The Online Assault: WWF Wrestling Challenge - Episode One

Posted by Randy Harrison on 10.15.2008

We're in the way-back machine to the days when Wrestlemania meant closed-circuit television and when Hulk Hogan being World Champion was still a fresh idea. The Online Assault begins in 1986 with the first edition of the original "B" show, WWF Wrestling Challenge!

Welcome to the first edition of the Online Assault, folks. I'm Randy Harrison, reviewer of such high-quality wrestling programming like the AWA on ESPN Classic and the UWF on ESPN Classic shows. With the UWF's run on ESPN Classic apparently on reruns 95% of the time and the AWA getting into periods I've already covered, there's been a rather large, Harrison-free gap in the Wrestling Zone. I just couldn't imagine what my tens of fans would have done in that instance, so as a treat to myself for suffering through so many hours of horrible wrestling, I've decided to sign up for the WWE 24/7 online service and all of the matches that that entails.

Starting from the very beginning with this review, I will cover every episode of WWF Wrestling Challenge, with a new episode review appearing every Wednesday. I will be adding in bonus content from time to time, including reviews on the Web-Exclusive show "Wrestling Hot Beds" as well as matches that I can group together into reviews. This could include a review with matches that are all title changes, matches with wrestlers that wear masks, matches that are all from editions of Raw, and so on. The first edition of the bonus columns should be going up shortly, with work already underway on "The AKA Edition: Volume One" a review that will feature matches from wrestlers working gimmicks that they might not be as well-known for as their current gimmicks. Examples are matches like The Steiners vs. Doom from the February 1990 Clash of the Champions, and Papa Shango vs. Scott Taylor from an April 1993 edition of RAW.

This should be a fun ride and I'm looking forward to continuing these trips down memory lane that began with the ESPN shows, so without any further delay, let's get to the first edition of WWF Wrestling Challenge. Let the Online Assualt BEGIN!!



WWF Wrestling Challenge: Episode One (Originally aired on September 7, 1986)

Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us to the premiere of Wrestling Challenge and introduces us to Ernie Ladd and Johnny Valiant before we get a gloriously cheesy 1980's WWF intro video, with stars like Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, King Kong Bundy, Ricky Steamboat and others in the action montage. You know, the guys that we'll probably never be seeing on this show. After the intro, Monsoon runs through the line-up with Handsome Harley Race's coronation ceremony, Koko B. Ware, Paul Orndorff and The British Bulldogs all on the docket for today, as well as the debut of Jake Roberts' interview segment "The Snake Pit". We're off to the ring for our opening bout, with Lord Alfred Hayes as our ring announcer!


Match One:
Iron Mike Sharpe and Magnificent Muraco w/Mr. Fuji vs. The US Express

This is the Rotundo and Spivey version as Barry Windham had already bailed to head back to the NWA at this point. Monsoon and Ladd give them the verbal blowjob treatment, while Johnny V says he'd like to send them to Mars. Muraco and Rotundo start this one off and I have to say that the US Express have some of the ugliest tights around. Side headlock by Rotundo off of a lockup and Muraco pushes him into the corner, surprising everyone with a clean break. Muraco grabs a side headlock of his own and Rotundo whips him into the ropes, leading to Muraco stopping short in front of Spivey. A bunch of Rotundo armdrags and an armbar leads to a tag to Spivey, who comes off the second rope with a shot to the arm. The whole time this is going on, we've got an insert interview with Superstar Billy Graham. Most of it is pretty unintelligible, but the gist of it is that he's back on the WWF circuit, whatever that means. Spivey with an armbar but Muraco shoots him off into the ropes, missing a clothesline and eating a bodyslam before Spivey armdrags him back over into an armbar. Tag to Rotundo and he drops a leg on the arm before tagging right back to Spivey. Muraco goes to the eyes and hammers Spivey with a reverse elbow before tagging in the World's Loudest Jobber, Mike Sharpe!! Sharpe grunts and hammers away at Spivey, ramming him into the turnbuckle before trying to send him across for an Irish whip. Spivey reverses it and then gets another big Irish whip, following it with a back bodydrop and a fairly awkward looking dropkick. Irish whip into the ropes by Spivey and a quick tag to Rotundo and Sharpe ends up in the AIRPLANE SPIN!! ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH-ing from Sharpe and Rotundo drops him like a bad habit, covering for two before Muraco pounds on Rotundo to break the count. All four men in the ring and Rotundo gets Sharpe in a small package but as the referee deals with Spivey, Muraco flips them over. Muraco is on his way outside and Spivey REVERSES THE REVERSAL AND ROTUNDO GETS THE PINFALL!!

Winners: The US Express (pinfall, Rotundo small package)

Match Analysis: This match would have been way better with the Rotundo/Windham version of the Express. Kind of interesting to see Muraco on the losing end of the match on what was essentially a jobber team, but they kept it straight with the story by having Muraco in charge until he tagged in Sharpe. Still strange to see Muraco, with all of his success and having Mr. Fuji as his manager, jerking the curtain in the opener.

We head to the back for what Monsoon calls a special "Wrestler's Rebuttal", which this week features WWF Intercontinental Champion, Randy "Macho Man" Savage. You call it rebuttal, I call it psychotic greatness. Savage points out that he's the Intercontinental Champion and kisses the belt, saying that he doesn't appreciate the way that people cheer for Elizabeth and that those cheers should be reserved for him. He challenges the fans to cheer for him, get on the bandwagon and join the Macho Man!! My guess is he bribes them with Slim Jim's, Spiderman DVDs and copies of "Be A Man".


Match Two:
Tommy Sharp vs. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis w/Cowboy Bob Orton and Jimmy Hart

Sweet Jesus, that's a hell of a look on Adonis. I'm guessing he set the makeup gun to "Whore" backstage before the match. Orton holds the mirror and looks about as funny as you can imagine in a pink cowboy hat. Adonis works over the crowd a little and then tries a rolling takedown that Sharp backs away from. Standard lockup and Adonis monkey flips Sharp over out of it, leaning against the buckles to admire his move. He seriously looks like The Joker with all that makeup on and as the pace slows for a second, Gorilla takes the time to chastise Adonis for chewing gum in the ring, stopping just short of hoping Adonis chokes on it. Adonis with a hammerlock and Sharp reverses it as Bob Orton comes up in a pop-in promo, saying that the money is better and the working conditions are better with Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart and that he is even beginning to like the smell of "all them pretty flowers". Adonis flips Sharp out of the hammerlock and snaps on an arm-wringer, with Sharp reversing it until Adonis grabs the ropes. Elbows and knees from Adonis on the break and Adonis just flings Sharp through the ropes to the floor, where Hart douses him with perfume from that bug spray can. Adonis grabs Sharp by the hair and flips him over the top rope into the ring and we see Sharp hitting a big right hand, trying for an Irish whip out of the corner, but Adonis holds onto the ropes. Jimmy Hart is up on the apron and ORTON'S IN THE RING!! ADONIS TO THE TOP ROPE AND HE DROPS AN ELBOW WHILE ORTON SLAMS SHARP WITH A BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!! There's the cover and there's the 1-2-3!!!

Winner: "Adorable" Adrian Adonis (pinfall, Orton-ference)

Match Analysis: This was the usual from Adonis, alternating between fairy queen and ass-kicking machine. This one served a dual purpose as you could see them laying the groundwork for the Danny Davis storyline all throughout, including the finish where Davis was distracted by Jimmy Hart for an inordinate amount of time. Good match, but nothing spectacular.

Ken Resnick is backstage, talking about the unbelievable occurences in the WWF as of late and he talks about the most surprising of them being Bob Orton aligning himself with Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart. He brings Orton in to explain himself and Orton says he gave it a great deal of thought. He calls himself extremely intelligent and that he was offered more money than Roddy Piper offered him. He rails on Piper for going to Hollywood and leaving him high and dry. He tells Piper that when he stopped sending checks, his contract was null and void. Orton says he'll wear any color hat that Adonis tells him to because he's being paid handsomely for it, implying that it takes a hell of a man to wear a pink hat. He claims that he made Roddy Piper what he was and that if it hadn't been for Orton, Piper wouldn't have been able to say half the things he did.


Match Three:
Bob Bradley vs. Koko B. Ware

This is one of the matches that has the chick referee with the name I can't recall, and as Koko flaps his arms and circles around Bradley, we get some pre-recorded comments from the Birdman. Koko says he wants to do the bird because he's moving on up in the world. He calls the WWF #1 and says that's why he's here, because he wants to face the best. He says he'll be moving and grooving all over the place inside the ring. Bradley grabs a side headlock and Ware shoots him into the ropes, eating a shoulderblock before trying a cross-bodyblock that gets a two-count. Side headlock and a takedown by Ware and he gets a two-count off of it before Bradley starts laying in some elbows and a pair of right hands into the corner. BIG bodyslam from Bradley and he's headed up to the top rope, MISSING AN ELBOWDROP!! Ware with an Irish whip into the ropes and he follows him in with a reverse elbow, whipping Bradley into the ropes again for a beautiful pair of dropkicks. Koko to the second rope and he hits a flying dropkick into a big splash for the three-count!!

Winner: Koko B. Ware (pinfall, big splash)

Match Analysis: Yawn. I know that Ware was always going to have a place in the WWF because of his awesome gimmick with the bird, but he just never did it for me in his New York run. I don't know it he was shackled or not, but he could do SO much more in the ring and proved it in his runs in Memphis with Norvell Austin and Bobby Eaton. Could you imagine Ware and Eaton with Cornette as their mouthpiece? That would have blown the Condrey/Eaton version of the Midnight Express out of the water and possibly even the Lane/Eaton version.

Ken Resnick has Jimmy Hart with him now and Hart says that Resnick is too nosy for his own good. He says that people think that Adonis is an instigator and maybe he is, maybe he isn't but everyone needs a bodyguard. Resnick runs down Hart's stable including the Funks and The Hart Foundation and questions why he needed a bodyguard. Hart says he has men all over the world and he needs protection 24/7. Resnick implies that Adonis couldn't protect him and Hart mocks Piper for losing Orton, saying that The Flower Shop will reign forever and that Adonis is on his way to the WWF Championship. He closes out by saying that maybe Orton will get some of the recognition that he deserves and that he might be a champion someday as well.


Match Four:
Troy Martin vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

Martin is indeed, the future Shane Douglas. Orndorff comes out to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song which leads to a funny moment where the crowd pops for a couple of seconds before they realize that it's Orndorff coming to the ring. Orndorff plays it to the hilt, even mocking Hogan and his pre-posedown routine to cup his ear to hear the cheers from the crowd. Orndorff loses his shit because the crowd is on him and they start with a couple of lockups with Martin grabbing a side headlock and Orndorff reversing it with an atomic drop, throwing Martin through the ropes to the floor. Pop-up promo time with Honky Tonk Man and he talks about Orndorff, saying that he's the man that has the Honky Tonk Man upset. He says that he did something to a friend of the Honky Tonk Man that he doesn't like. He promises that when he's in the same arena as Orndorff, he hopes that he's shaking like a leaf on a tree, that he's ALL SHOOK UP!! I had almost forgotten that Honky came into the WWF as a face. While that was going on, Orndorff went to the outside with Martin, picking him up for a slam and throwing him over the barricade into the crowd. Orndorff heads into the ring and argues with the referee before dragging Martin back in for a HUGE dropkick. Short-arm clothesline from Orndorff and the crowd HATES him. Orndorff kicks Martin in the ass and picks him up for THE PILEDRIVER!! That was beautiful. Martin bounces off of the mat like a tennis ball and Orndorff covers him for the pin. Orndorff even poses a little like Hogan after the match. Funny moment during the replay as Ernie Ladd speculates that any future Martin might have had in the wrestling business was snuffed out by Orndorff's piledriver.

Winner: "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (pinfall, piledriver)

Match Analysis: Funny to see one of the early matches of Shane Douglas, and even funnier to hear Ladd essentially declare his career over. Douglas looked SCRAWNY here, maybe pushing 210 pounds if he was lucky. This was just here so that Orndorff could come out to Hogan's music and do the posing afterwards. They were forced to have a match so he could do those things so they did, but there was nothing to get too excited about. That piledriver is still the best in the business by a mile though.

It's time for The Snake Pit now and Jake Roberts tells us to enter the Snake Pit if we dare. He promises that it's a new beginning and that the rain is coming because he's got thunder in the Pit today. We see the handlers and out comes The Ugandan Giant, KAMALA!! We hear about how they found the biggest headhunter of them all and that a cousin of Damian (Jake's snake), told them where to find Kamala. None of this makes any sense and it actually gets cut off before it's over. Thank God, because that had disaster written all over it.

It's time for a coronation and there's a ring full of heels, including Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Sheik, The Moondogs, King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd, Slick, The Hart Foundation and others. Howard Finkel hands off to Bobby Heenan and he reads from his scroll, declaring that this coronation will be the most important in the history of the world. He says that this coronation will eclipse royal weddings and inaugurations and the music hits with Harley Race making his way to the ring with his royal robe on. In front of him, Lord Littlebrook has a satin pillow with a huge purple crown. Race walks through an aisleway of applauding jobbers and wrestlers, finally making his way into the ring. They've even taken the top rope completely off of the ring for this one, marking one of the few times I can remember them doing it in that era. Race gets into the ring and takes a seat on his royal throne, allowing Heenan to read from the scroll again, claiming Race as the King of all of Professional Wrestling. He says that from this day forward, Race will give new meaning to the throne and that he will be known as the King from this day forward until the end of time, with a chorus of boos from the crowd in attendance. Race stands and Heenan bows and kisses his ring before exclaiming "Long Live The King", to another chorus of boos. Studd and Bundy carry Race on their shoulders all the way down the aisle to the dressing room.


Match Five:
The Moondogs vs. The British Bulldogs w/Capt. Lou Albano

The Bulldogs are the WWF Tag Team Champions at this point, after defeating The Dream Team at Wrestlemania II, but this match is a non-title affair. The Moondogs attack before the bell, hammering the Bulldogs into opposite corners. The Bulldogs reverse in their corners and whip the Moondogs in for a MALFUNCTION AT THE JUNCTION, leading to Dynamite and Rex starting the match proper. Kid rams Rex into the top turnbuckle and chops him hard, following that up with a GORGEOUS snap suplex. No one throws it better. Cover from Dynamite and he gets a two-count before moving to a side headlock. Rex shoots him off into the ropes and Spot comes from the outside, tripping Dynamite. Tag to Spot and he gets a suplex of his own into a two-count, pulling Kid up for a short right hand before tagging Rex back in. Shot to the gut and a reverse elbow from Rex and he rams Dynamite into the top buckle, whipping Kid in for a reverse elbow. Kneedrop off the ropes for a two-count and there's another tag to Spot, with an Irish whip into a sunset flip from Dynamite that gets him a two-count. Spot recovers and tags Rex back in for another short right hand. Irish whip now and Kid ducks under an elbow, getting a cross-bodyblock for a two-count. Tag to Spot and he goes to the rib cage, hitting Kid with a HARD kneelift that gets him a two-count. Irish whip and Spot misses a clothesline, letting Dynamite get one of his own, tagging in Davey Boy. Tag to Rex and Smith hits him with a big back bodydrop before getting both Moondogs with the double-noggin knocker. Delayed vertical suplex from Smith on Rex and Spot comes in from behind to throw Smith through the ropes to the floor. Dynamite hits a dropkick on Sport and hammers away with right hands, headbutting Rex in the gut. Both Moondogs work over Kid and Davey Boy sneaks up to the top rope and comes off with a flying bodypress onto Rex for the pinfall!!

Winners: The British Bulldogs (pinfall, Davey Boy flying bodypress)

Match Analysis: Not a bad little tag match for a featured bout. I don't really get the finish because the referee essentially forgot that Smith was the legal man and didn't bother counting him out until he suddenly remembered that Davey Boy was legal for the finish. Other than that, this one was actually pretty good with Rex and Spot still able to do some things in the ring and The Bulldogs essentially at the height of their WWF career together. Good way to close out the opening show as the Bulldogs could work and were rover over.

Ken Resnick is in the interview area and he's got Jake "The Snake" Roberts with him, and apparently there's a movement to ban the DDT from professional wrestling. Jake says that people are trying to get the hold outlawed for no reason because it's cruel, but fair, just like Jake. He says he has his own morals that fit his own lifestyle and that he takes care of himself. He says that if someone gets in his way, he'll drop them so fast with the DDT their whole family will fall down and that's just the way he is. He says that there's another man that understands just what Jake is talking about and he brings in "Macho Man" Randy Savage, talking about rainbows. Savage says that he's going to point his finger at Roberts because Roberts freaks him out. He says that they both do things differently than normal men and that they're both better than the best. Roberts says the only reason that people can understand where they're going is because they don't know where they've been. Roberts says that they're their own men and they do whatever they want to, while Savage says that they're one in ten thousand lifetimes.

Monsoon runs down what we're going to see next week, including Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, Hillbilly Jim, King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd as well as The Snake Pit with Hillbilly Jim. Feature match next week is Junkyard Dog and George "The Animal" Steele against The Funks according to Gorilla Monsoon and he throws it to a musical montage of highlights from this debut show to close us out. The music they use reminds me of Night Court, with the heavy slap bass line and the jazzy saxophone riffs. The highlights run through and that's it for the first episode of WWF's Wrestling Challenge.

The 411: An interesting show in a historical context on various levels. Early work from Shane Douglas, the coronation of King Harley and this being the first Wrestling Challenge show ever all work in this show's favor, as does the decent main with the Battle of the Dogs. I could be skewed from having to suffer through so much UWF and AWA stuff, but this show was a lot of fun for me and I'm looking forward to the second show (review coming soon). I can't go too high with the rating because it was still almost all squashes, but it was entertaining at least.

Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]