wrestling / Video Reviews
The Burning Hammer Video Review: SHIMMER Women Athletes Vol. 7
Loading...
Pre-show, that greasy-looking stereotypical nerd Dave Prazak tells us that Rebecca Knox is badly injured and will not be here. Now before you all shower me with heat, I am a big fan of Prazak on commentary, but he looks like a guy who spends his Sundays rolling dice and killing orcs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Woah, they announce the weights? I sense the potential for hilarity to ensue!
My first time seeing either lady. Lee has a cowgirl gimmick, Tiana looks like a valleygirl wanna be, and is the heel. I don’t know if it’s the pigtails, but she’s also hot. Very hot. Lee works the crowd and they lock up. Ringer with the go-behind and hammer lock, Lee reverses than Ringer into an arm ringer. More reversals, firewoman’s carry by Ringer. See what I did there? Lee with a single leg takedown, quick cover gets the 1 count. Ringer slips out, Lee runs the ropes, ducks a clothesline and goes behind Ringer, tries for the roll-up but Ringer holds on to the top rope, so Lee swings up and back into a crucifix for 2. Nice. Inside cradle for 2. Drop toe hold by Lee, Oklahoma Roll gets 1. Thank you for shopping at Rollups R Us. Whip reversed, Ringer with a FLUFFED big boot and into mounted punches. She could do that to me any time. Elbow drop by Ringer gets 2. Club to the back by Ringer, followed by an elbow drop. Cover gets a 2 count. Lee fights back with shots to the bread basket, Ringer backs her into the corner, chokes and some NASTY chops. Whip to the opposite corner, Lee hits hard. Ringer with the Jericho-style cocky cover for 2. Ringer asks the ref if he has tickets to the GUN SHOW! Unfortunately, they’re more like pipe cleaners, but as I believe I mentioned before, she’s hot so all is forgiven. Allison Danger, on commentary, proceeds to make the same joke. Reverse chinlock by Ringer. Elbows by Lee to escape but a sharp pull of the hair by Ringer stops the momentum. EVIL HEEL! Choke, then a cover for 2. Lee ducks a chop and lays in some friendly taps on the chest. She ducks a rather attractive-looking spin kick and hits the slowest handspring forearm in existence. Well, maybe better than Kelly Kelly’s. 2 count. Big clotheslines by Lee, she monkey flip out of the corner but it’s blocked and Ringer turns Lee around, perching her on the top turnbuckle, then lifts Lee onto her shoulders, DVD position…Widowmaker! Apparently it’s the South Palm Beach Driver and she gets the 3 and the win.
Winner: Tiana Ringer by pinfall.
Rating: 3/4* A rather inauspicious start to a card that comes highly recommended. There was just nothing in this match. It wasn’t BAD, it wasn’t enough of anything to BE bad. It felt like what it likely was: two recent graduates of a wrestling school running through a routine match.
Ariel has B*Witched as her theme music? Really, Ariel? REALLY? It’s not the vampire Ariel that is now Salinas, by the way. Once again, this is my first look at either lady. Ariel looks like my HR Manager at work. Rogers is announced as the Definition of Technician. Oh that sounds promising, I love me some technician. Lock up, Ariel with the early arm ringer, Rogers with the go behind and then headlock. Ariel with forearms to the back to escape, then a headlock of her own. Rogers powers out into the front facelock. Single leg by Ariel, into a leglock. Rogers rolls through for a 1 count, then ties up the legs of Ariel into an Indian Deathlock! Promising start. Clean break after Ariel reaches the ropes. Lock up again, top wristlock by Ariel, reversed by Rogers, she takes Ariel down to a bridge, Ariel powers up and takes Rogers down to the mat. Rogers up to her feet and applies move #4: ARM-BAR. God, goofy heel Jericho ruled. Ariel with a head-butt to escape. Some good technical stuff here to start. I just noticed there is a woman refereeing. Awesome. Test of strength, Cindy with a…hmm…no idea what to call that. She sits on the mat, trapping Ariel’s hands between Cindy’s legs and then applied a neck vise while making Ariel bend over her. See, innovative matwork is easy! The more I watch this match, the more I think that IS my HR Manager. Next time there’s a SHIMMER taping I’ll have to keep an eye out, make sure she doesn’t disappear. Kicks to the back by Ariel to escape, she has a whip reversed, hip toss attempt by Rogers is blocked but Ariel hits one of her own. Arm drag and drop kick gets a 1 for Ariel. Rogers squirms out of the body slam attempt, lays in a couple of elbows and a hits a vertical suplex for 2. Snap mare followed by the flipping neck snap gets 2. I love that move, have done ever since I saw Hennig do it. Even when Cena did a modified version as his Throwback finisher, I liked it. Once again, Allison Danger steals my thoughts and mentions that Rogers learned that move by watching old Curt Hennig tapes. She might be smart but her voice is making my teeth itch… Elbows to the gut by Ariel, she hits a snap mare of her own and then a basement dropkick to the shoulder. Cover gets 2. Chops in the corner by Ariel, followed by a HAIR BEALE. Rogers ducks a big chop in the other corner and lays in some shots, followed by a normal beale for 1 before Ariel grabs the rope. Exchange of shots, which Ariel wins, Irish whip, Rogers ducks a clothesline and a double horsecollar bulldog leads to a standing count by the ref. Ariel up at 7, with Rogers right behind her. Shots exchanged. Boy, that technical match went out the window. Ariel chops a hole through Cindy’s chest, damn was that loud. Roderick Strong would have been proud of that. Cindy regains control with a boot to the gut, followed by a facebreaker on the knee, HHH style. That gets 2. Another cover for 2, then a cover with a handful of ass gets 1 before the ref sees it and stops counting. Amazing, a ref with eyes! Ariel takes advantage of the sudden shock of this unnatural phenomenon and hits a spiffy snap northern lights with bridge for 2. Ariel’s whip gets reversed, Rogers with the X-Factor for 2. Whip by Rogers, Ariel hangs on, arm ringer, KICK WHAM STUNNER! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! Sorry. Ariel with the cover and the 3.
Winner: “Portuguese Princess” Ariel by pinfall.
Rating: *½ That’s better. Some nice moves in this match make it more watchable, and I could get into it, but still nothing that stands out. Maybe I’m spoiled on joshi, maybe I’m expecting too much. Still, this match would have put most WWE women to shame.
If my memory serves, Hosaka is awesome, and I think I remember Deeb being pretty good too. Fyfe and Hosaka are the heels here, and are dressed alike. HIDDEN HIGHLIGHT~! Deeb and Perez are all in Pink, making them auto-faces. Portia Perez had to get a signed note from her mommy to stay up past 8. Damn she looks young. Ring announcer mistakenly announces the heels at a combined weight of 405 instead of 305, and fecal matter hits the rotary ventilator. Hosaka flies all up in his grill, yo, and he looks legit terrified. Good thing it wasn’t Kong. BAHAHA Fyfe bats him on the nose! LULZ~! The bell rings, finally, and Hosaka runs right into a pair of deeeeeeep Steamboat armdrags from Deeb. Armbar on the mat. Hosaka stands up, gets powered down to one knee, then backs Deeb into the rope. Cheap shot by Hosaka, into a headlock. Deeb turns it into a top wristlock. I’m sensing a common thread to the start of these matches. Hosaka with the hair pull to escape, then an arm ringer, reversed by Deeb, tag to Perez who keeps the pressure on. Hammer lock by Perez, reversed into a waistlock by Hosaka, then an armdrag and bar. According to SHIMMER aficionado Ryan Byers, Perez was 18 or 19 when this match was filmed. She doesn’t look a day over 13. Hosaka whips Perez into Fyfe’s boot. When admonished by the referee, she claims she was stretching. That’s a new one. Whip by Hosaka, flying double chop to the chest. Classic referee distraction leads to nefarious heel double teaming and switching without a tag! Unprecedented! For at least the fifth time, Allison Danger points out that someone, The Experience in this case, have no respect for the referee, no respect for the rules and no respect for their opponents. I wonder if that’s because they’re heels? Naaaah! Fyfe with the whip and the knockdown for a 2. Perez is pushed into the heel corner for more heel tactics, a clean tag to Hosaka leads to a double whip, Perez ducks the double clothesline and comes off the other side with a crossbody, but because she’s only 12 the heels easily catch her. Deeb comes in with the helpful Tenay dropkick (because it was “To the back!”, get it? Oh bite me.), giving Perez some momentum and both heels go down. That earns a 2 count. Perez is still in trouble as Hosaka applies a boot choke in the corner. Fyfe in again with a reverse chinlock. ORTON TRIBUTE! Seriously, Perez looks 12. They do the 2 and a half arm drop spot, then Perez escapes the chinlock with a chinbreaker. IRONY! HOT TAG and Serena is a clothesline machine! House! En! Fuego! Jawbreaker for Fyfe, clothesline and dropkick for Hosaka, two big kicks for Fyfe, and the heels regroup on the floor. Hosaka is slingshotted in from the apron, and Deeb tags Perez back in. Umm, didn’t she just get beaten down for 5 minutes? These kids must have amazing recuperative powers. Leg lariat, then a body slam by Perez gets a 1 count before Fyfe breaks it up. All 4 ladies in now, Deeb gets thrown to the floor, double team gordbuster to Perez and Hosaka with the pin for the duke, or should that be duchess?
Winners: Malia Hosaka and Lexie Fyfe by pinfall.
Rating: *3/4 A fairly paint-by-numbers tag match with, once again, nothing outstanding. I’m waiting for something to make me sit up and gasp, and so far nothing has come close. Again, though, this is still better than all but a couple of the WWE women could do. Oh, and the mistake at the beginning was hilarious.
This was filmed WAY before MsChif won the SHIMMER title. Hell, before there WAS a SHIMMER title, which I believe happened on volume 13. Rain is now Peyton Banks. MsChif is still MsChif and will stay that way for as long as she looks like that. I’m not telling her to change. She screams a lot, and loudly. And not Melina-style primal screaming either, more like scare-you-shitless screaming. Bryce Remsburg sighting! He goes to check MsChif, she screams at him, and he backs off. Rapidly. Rain tells Remsburg to check her. “She’s…she’s fine” – Remsburg, to Rain. Gold. Lock up, Rain backs MsChif into the corner and nails a sneaky elbow. Shots from MsChif, suplex gets 2. Magistral from MsChif gets 2 more, and a backslide gets 2. Body scissors roll through into an inverted modified STF-type thing, Rain gets to the ropes and goes outside. Not seen that move before, most innovative. MsChif chases her, Rain goes back in and lays in some blows as MsChif tries to follow. Big forearm from Rain, backs MsChif into the corner, chop, whip, running knee to the gut and a bulldog out of the corner gets 2. Loud chops from Rain, whip, back elbow gets 2 more. Forearm, whip, MsChif goes for the body scissors again but Rain blocks it into a high-angle Boston crab, then SITS DOWN on the mat while holding the Crab! MsChif must be a contortionist, that shit looks OUCH. As if that didn’t suck enough, Rain lays in some slaps to the lower stomach area. Damn. Forearm exchange, SCREAMING URAKEN by MsChif then an effortless standing moonsault!! I love spinning backfists. Love them. The ribs are hurting too much to make the cover, though, both from the work Rain has done and a pre-existing injury MsChif had from her feud with Cheerleader Melissa. Rain takes advantage and hits a basement dropkick right to the ribs and gets a 2. Rain with some double stomps to the ribs now, using the ropes for leverage, because she’s an EVIL HEEL! Another 2 for Rain. Whip, but Rain drops her head and MsChif rolls her up for 2. Clothesline by Rain, then she drives MsChif’s head to the turnbuckle. More chops by Rain, she avoids the clothesline and hits one of her own. Abdominal stretch locked in! MsChif crouches to relieve some pressure, slips into a chinbreaker position and hits it. Great counter. Chop exchange mid-ring, MsChif wins and goes all Kenta Kobashi on her chest with the barrage of chops. STRONG STYLE~! Clothesline bonanza! Whip into the turbnbuckle, and MsChif with some stomps to the back of Rain. 2 count for MsChif as Cheerleader Melissa is at ringside to scout her long-time rvial MsChif. MsChif gets distracted long enough for the reverse lungblower from Rain, but it only gets 2.88654! Rain goes for a swinging reverse DDT, countered by MsChif into a Roll the Dice-type maneouver for 2.9119! It’s the Call from the Grave, apparently. Whatever. I miss Reno. Lacey is now at ringside, having knocked over Cheerleader Melissa on her way. Lacey is up on the apron, tosses a chain into the ring for Rain, who uses it on MsChif…Remsburg sees it! DQ!
Winner: MsChif by disqualification for use of an international object.
Rating: *** It was getting good, very good, with some good selling of the ribs by MsChif and a story being told. Then we went all run-in happy and got stuck with a non-finish and something of a cluster. With a clean win in this match, we’re into an extra half-snowflake. As it is we had some good spots and good psychology, and a good exhibition of a different style.
Amber O’Neal is accompanied to the ring by Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael. For the 4 people reading this who might not know, Danger is the sister of former ECW standout Steve Corino. She also has the longest freaking intro to her ring entrance ever. At least a minute of music before she graces us with her presence. Amber O’Neal no-sells it all by sitting on the top turnbuckle and letting out a huge…sigh. O’Neal is apparently a heel. Lock up, straight into an arm ringer by O’Neal, reversed by Danger. Take down with a knee to the shoulder by Danger, O’Neal gets up and reverses again. Holy crap, Daffney is on commentary! Sweet. Fireman’s carry by Danger, rolls up the legs and gets 2. Back to the arm, O’Neal to the ropes for the break. Lock up again, headlock by O’Neal. Danger turns it into a top wristlock. I should just copy-paste that into every match. O’Neal with the reversal again, and she takes Danger to the mat and straddles her with the arm bar. Mmmm straddling. Danger ducks between O’Neal’s legs for the escape and rolls her up for 2, O’Neal with a rollup of her own for 2. Nice little exchange there. ANOTHER armbar, whip by Danger, O’Neal blocks the clothesline and turns it into a backslide for 2, small package by Danger for 2. Leg sweep by Danger, 2 count. O’Neal returns the favour also for 2. Another good, if vanilla, exchange. At least it was crisp. Mmmmm vanilla crisp. Chops exchanged, possibly not smart by O’Neal, what with Danger’s reputation as the best striker in SHIMMER. They’re exchanging forearms now, and Danger wins the exchange. April, I mean Amber gave as good as she got though. O’Neal meets the turnbuckle. Danger with much beatage in the corner. Danger with a whip, O’Neal ducks a clothesline and dropkicks the knee. To work on the left knee now, into a leg vine. Danger with a shot to get out of it, O’Neal goes outside and slams the leg into the apron. Tries it again but Danger kicks her off into the railing. Baseball slide by Danger , who goes outside now. She throws O’Neal in, tries to follow but gets kicked in the back of the knee. O’Neal wraps Danger’s leg around the bottom rope and breaks on 4. Leglock now by O’Neal. Switches it to an ankle lock, then transitions to a half crab. That was brilliant. Danger makes the ropes. Danger in the corner, O’Neal wraps her leg in the ropes again and lays in the boots. Will Danger remember to sell it? O’Neal pulls Danger out of the corner by her leg, Danger hops while O’Neal jawjacks with the ref…enziguiri! O’Neal up first, Danger breaks free and lays in the forearms. Headbutt! Neckbreaker over her bad knee! DURR. She sells it well though. 2 count for Danger. Suplex by Danger, holds on, a second, holds on again, a third, fourth and fifth! Cover, 1…2…2.7! O’Neal is up, smacking in the stiff forearms! Fighting Spirit! She ducks a clothesline, goes for the shinbreaker but sells the damage to the back from the suplexes a moment earlier. A boot to the breadbasket, then a neckbreaker gets 2 for O’Neal. Both women exchanging shots from their knees now. To their feet and more shots. Danger blocks a shot, rolls through, STF applied! O’Neal taps! I guess Amber needed T-U-R-T-L-E power.
Winner: Allison Danger by submission.
Rating: **3/4 We’re getting there. I haven’t been a fan of Danger, and not having seen O’Neal before I wasn’t expecting much, but they pulled out a decent striking much with some good mat work and even some selling. Once again, though, the match suffered from a feeling of “wrestle-by-numbers”, and when every match so far has had that feel, it lowers the viewer’s appreciation.
I love everything about Lacey. Even her music. She is also the best snobby bitch heel EVER. (NB: slight exaggeration) Remsburg sighting! Lacey AND Remsburg? In the same ring?
NUMEROUS PURCHASES!
Lacey goes to work on the arm to start, Nikki with some fanciness and a reversal, then into the hammer lock. Lacey reverses, Roxx drops down, executes a drop toehold and then a front facelock. Lacey reverses again into a hammerlock on the mat, reversed AGAIN by Roxx. You know, reversal chains are nice, but it’s still just a hammer lock. Minus workrate! Single leg by Lacey, into a headlock on the mat, turned into a front facelock by Roxx. Quick cover gets a 2 count for Nikki, then it’s back to the facelock, and after an escape Lacey goes back to the armbar. Lacey goes nom nom on Roxx’s hand! I can has voodoo fingarz? Lacey with a headlock again, Roxx steps on the back of the knee, escapes and headlocks Lacey. Whip by Lacey, hip toss blocked, and a BIG clothesline by Roxx! Almost lariat-esque. What IS the difference, anyway? Roxx lifts Lacey onto her shoulders…Samoan Drop! She’s not even…oh screw it. Lacey bails to the outside, looking like someone just told her it’s not butter. Lacey takes a drink from the water bottle of some fan, who probably paid at least $3 for it. That’s enough for a wink from Ashley Massaro! Roxx grows tired of waiting and chases her around ringside. Lacey tries the wily veteran move of getting in first, but Roxx fakes her out and Lacey’s elbow finds the canvas! Steamboat armdrag by Roxx and another armbar. This is going to need to get a LOT better. Whip to the corner, Lacey uses the momentum to go up top, and meets a charging Roxx with the sole of her boot. Lacey grabs Roxx by the back of the head and rams her knees into Roxx’s back while still sitting on the top. Diving top rope bulldog by Lacey gets a 2 count. That was a pleasant change from what we’ve seen so far. Blows to the back by Lacey, cover gets 2 more. “Nikki Roxx, meet turnbuckle!” – Lacey. Hard whip to the opposite corner, Roxx is down. Lacey ties her up face first in the corner, running double knee to the back! It’s the Elijah Express! She tries it again, Roxx dodges, and catches Lacey with a drop kick! Shots in the cormer by Roxx, a whip gets reversed and Lacey nails a clothesline to the back of the head. Neckbreaker out of the corner gets two. Choke now by Lacey. Forearms to the back by Lacey, Roxx tries to fight back but eats a spin kick. Buffalo sleeper by Lacey now. “Don’t talk unless you’re giving up!” – Lacey. Roxx battles to her feet and snaps Lacey overhead! Nice escape. Lacey ducks a clothesline and HOLY CRACK MONKEY! Back suplex right on the external occipital protuberance! Somehow Roxx is out at 2. Lacey stands on the hair and pulls the arms. Let’s got to BlaccuWeather Meteorologist Ollie Williams to find out how that feels. Ollie?
That shit hurts!
Thanks Ollie. Now this! Lacey wraps Roxx in the ropes and works the back now. Roxx comes back with some shots, tries for a drop kick, but catches air as Lacey holds the ropes. Lacey with the trash talk while pounding at the back. Lacey goes for the implant DDT, double leg takedown by Roxx into a jacknife pin gets 2. Lacey gets up, ducks the clothesline and locks in a butterfly lock! Mark out! Knees by Roxx to escape, Northern Lights gets 2 for Roxx. Both ladies down now. Forearm battle, Nikki wins, BIG clothesline! Dropkick, T-Bone suplex!! 2 count for Roxx. Roxx goes for the Barbie Crusher (Best name EVAR), but knees to the face by Lacey change that plan and a LUNGBLOWER from out of nowhere (great song) gets 2 and a half. Her Faith is No More! Cobra clutch backbreaker by Lacey gets 2. Shades of Roderick Strong! Lacey goes back to the Cobra Clutch, elbows by Roxx, she drops down into a jawbreaker, applies a hammerlock, lifts her into a facelock, then DROPS TO THE MAT! Sweet mother of mercy! That’s the Barbie Crusher, it’s NASTY, and it’s 3!
Winner: Nikki Roxx
Rating: ***½ This was a very good match, despite the slow and formulaic start. I said it would have to get a lot better, and it did. I’ve seen far better from Lacey, but that’s not to say this was bad. It’s not hard to see why Roxx got called to TNA, she has a good look and a moveset that works in a major fed.
LuFisto is SHORT, but she uses AFI for her theme, so it’s all good. Martinez was headed for great things before getting hurt, so I have high expectations for this match. Face on face, it would appear. Out of the lock up, Martinez goes behind into the waistlock, LuFisto reverses into a facelock on the mat, then a hammerlock. Drop toehold by Martinez to escape, headlock, LuFisto with a leg bar to escape. Armbar by Martinez, reversed by LuFisto, leglock takedown by LuFisto, into a headlock by Martinez. See, change it up a bit! Simple! Mat wrestling and early weardown hold exchanges can be great if they’re not all the same. Armbar by LuFisto, rollthrough into a standing front facelock by Martinez, whip by Martinez and LuFisto ducks a clothesline and avoids the dropkick, both ladies avoid the big boot, backfist attempt by LuFisto misses, waistlock by LuFisto into an armbar by Martinez. LuFisto with her own armbar, now a combo dragon sleeper/hammerlock by Martinez which in turn is made into a front facelock by LuFisto. Martinez carries her to the corner for the break. Whew!
Couple of lock ups solve nothing, so Martinez wants a test of strength. Martinez with the height advantge wins it, driving LuFisto to the mat, but an athletic lucha counter gets LuFisto out of the pinning predicament. Waistlock by LuFisto, standing switch, arm drag by LuFisto into a side headlock. Whip, both ladies try a shoulder tackle, and the irresistible force meets the immovable object. They do it again, then on the third rush by LuFisto Martinez hits a dropkick and then a powerslam for 1. Where on earth did she get a name like LuFisto anyway? Chinlock by Martinez. OK, this is weird: Martinez ties up LuFisto in her own legs, basically turning her into a ball, then takes a breather in the corner. Strange spot. Running boot by Martinez, followed by excessive beatage. Whip by Martinez but LuFisto ducks the elbow, nice leg lariat by LuFisto. Michinoku Driver, transitioned into a headscissors! Nice sequence. While holding Martinez in the headscissors, LuFisto rolls her over and drives her forehead first into the mat, basically doing pushups with Martinez’ head between her legs. I love that spot and demand to see it more often. DEMAND I say! LuFisto goes for the cross armbreaker but Martinez clasps her hands together to block. Both ladies up, chops to Martinez in the corner, whip by LuFisto. LuFisto follows her in, boot by Martinez and a cover gets 2. Chops by Martinez now, vertical suplex gets 2. REGAL DOINKING STRETCH!!!! Turn out the lights, Regal, she’s a charlatan! LuFisto fights for the ropes and makes it. Shots by Martinez in the corner. Lots of them, in fact. A whip is blocked and turned into a Northern Lights by LuFisto for 2. Drop toehold, double stomp to the back by LuFisto and then the reverse Muta lock into a modified surfboard, then CAMEL CLUTCH! Break her back, make her HUMBELL old country way! More great chain wrestling. As if that didn’t suck enough, LuFisto smacks in the crossfaces. Ouch. Whip by LuFisto gets reversed, spinebuster by Double M! Shades of Double A! Martinez lifts her for the power bomb…holds her in GANSO BOMB position…she wouldn’t! No, instead she HEAVES her up, pure power on display there as she drops her with an emphatic sitdown powerbomb for 2. Beautiful sequence by Martinez. Forearms in the corner by Martinez, running knee strike in the corner, cover gets 2.65! More chops in the corner by Martinez, whip, Martinez charges and misses. LuFisto with the charging forearm, charging knee, charging boot to the face! LuFisto up top, misses the splash. Shut up Prazak, it was not a headbutt. Martinez with a GERMAN! and both ladies are down. Martinez up first at 7, forearm battle won by Martinez. Exploder gets 2. Whip blocked by LuFisto into the DVD!!!!! MARK!!! 2 count only though. Martinez tries to fight back, LuFisto goes for Emerald Fusion, reversed, Martinez goes for the Fisherwoman’s DDT and gets the 3!
Winner: Mercedes Martinez
Rating: ***½ You know, this match started off better than the others in that the counter-wrestling at the start was not all armbars and hammerlocks, and it was looking good. The finish felt really rushed and disjointed though, almost like a big chunk of the match was cut out. That really hurt the overall quality for me. Another five minutes after the DVD and before the finish would have moved this match into stellar heights.
Oh. Hell. Yeah. 2 of the best women wrestlers in North America at the time. Nattie is decked out in Hart Foundation colours and doing her dad’s “Yeah baby! BAHAHAHAHA” all around the ring. How appropriate that Del Rey and Bryan Danielson share music. Hip toss by Neidhart to start, then a headlock, countered into a headscissors by Del Rey, Neidhart kips up to escape. Del Rey goes behind, and hits arm drag into an arm bar. Neidhart rolls over, Del Rey holds on to the arm bar, Neidhart with the hammer lock and then headlock. Del Rey reverses into an armbar, then her own hammer lock. Fireman’s carry by Neidhart, armbar, waistlock by Del Rey into a front facelock. Getting tired of typing that. Real tired. Arm ringer now by Del Rey, Lucha escape by Neidhart into a cross armbreaker, quick escape by Del Rey. They lock up again, quick takedown and a leg lock by Neidhart, Del Rey escapes, they exchange counters into a top wristlock by Del Rey. Beautiful back roll through by Neidhart to escape. Neidhart wants a test of strength, but she is an EVIL HEEL and goes to the cheap shots, then EATS a stiff forearm from Death Rey. You could almost hear the crunch. Headlock by Del Rey. Whip by Neidhart, shoulder tackle and Neidhart goes down. Headlock again. Another tackle, headlock takedown by Del Rey. Wow, both these ladies are SO much better than this. Neidhart escapes Del Rey with a nice roll through and bridging cradle for 2. Whip, reversed, big kitchen sink knee lift by Neidhart. HUGE forearm, and several chokes by Neidhart. Neidhart with the mounted punches, Del Rey rolls over and lays in some palm strikes! Ninja! Neidhart goes for the cross armbreaker again but Del Rey makes the ropes. Shots in the corner, whip, Neidhart charges with the knee to the midsection and wraps up Del Rey’s knee in the ropes. Neidhart charges, Del Rey dodges and gets the rollup for 2. Takedown by Neidhart and back to the knee. Looks like she’s chosen a body part. Del Rey is doing a good sell job too. Kicks with the good leg by Del Rey, Neidhart shakes them off and hits a suplex for 2. Kick to the spine gets 2 more. A second stiff kick, and some brutal forearms from Nattie. Mounted punches again. Spinning toehold by Nattie. Maaaaan, FUNK DAT! A few 2 counts as Del Rey tries to fight out but keeps getting knocked down. Palm strikes by Del Rey to escape the hold. Neidhart is still in control with heavy blows, and then goes back to the leg. Del Rey tries to fight back but a big right hand knocks her down for the 2. Body slam by Neidhart is blocked and turned into a small package for 2. Chinlock by Neidhart now. Snap mare escape by Del Rey, and a dropkick to the back! Neidhart comes back with more stiff-ass forearms and another choke. Neidhart tries for the Sharpshooter, reversed into a modified Dragon Sleeper! Awesome reversal! Neidhart makes the ropes. Neidhart regains control with chops, whip to the corner, Del Rey to the top and rolls with a sunset flip for 2. Del Rey whip reversed, Japanese Legitimate Businessman’s Kick to Neidhart. Another one! Northern lights gets 2. Del Rey still selling the leg, good continuity. Head butt, then a big boot, but a second one is blocked by Neidhart, who hits a roaring lariat and gets 2. Something we don’t see enough of these days, roaring (insert strike here). Neidhart goes for the Sharpshooter again, countered to a package for 2. AGAIN Neidhart tries, gets kicked off, forearm strikes by Del Rey, but a GERMAN by Neidhart ends that comeback. 2 count. She dropped her pretty solid on that. Whip, Del Rey counters and rolls through with a unique rollup for 2. Del Rey goes for the Sharpshooter herself, and locks it in! FINISH INFRINGEMENT! Neidhart rolls through, and they hit stereo lariats! Del Rey ducks another clothesline…BUTTERFLY LOCK! ROYAL BUTTERFLY! That’s all, folks!
Winner: Sara Del Ray by pinfall.
Rating: **3/4 It was strong style, which is not really my thing. Too much striking from Nattie, not enough offence from Sara, and another finish that seemed to come out of nowhere, although less so than the previous match. Again, the start of the match was formulaic. If one or two matches on the card go with the rudimentary stuff to start, it wouldn’t seem so bad, but when EVERY match does it, you can almost skip the first 5 minutes of the match. Worst part of it is that each of these ladies can do more in the ring.
A heel with pompoms, who doesn’t even shake them. Tremendous. I’ve seen Melissa in Japan and also as Raisha Saeed in TNA, and there’s not much she can’t do. Her forte is bending people in mean ways though. Haze is not my favourite, but she makes people look good, and the Mind Trip finisher is vicious.
Daizee plays with the crowd to start, Melissa looks on, OFFENDED! Lock up, Daizee is dragged to the corner, back leg trip, Daizee dodges a big boot. Daizee with the go behind and waistlock, into an arm ringer, Melissa with a couple kicks to break the grip and into an arm ringer of her own. Armbar into a headscissors by Melissa, Daizee rolls into the ropes. Small package by Melissa gets 2, Daizee reverses it and gets 2. Facelock by Daizee, Melissa bridges out of it and locks in her own, floats into a cover for one. Facelock again, single leg by Haze, then she rolls through with the leg into a modified cloverleaf. Oh this is fun. Daizee floats into a headlock, Melissa gets to her feet, whip and Daizee grabs the headlock again. Takedown and a 2 count, Melissa raises her shoulder and Daizee maintains the hold. Headscissors by Melissa to escape. NICE rollthrough by Haze to get 2, then into a face lock, the floats into a butterfly lock. Oh the transitions! Melissa flips out of the butterfly and into a pin for 2, but Daizee regains the facelock, Melissa manages to get on top and just TATTOOS Daizee with some Viagra-stiff forearms. Daizee is backed into the corner, shoulders by Melissa in the corner, a suplex gets 2. Daizee with a headlock, Melissa tries for the back suplex but Daizee rolls forward into the headlock takedown. Melissa with the whip, but Daizee blocks it, steps over Melissa and reapplies the headlock. Interesting counter. Daizee runs to the corner and hits the Rock n Roll Zumhoff headlock takedown! There might be 7 people who have any idea who that is, and 3 who know what the move is. Obscure 80s wrestlers for the win! Melissa gets to her feet, uses some strikes to escape, whip and catches Haze coming off into a tilt a whirl…FUCK ME! Headscissor takedown, and Melissa landed right on the top of her head. That’s Motrin pain. Melissa to the outside, Daizee gives her a few seconds then goes up top and hits the dive to the floor. Chops on the outside from each lady, Melissa goes to whip her to the railing but Daizee stops before the crash. Melissa runs up behind her, waistlock…. GERMAN!!!! attempt blocked. Wheelbarrow suplex? No, she just picks up Daizee wheelbarrow-style and uses Daizee’s head to violently push the safety railing back into position. That Melissa, always concerned about the fans’ safety. No, seriously, stop now. Stop, dammit! Paint me gold and call me Oscar, she does it at least 10 times! Melissa drapes her on the rail now, RVD style…now what? Daizee rolls off to sit in the corner of the rails on the floor. Melissa breaks the count then bends Daizee backwards over the railing, That hurts. Daizee fights back with shots to the midsection. POMPOM SHOTS! Fabulous. They’re not even loaded pompoms. Daizee is thrown back in, Melissa follows her and a cover gets 1. A second cover gets 2. Should have gone for the third cover… Snap mare by Melissa, then an elbow drop. Melissa ties up the legs, goes for the arms to apply the surfboard, but Daizee won’t budge, so Melissa drops some more elbows. Daizee tries to fight back, a whip by Daizee gets reversed, sunset flip by Daizee gets 2. They work the good ol’ rollup reversal spot. Meh. Whip by Melissa, her clothesline is blocked into a crucifix attempt, Melissa blocks THAT into a Samoan Drop. Oh SHUT UP! 2 count. Daizee gets hung up in the tree of woe, Melissa stands on the bottom rope and pulls upward on Daizee’s arms, pending her backwards around the turnbuckle. Damn. The body isn’t meant to do that. Out of the corner now and Melissa applies the leg grapevine. Daizee with a quick rollup for 2 After a brief rest hold, Melissa hits a body slam and starts choking Daizee. Whip to the corner, Daizee climbs with the momentum and hits a charging Melissa with a missile dropkick. Daizee jumps up, uses Melissa’s knees as a springboard for extra height, and hits a facebuster. Both ladies are down now. That was different. Both women to their knees, exchanging chops and forearms. Daizee to the ropes and rocks Melissa with a heavy forearm, whip reversed by Melissa, a wheelbarrow suplex is reversed into a victory roll for 2. Cradle by Daizee gets 2. Melissa with the whip, she lifts Daizee onto her shoulders, DVD position, reversed into the Crucifix submission! Beautiful, flowed well and looked smooth. Melissa heads towards the ropes so Daizee rolls through the submission into a crucifix pin for 2. Melissa regains control with forearms, goes for the Kudo Driver…. Daizee fights it and escapes, Heart punch attempt is blocked….AIR RAID CRASH by Melissa gets only 2. That was sick. Melissa tries the Kudo again, Daizee escapes and tries for a rollup but Melissa fights it off. The Heart Punch is blocked again, a kick to the chest and an AXE KICK get 2 for Melissa. Kudo driver attempt again, Daizee blocks it again, nails a WEAK heart punch, goes for the MIND TRIP! Melissa pushes her off, KUDO DRIVER DANGEROUSSSSSSSSS! MARK THE FUCK OUT! You can count to 30 baby. For-fudging-get it.
Winner: Cheerleader Melissa
Rating: *** ½ I want to give it more, really I do. It was definitely the best match on the card, if only for the finishing sequence, which for once did not seem rushed. There were some stiff shots, some nasty bumps and even some outside-the-ring brutality. The problem was the parts in between. They dragged it down enough that I can’t push this match to the elite **** level.
The 411:Â The first thing I noted was the seemingly higher production values in comparison to RoH. Aside from that, the main thing bringing the overall score for this down is the paint-by-numbers feel of almost every match. Really, apart from the tag match, and the finishes, these matches were by and large interchangeable. Don't get me wrong, there was nothing actively bad here, and you never felt like poking your eyes out with a fork, but by the same token very little made me mark. If you get a good deal on it (like I did), get this. Just don't buy it for $30.
|
 |
| Final Score:  7.2   [ Good ]  legend |
More Trending Stories
- Eric Bischoff Responds to Dax Harwood Calling Him a ‘Stalker’ On Twitter, Says FTR Failed In WWE
- Booker T Weighs in on the Importance & Rise of WWE NXT
- Hulk Hogan Shares The Greatest Part Of His Wrestling Career
- Piesonas Co-Owner Says It Was Clear As To Why Ric Flair Being Was Asked To Leave Restaurant
