for 2. Rey does the Misawa fake but Psicosis posts himself. DIVING RANA OFF THE APRON from Rey. WEST COAST POP gets 2. Rey dropkicks the knee and works a leglock. Psicosis is tied up in the ropes and dropkicked for 2. Psicosis counters and works a triangle hold. Psicosis sends Rey FLYING into the ropes chest first. Inverted DDT and Rey bails. Psicosis turns nasty and drops Rey on the rail face first. SENTON TO THE FLOOR!!! Psicosis is loco, amigo. Back inside – ENZIGURI gets 2. Camel clutch applied. Psicosis fish hooks the mouth. Oh – you evil bastard. Psicosis goes after the arm and he’s not really focusing on one body part. 619 fake. Cartwheel spinning rana. Tasty. Psicosis on the apron and Rey hits a springboard dropkick. Psicosis on the apron and Rey dives off the top rope and RANAS PSICOSIS TO THE FLOOR. Whoo. Arabian press gets 2. Rey dropkicks Psicosis in the back of the head a few times sending him outside. TWISTING ASAI MOONSAULT AND REY HITS THE RAIL ON THE WAY DOWN. Rey tries for a springboard rana on the way back in and Psicosis counters into a SIT OUT POWERBOMB FOR 2. Psicosis does his upside down corner charge. SUPER SPLASH MOUNTAIN – COUNTERED ON THE WAY DOWN INTO A RANA for the pin. ****1/2. If it weren’t for Psicosis and his weird psychology, or lack thereof this was the maximum snowflakes. Great match and everything was pretty crisp. Add some selling and psychology in there and you’d have an all time classic. As it is it still rules. You might want to see this.

BACKSTAGE Konnan gets interviewed. He talks about facing Ric Flair and how he’ll be cautious of Flair’s entourage. He promises to clothesline any woman that comes in the ring in Flair’s defence. TASTY!

Carson City Silver Dollar match – Big Bubba w/Jimmy Hart v John Tenta

What the heck is a Carson City Silver Dollar match I hear you ask? It’s a sock of coins on a pole match is what it is. Tenta is now devoid of gimmick and looking a lot slimmer than I remember. The pole incidentally doesn’t look even remotely secure and both these guys are somewhat on the husky side of things. Basically both guys are way too heavy to climb it so that fucks the entire concept of the match. Tenta does create a new move; the atomic drop onto the turnbuckle, though. Tenta decides he can’t climb the pole so he decides to remove the pole instead. Meanwhile Bubba chokes him with his belt. This really is a whole lot of nothing. Bubba channels Brutus Beefcake and tries to cut Tenta’s hair. That backfires because Tenta goes low and uses the scissors to cut the belt preventing further abuse. He goes to try and cut the pole free but Bubba is back up and he hits a spinebuster. He realises he can’t climb the pole and up goes JIMMY HART. Climb, Jimmy, climb! This is brilliant because that pole is SO high and so dangerous looking. Jimmy has the sock o’ coins but Tenta slams Bubba and steals the coins off Jimmy. He socks (pun intended) Bubba with it for the pin. ½*. That was pretty terrible but watching Jimmy Hart climb the pole was strangely amusing. Tenta throws the dollars over Bubba’s face leaving him with one on each eye. Well, that’s enough to pay the ferryman into the next life. And by next life I mean the next defection to WWF when he became Big Bossman again.

BACKSTAGE Gene Okerlund has the WCW team for the main event; Savage, Sting and Luger. Okerlund wants to know who the 3rd man is. Savage says he doesn’t care because he’ll hurt whoever it is. Luger says they’re prepared for any eventuality. Savage does some comedy butting in. Sting says the unknown makes him nervous but they’re pumped up and ready. Savage continues his interruptions cracking me up every time. There should be a Randy Savage promos tape out there. I’d watch it on a loop for days.

Taped fist match – Diamond Dallas Page v Jim Duggan

DDP is still a heel but he’s got the exact same character he had post face turn later in the year. I assume the taped fist match allows punches to be legal. I like the crowd chanting “USA”. Because DDP is from that foreign country of New Jersey. Of course no one had heard of Jersey south of the Mason-Dixon before the Sopranos so I can forgive that. DDP sensibly brings extra tape with him and tapes Duggan’s legs to the ring post. Heenan chips in with this gem; “why shouldn’t legs be together, his eyes are together”? Dusty replies with an assortment of gibberish. I recognised “lollygagging” from the movie Bull Durham “Ya lollygagged down to first” etc. DDP gets dominated whenever Duggan is healthy but DDP clips him with a jumping armbreaker and that allows him to control with some cheating. DDP goes up top but gets crotched and faceplanted by Hacksaw. HOOOOOO! Duggan gets crotched on the ropes though and the Diamond Cutter finishes! SELF HIGH FIVE! *.

POST MATCH Duggan, like the well behaved babyface he is, lays DDP out with a taped fist. You see a taped fist is so much more dangerous than a normal fist because you’re not just punching someone with your fist but also with a roll of tape. So it’s twice as powerful.

BACKSTAGE Mean Gene gets words with the Giant, Kevin Sullivan and Jimmy Hart. They’re taking on the Horsemen later. This is a cool visual because you have three guys that are about 5 foot tall and then the Giant standing next to them and he’s like 2 foot taller than all of them. It really sells his size to the audience. Giant says that Sullivan isn’t a weak link. He’s the backbone of the Dungeon of Doom. He reminds us he’s the world champion and he always will be. Yeah, about that Paul…

ELSEWHERE Crappy Z-string interviewer Lee Marshall gets a word with the Horsemen (well, Arn & Benoit). If this were a WWF program that’d just be Arn. Handicap match! I would find it amusing if Benoit was just cropped off the side of the interview. And then it clips ahead every time he appears. He claims to be “silent but violent” in this interview, which surely he can’t be because he’s speaking.

Dog Collar match – Nasty Boys v Public Enemy

Tony says he’s never seen a tag team dog collar match. Yeah, well that’s because you don’t watch ECW. If I was caught on camera dancing to Pubic Enema’s entrance music I’d have to kill myself. As much as I hate them I think I may hate the Nasties even more. At least PE has Ted Petty. This heads right out to the floor and we get a pretty wild brawl for WCW. Although nowhere near the Cactus Jack level stuff from 1993/94. We get a split screen so we can see both sets of beatings. Dusty gets in a great “they’re fighting on the beach” line in. SHAAAAAAAAAARK! Oh wait, its inflated. Looked deadly. “He’s got a surfboard” screams Tony. There’s some serious plunder going on. Petty uses the lifeguard station and dives off it. Knobbs goes crazy with a chair. Petty goes up the lifeguard station again but Saggs learned from last time and pushes it over. Grunge finally gets around to using the chain and he whips away. We have a table too. Saggs with a fucking piledriver on the floor. That’d do it. For some reason we get no pin at all. Saggs dives onto that table and then gets splashed through it by Petty. Meanwhile Knobbs has a near fall. Petty bashes him with a trashcan. Another table heads into the ring and Petty lays Saggs on it. Up he goes but Saggs pulls him off and Petty bounces off the table. HARDCORE~! Saggs decides he’ll try to break it instead and elbow drops Petty off the top, weakly, and the table remains unbroken. By my count that means the table wins the match. Neither team can break it. Oddly enough that lack of breaking killed the crowd. Petty gets the chain caught round his leg on an Irish whip. That looked dangerous. They then hang Grunge and whip Petty into the chain and that’s the finish. **1/2. Messy but fun. Especially considering the sheer amount of lousy wrestlers involved in it.

POST MATCH Saggs finally manages to break that table by falling through it. The brawl continues for a while.

BACKSTAGE security is around to ensure we don’t have any attacks from the Outsiders. Gene Okerlund was going to interview one or the other but neither guy is interested in talking to him.

Cruiserweight title – Dean Malenko (c) v Disco Inferno

This isn’t perhaps the most inspired of match up’s. Disco was still a joke character while Malenko was an emotionless machine. Malenko gets a few flips in, which he lost after the neck injury. Deano breaks out a textbook brainbuster for 2. The commentators thought it was over and by all rights it should have been. You get the feeling Disco is more upset about his hair getting messed up than anything else. Malenko is relentless and nails a back suplex before going to town on the leg to set up his finish. Disco has got NOTHING so far. He tries a reversal but Malenko counters into the Brisco corner roll for 2. Anything Disco has Malenko has a counter for it. Disco decides to make it into a fight instead and starts landing punches. Malenko has never been much of a brawler so this is Disco’s opening. Of course the cruiserweight division doesn’t really feature much brawling but this is something Malenko isn’t entirely prepared for. Malenko just grabs him and takes it to the mat. Again Disco fights back with punches because that was working before. Disco manages a fluke neckbreaker (called a jawbreaker by Tony) but he can’t get Malenko away from the ropes. Disco with another neckbreaker and he stops off to dance but then realises he should be pinning the guy. Malenko grabs him and looks for the finish, realising Disco is getting too much offence in now, but Disco counters into a roll up for 2. Tiger Driver into the Texas Cloverleaf and that’ll do it. Disco quits in short order. ***1/4. A fine match with Disco using whatever strengths he had before Malenko just picked him off with superior grappling. This is the kind of thing wrestling doesn’t do enough because Disco learned from his loss and he’ll come back stronger.

Joe Gomez v Steve McMichael w/Debra

Mongo is a Horseman. Gomez is a scrub. Therefore this is a really straightforward job match. Which begs the question; why is it even on the PPV? Mongo has the decency to sell for Gomez a little but Mongo is too strong. Gomez getting carried away busts Mongo’s lip. Mongo goes blatantly low. Just end this already. It drags on for another five minutes or so. Mongo nearly gets a sleeper but Gomez jawbreakers out. Mongo hits the Rude Awakening for 2. Come on, just end this. No one gives a shit. They fuck up a near falls sequence. Why is this still going? Mongo eventually gets the Tombstone for the win. DUD. Piece of shit match. Two guys who had no business being in a singles match. Gomez is a nobody. Pointless having this on a PPV. They obviously thought Mongo was going places because this was only his third match but he got eclipsed by the more popular Goldberg eventually.

BACKSTAGE Okerlund interviews Ric Flair and his womens. Woman hits on Gene Okerlund. Flair WOOO’s a lot.

US title – Konnan (c) v Ric Flair

See this is a mismatch but you’d think that Flair is above the belt. Flair has Miss Elizabeth & Woman as his valets. Only WCW could turn Liz. Of course Flair, as well as the Horsemen, are sort of tweeners by virtue of feuding with the heel Dungeon of Doom. Basically outside of the Outsiders angle WCW had a lot of guys that they weren’t really using and just lumped them together in weird feuds. Tony suggests that Flair is in the best shape of his career. Oh, I very much doubt that. He’s a freak of nature and has an amazing capacity to work but his best years were behind him come 1996. Flair gets in some of his trademark chops. Konnan can’t get the Surfboard courtesy of him not being strong enough and Flair not being able to sell it. Konnan starts getting sloppy with some half hearted offence. Konnan tries to go up top but Woman shakes the bottom rope so much that he eventually falls off. Flair pokes him in the eyes. Erm, ref? Woman runs in and kicks Konnan in the balls to a HUGE pop. DQ? Anyone? Looks like its “fuck Konnan” rules this evening. Flair throws him out to Woman to gouge at the eyes some more. Flair isn’t really taking advantage of this litany of cheating. Konnan comes firing back and Flair starts taking his trademark bumps. Konnan springboard dropkicks Flair to the floor. Flair comes back with an attempted Figure Four but Konnan rolls him up out of it for 2. They’re starting to really get going now. Konnan lifts the Figure Four and Flair is stuck in the middle of the ring in his own hold. Flair goes up and just waits there for Konnan to throw him off. Dusty points out “he has a habit of doing that”. Yeah, just for the past 15 years or so. You’d think he’d learn. What annoyed me about this time was he had to wait for Konnan. As if you don’t know RIC FLAIR’S spots. You fuck. Liz distracts. Woman has the shoe and the wrestlers ignore what’s going on. Woman hits Konnan with one of the weakest shoe shots, ever. Flair pins using the top rope in one of the most ridiculous finishes I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. **. Decent match with a fucking stupid finish. At least make it *slightly* believable.

BACKSTAGE Okerlund is outside the Outsiders locker room. He says he can hear a third voice and he recognises it but can’t place it. Oh, you WILL. The commentators speculate and Heenan wants to bribe the security guards.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson v The Giant/Kevin Sullivan

The Horsemen get jumped in the aisle. Mongo runs out with the briefcase and hits the Giant. That causes him to chase the former NFL star and Sullivan gets an ass kicking 2 on 1. Giant comes back out but Sullivan is already isolated. Arn ignores the rules and goes low. Not sure how the Horsemen are the heels in this match, which is how they seem to be playing it. They’re also not wrestling. Just beating on Sullivan. Giant contributes a clothesline off the apron leaving Arn down. Arn keeps some nice continuity by dragging Sullivan into the Horsemen corner. Benoit and Sullivan keep letting their hatred for each other get in the way of the match. Benoit is aware that’s a problem and tags Arn but Sullivan tags Arn below the belt. Lots of illegal moves in this match. Why not just ignore the tag stipulations? Sullivan hits one of the sloppiest back suplexes in the history of wrestling and in comes the Giant on the hot tag. Benoit brawls out to the beach with Sullivan. That leaves Arn isolated with the unstoppable Giant. One chokeslam later and the Dungeon of Doom takes the uninspiring win. *1/2. Meh. Giant looked like a star but ultimately what does this match achieve.

POST MATCH Benoit dives off the announce position onto Sullivan. That was awesome. Benoit takes Sullivan apart and out comes Woman. She calls off Benoit. This would have lead to a further Benoit-Sullivan angle involving Woman but the whole New World Order deal pushed that one onto the backburner. Probably for the best. Although Benoit would get used to truncated pushes for the following 3 years.

The Outsiders (Kevin Nash/Scott Hall) v Sting/Randy Savage/Lex Luger

This was supposed to be a 6-man tag but the Outsiders come out here and say they don’t need a third guy. Well technically Hall says “he’s here and he’s ready”. Nash claims they have enough to handle this with just the two of them. All the commentators jump all over the Outsiders and generally the fans are in favour of the WCW competitors. Odd how that’d change when WCW kept losing. Fickle, fickle fans. Luger starts with Hall and Luger can’t contain his aggression and goes after Nash. Sting runs in and STINGER SPLASH on Nash but Luger’s head was in between Nash and the ring post and he’s knocked out cold. See, from this POV it seems odd how Luger went down so easy. There’s a suggestion that Luger is the 3rd guy. Which is great booking because you’re already suspicious of him because of his history of being a jerk. Hell, if Russo was booking he’d have turned Luger anyway. Hall slaps Sting, which causes Sting to go completely nuts. Hall gladly sells like crazy to get over Sting’s insane assault. Savage comes in but Hall catches him in mid air. Nash gives him the Snake Eyes and Hall legally tags the big “mang” in. Dusty is getting REALLY annoying on commentary by repeating “who be bad now” over and over again. Heenan talks about this being a huge psychological advantage for the Outsiders. Savage gets nothing off Nash and lands hard on his neck. Sting gets a tag and Nash wails on him too. Now the Outsiders are in a hugely dominant position. Tony suggests sending someone new out to replace Luger. Sting tries for a sunset flip but Nash grabs him by the throat and chokebombs him. Big boot for the Stinger. The commentators are doing a good job of pointing out that there’s a THIRD MAN somewhere backstage. That’s been drilled into the audience throughout the broadcast. Sting dropkicks Nash “in the gut” according to Tony. Although according to Tony the gut is about halfway up the leg. Tony is getting bloodlust too shouting “HURT HIM”. The Outsiders get the Shades of Wilbur Snyder on Sting and cheat on it expertly. Then Savage piles in to complain and they no tag switch. Sting “has more guts than both of those guys combined” according to Tony. He has five knees? I’m confused. Sting takes a beating and WCW looks to be completely in the shit. Sting starts jabbing and tries to get Nash off balance. HOT TAG! Crowd goes nuts! He runs the Outsiders heads together and pounds away on Nash. Axe handle for Hall. He’s got this but Nash goes downstairs. So everyone is down. Sting is laid out. HULK HOGAN walks out here and for once it gives me chills. Heenan predicts doom with a “which side is he on”? And Hogan LEGDROPS SAVAGE! He invites the Outsiders in and they high five. ***1/2. Maybe not the greatest match but certainly solid. And the finish is 10/10 in terms of great surprises.

POST MATCH Hogan continues the assault and Scott Hall counts Savage down for 3. Okerlund comes out for the famous ‘garbage raining on the ring’ promo. Here’s a transcription of the best promo Hulk Hogan ever cut. Even if he did get “New World Order” wrong at the end.

“First thing you gotta realize, brother, is this right here is the future of wrestling. You can call this the New World Order of wrestling, brother! These two men here came from a great big organization up north, and everybody was wondering who the third man was, well who knows more about that organization than me, brother? Well lemme tell you something...I made that organization a monster...I made the people rich up there...and when it all came to pass, the name Hulk Hogan, the man Hulk Hogan, got bigger than the whole organization, brother. And then Billionaire Ted amigo, he wanted to talk turkey with Hulk Hogan, amigo. Well, you know, Billionaire Ted promised me movies, brother, Billionaire Ted promised me millions of dollars, Billionaire Ted promised me world calibre matches! Well, as far as Billionaire Ted goes, Eric Bischoff and the whole WCW goes, I'm bored, brother. That's why these two guys here, the so called Outsiders, these are the men I want as my friends, they're the new blood of professional wrestling brother, and not only are we gonna take over the whole wrestling business with Hulk Hogan and new blood, the monsters with me, we will destroy everything in our path, Mean Gene. (Okerlund gestures to all the garbage thrown into the ring) As far as I'm concerned, all this crap in the ring represents these fans out here. For two years, brother, for two years I held my head high, I did everything for the charities, I did everything for the kids, and the reception I got when I came out here, you fans can STICK IT, brother, because if it wasn't for Hulk Hogan you people wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff would still be selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis. If it wasn't for Hulk Hogan, all these Johnny come lately's you see out here wrestling wouldn't be here. I was selling the world, brother, while they were bumming gas to put in their car to get to high school. So the way it is now brother, with Hulk Hogan and the New World Organization of wrestling, brother, and the new blood by my side, whatcha gonna do when the New World Organization runs wild on you? WHATCHA GONNA DO?”

We go back to Tony Schiavone who ends the broadcast by telling Hulk Hogan to go to hell. And with that WCW became an unstoppable juggernaut success story. One thing that’s never mentioned in this whole deal is the audible “Hogan” chant after his promo. He still had a fanbase who were loyal despite him being the biggest jerk in the promotion.

The 411: This is one of those all time unforgettable shows. The undercard is hit and miss but there’s at least one great match on there with Rey-Psicosis (probably Psicosis’ best match) and the NWO angle kicking off is something you really need to see. Easy thumbs up for quality and historical purposes.

Final Score:  8.0   [ Very Good ]