The Smackdown Breakdown 05.05.06

WWE Smackdown — 05.05.06

From Cincinnati, Ohio.

Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

Rey Mysterio comes out to talk about how happy he is to be champion. Livin’ the dream. Thankfully, John Bradshaw Layfield interrupts. That was the most boring 30-second promo you’ll ever hear. Bradshaw calls himself a “true, American hero.” Uh, Sunbow Animation Studios on line one, Mr. Layfield. Bradshaw runs down Mexicans and says Rey is suffering from machismo. Rey says he will take on anybody, so Bradshaw brings out Mark Henry.

Booker T (w/Sharmell) vs. Gunner Scott.
Gunner Scott actually has entrance music and Jerry Lynn’s old mannerisms. Scott gets a little salty and shoves Booker in the chest. Booker steamrolls him with a shoulderblock but Scott drop toeholds him on a second attempt. Booker overpowers him with chops and hotshots him on the ropes. Scott fights out of a chinlock and catches Booker with a back elbow. Booker hits a step sidekick, but Gunner rolls him up. Sharmell trips up Scott, allowing Booker to hit a thrust kick and finish with the scissors kick at 5:21. Scott’s act aped Benoit’s to a tee, much like Benoit to the Dynamite Kid. After the match, Booker says he can beat the other guys with one hand tied behind his back, so we better get used to bowing down. ALL HAIL KING BOOKER! *

WWE Tag Titles: MNM (w/Melina) vs. London & Kendrick.
London and Kendrick are so distracted by Melina’s entrance that MNM are able to attack them from behind. The match never even gets under way as MNM give them each the Snapshot and pose over their prone bodies. [NR]

King of the Ring Tournament: Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit.
Mucho jockeying to start. Benoit takes him down into a side headlock. They go all UFC as Benoit tries a jujigatame, and Finlay pushes him over to a mount position until Benoit forearms him in the side of the head. They go nose to nose, and Finlay suckers him with a clothesline. Benoit goes to an Indian Deathlock, but Finlay posts him to take over. He smothers Benoit with the ring apron and forearms him in the face! To quote Tony Schiavone, “They are just beating the snot out of each other, and we’re loving it.” Benoit goes for the Sharpshooter, but Finlay rolls him over and pummels him again. Benoit is busted open. Finlay gets complacent and starts kicking Benoit mockingly, so Benoit pops up and takes him down in a Crossface attempt. Finlay rolls away, so Benoit lays in the CHOPS. Finlay gets frustrated and starts tossing chairs into the ring as we go to break. During the break, Benoit dropkicks Finlay’s legs out from under him, smacking his face off the ringsteps. Unfortunately, Finlay reverses a whip, and Benoit takes the Bret Bump to the corner. Finlay takes over again with a chinlock. Benoit keeps trying to fight his way out, but Finlay cuts him off with a clothesline and then a forearm to the head. Finally, Benoit avoids a charge, letting Finlay post himself. ROLLING GERMANS! Finlay avoids the Swandive Headbutt, though. Finlay charges with the shillelagh, but Benoit backdrops him over and takes the shillelagh from him. The ref confiscates the shillelagh, but while he’s putting it away, Finlay jabs Benoit in the throat with a chair. The Schwein finishes moments later at 20:17. This was solid, but it would have been really good had they let it all hang out for the last few minutes. That part seemed to be cut short. ***3/4

The Gymini (w/Simon Dean) vs. Scotty II Hotty & Funaki.
This is the “I didn’t know these guys still had jobs” Bowl. Dean would make a great manager for the Spirit Squad. Jake sets Funaki on the ropes to start, and Jesse yanks him to the floor behind the ref’s back. The Gymini work over Funaki, but Sho gets the hot tag to Scotty. Scotty slings his way in but falls victim to the Crash Diet (double slam) at 3:24. I can’t believe the WWE actually had the good sense to push London & Kendrick and MNM over these guys. It’s not that they’re bad wrestlers, but the gimmick is sooooo one-dimensional. 1/2*

In the back, Bobby Lashley busts into Booker’s locker room just after Booker’s shower and tells him he’s going to beat Finlay then Booker. Well, he made his point.

Cruiserweight Contender Match: Super Crazy vs. Kid Kash vs. Nunzio (w/ Big Vito).
Kash and Nunzio attack Crazy off the bat, but Crazy comes back with a pair of dropkicks. Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice to cut him off. It only gets two, and Kash rolls up Nunzio for two. Crazy backdrops both of them over and hits a top-rope quebrada. The Great Khali interrupts to make sure we don’t get a good match. He destroys all the cruiserweights and poses with Daivari. That’s two non-matches this week. Try to space them out, WWE. [NR]

Non-Title: Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio.
Bradshaw is on commentary. This match goes about how you’d expect, with Rey trying to stick and move, but Henry no-sells everything. JBL goes in for a closer look, so JBL dropkicks him into the announce table. Cole says if American heroes were like JBL we’d be back in the dark ages. Yes, Michael. Those were bad times…for America. The Dark Ages, I mean. JBL says he doesn’t have to admit he was wrong because he has money. Rey makes the comeback and goes up. SPLASH! ONE, TWO,–Henry just picks him up and tries to squash him, but Rey counters to a Spinning DDT. 619! Rey tries to springboard in, but Henry catches him and squashes him with the front slam for the clean win at 5:16. After the match, Henry continues to squash Rey, much to JBL’s consternation. Henry takes Rey to the entrance and prepares to splash him, but JBL stops him and promises that Henry will get the first title defense after JBL wins the title. 1/2*

Final Thoughts: JBL and Mysterio don’t seem to have much chemistry, but thankfully they let JBL run the feud from the mic. Finlay and Benoit took up most of the show, so that helped a lot. Screwing fans out of two matches didn’t. Gunner Scott looked good, and it will be interesting to see how he develops with this Benoit mentorship.

J.D. Dunn